[ video-- when does he use otherwise? ]

[andthehat]

You're all having a bit of fun, eh? S'not exactly fair when 'm all stuck on a ship with the boring now-bearded one with the case of denial and a woman, who while womanly, refuses to be especially womanly in the motherly way a woman does and teach my tiny miniature woman, who I would like to respectfully state might be the most womanly out of the women on the ship while simultaneously being the most manliest in the non-bodily sense of the word 'manly', lessons she learned from her now womanly man such as how to stick another man or woman through with a sword.

I expect this fact is due to the fact that she lacks sufficient facts to be sharing as facts, yes? She's boasting.

And this is all why I need to teach Vriska how to properly shoot things. For fun and also as a necessity. I am lacking in a monkey and my bottle is not-yet completely empty and ready to be target practice. My crew is being no help at all finding things we don't mind having lots of holes in, savvy?

I need volunteers. Not to shoot, unless you would like to be very helpful and forever respected-- and later missed should the first few shots go completely off target, but to give me things of which my offspring can shoot, savvy?

As a reward for this kind service, she will continue to be quite adorable and I will give you this cracker.

Comments

[makewayforroze.livejournal.com]

You have enough people chasing you to find someone to shoot. The group is large enough that even if they miss, they'll just hit someone else who's chasing you.

[andthehat]

No, no. Too easy. That won't help develop aim at all.

[makewayforroze.livejournal.com]

Then choose a specific man. Either way, you win.

[swordplaying.livejournal.com]

Since when did you get offspring?

[andthehat]

Since the offspring was born and became offspring, clearly. That, blond offspring of Jecht, is a silly question.

[swordplaying.livejournal.com]

I've never heard you talk about them before. Tidus sounds a lot better than that title.

[xxxing.livejournal.com]

... Your offspring. Oh. Oooh, I see what's happened here. Captain, you sorry son of a bitch, I really feel for you. Ahaha.

[andthehat]

This would be quite a woeful situation had there been a nagging figure to go along with her but there isn't and there isn't that...stupidity demonstrated by other certain offsprings as I have a remarkable set of good things to pass down, you see, so this is all not-so-bad.

[xxxing.livejournal.com]

Aah, so you're okay with having a brat? This is all going to be a nightmare for you in a few days, and I'm gonna laugh 'til I bust a lung.

Anyway, should you really be calling Vriska adorable? That's misleading to anyone dumb enough to help out.

[Video]

[cleaverage.livejournal.com]

[Skimming over...everything. Will is going to first pick up the most important thing.]

Elizabeth is with you?!?

[Video]

[andthehat]

Ah! Yes. I forgot to mention that. I have located, secured the safety of, and am providing excellent care to --your bonny lass.

Re: [Video]

[cleaverage.livejournal.com]

[Looking very relieved now. Somehow Elizabeth with Jack meant she was safe. She nods before scrunching her face up and recalling the rest of what Jack said. While not surprised that Jack had an offspring, he was surprised at how sudden she seemed to be on the ship. Had he picked her up in Tortuga?]

You are showing your daughter how to be a pirate already?

[antibadstuff.livejournal.com]

And you got a kid when?

[andthehat]

I believe she's 13 though I might be miscounting.

[antibadstuff.livejournal.com]

Whose is it and when did you find out?

[soulfist]

How horrible~ I'm sorry to hear that.

[andthehat]

Which part?

[soulfist]

All of it, but the child part more.

[emberandash.livejournal.com]

... Offspring.

[andthehat]

Aye. Tiny young person from which I helped make and do that fathering thing.

[glass-secret.livejournal.com]

I didn't know you had a kid.

I have a picture of my ex-husband that I use to throw darts at, that you're welcome to.

[andthehat]

Did I not mention this? She talks to people all the time here.

Perfect!

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

I still think you should stand reeeeeeeeally still and let me shoot things off of your head!

[andthehat]

Nothing goes on my head but hats and my hat is not to be shot.

[forgerofdreams.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing shooting empty rum bottles is out of the question.