[video] // black heart inertia

[croibhristeoir]

I have a question, if I could trouble the community for advice.

How should one deal with a...'crisis of faith', I believe the term would be?

Comments

[croibhristeoir]

Not for me. I was called here to do only one thing, and if I can not accomplish that...no, I have to accomplish it. I can not doubt myself, and yet that is exactly what I'm doing at this moment.

[lanternlooking.livejournal.com]

You mean the fighting, right? What are you doubting about it?

[croibhristeoir]

I'm...beginning to wonder if my trust in my Master is misplaced.

[lanternlooking.livejournal.com]

Why?

[croibhristeoir]

This community showed me a vision I suspect to be of my future. It was...not a pleasant end. And betrayal at my Master's hands seemed to be what brought it about.

[lanternlooking.livejournal.com]

...

Are you sure that it was true? It's hard to tell with viruses.

[croibhristeoir]

I...have reason to believe it could in fact happen.

[lanternlooking.livejournal.com]

Then you have to make sure it doesn't happen! There has to be something that you can do now that you know.

[croibhristeoir]

All I can do to prevent such a thing would be to turn my back on all of it. My Master, my oath, my very purpose.

I can not do that. I would sooner die than betray my honor or my lord.

[lanternlooking.livejournal.com]

Then...

Did your master make some kind of oath in return?

[croibhristeoir]

Not as such, no.

[lanternlooking.livejournal.com]

So if he betrayed you there would be no consequences at all?

[croibhristeoir]

If I should die, he loses his Servant and by extension his chance at the Holy Grail...but otherwise, no.

[lanternlooking.livejournal.com]

Is all of this really worth being betrayed by him?

[croibhristeoir]

All I wish for is a chance to faithfully serve my Master and bring him victory. I do not know for certain he will betray me, and I can not turn my back on him based only on possibilities.

[lanternlooking.livejournal.com]

Well...if it really means that much to you, at least be careful. You don't deserve something like that.

[croibhristeoir]

...You barely know me, Rapunzel. [A small, almost bitter smile.] I could have done terrible things in the past for all you know. How can you say such a thing for certain?

[lanternlooking.livejournal.com]

Because you saved me. Even if you did do something terrible in the past, you're doing good right now.

[croibhristeoir]

You really are much too kind.

[lanternlooking.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's such a thing.

[croibhristeoir]

If there is, I think I've found it.

[lanternlooking.livejournal.com]

I just want good people to be happy.