(video.)

[godofabs]

(ignore how lavish his room is okay, it's rare that anyone can see inside the bedroom of thor, but really it's the fact that he's on his side on the bed and not really talking to anyone that's the real problem.

the outline of frigga can be seen. before she sits on his bed and causes him to roll over into her lap.)

All I feel is sorrow, yet I know not why. Everything will slip through my fingers, if I do not hold tight enough- (a pet on his head; they both know why he's so upset.) I did not hold on tight enough to Loki.

(mom is really worried about him, he's never been this depressed.)

Comments

[likethetragedy]

[Have Elektra being openly concerned!] It's okay, Thor. You did the best you could and it's not too late to fix things. [Loki can't be missing forever in theory.]

[godofabs]

(he just turns over, giving her his back. sorry elektra, there's no positive in this.)

[likethetragedy]

Don't be that way. [There's no anger in her voice. She's surprisingly patient.]

Let's talk about it.

[glaived]

Thor.

[ concerned!!! bestie no what is up with you. ]

[godofabs]

Sif.

( ): hey you. )

[glaived]

It was his choice, nothing you could have done or said would have changed his mind.

[ she's going to give you a hug once Frigga leaves. bust down that door and drag you out. ]

[indestructible]

Oh, hey - you're still alive. [ ... sorry this is super uncool and an inappropriate time to burst this out but Claire doesn't have social skills. ]

- You know, sometimes stuff just... happens, and you can't control it. You can't beat yourself up about it.

[godofabs]

There is only failure, there is no effort awarded. (no let him wallow on his mommy's lap, okay.)

[indestructible]

[ Wow what a sadsack Claire immediately desires to make him go drinking with Nathan. Cool. ] ... Okay, you said he slipped through your fingers, right? That means you tried. You did your best.

[ms_potts]

[Hey, Thor, guess who has Jane's feels right now? Pepper watches the video with a sorrowful look of her own... though she's not sure why she feels quite this heartbroken over this wth]

Thor... You did what you could. It's not your fault.

[godofabs]

(oh dear, this could get complicated.)

'Tis all my fault. If I cannot save my own brother, how am I able to save Earth when it needs me?

[ms_potts]

[very...]

No. No, Thor it isn't your fault. You tried.

[Video]

[sexbastian]

If I recall correctly...he was the one who let go. [As much as that annoys and pains Sebastian. He's human too after all.]

Don't blame yourself for something you had no control over.

[Video]

[godofabs]

I had control over it, if I only were faster, stronger - this would have never happened.

[Video]

[sexbastian]

No, you did not. He had his reasons to act the way he did, Thor, and sometimes shit just happens. Blaming yourself won't help anybody.

this is not here hi everyone

[trickstering]

[It hadn't been a month yet, though the days dragged on and the community seemed to believe - if no one else did - that he was alive. The phone that should never have gotten reception in the first place still got Sif's message, the one where she had told him she'd kill him (ridiculous, that they still wished to find him, hanging on to some glimmer of hope that he might still be alive because of the near-worlds-Apocalypse that had hit so many different places). It hurt it its own way to watch them talk about him as if they wished to find him, when they had cared so little for him prior. Suddenly reformed, Thor had learned loss and with it caring but Loki knew his brother was far too poor a liar for it to be false.

But giving into that sentimentality was something he couldn't afford. He should have died when he let go, he should have fallen and that should have been the end of it - painful, painless, did it matter? - but it wasn't. It wasn't and he'd been finding his way around worlds that shouldn't have existed, though the community had done a good job of preparing one for the inevitable surprise there are more than nine realms.

When he'd gone crashing into Canada, landing on that mysterious stranger's front lawn, he'd been ever so proud of his control on his emotions, giving away nothing, but it hadn't been long enough. What was a month to an Asgardian? His father's comment still rang in his head, his fight with Thor, Sif's betrayal - and anger ran through his veins like blood, far surpassing the jealousy he knew they would claim drove his actions.

Not that they had ever once understood, and now that Thor had found this damned sense of maturity, they'd all forget the vain boy who would've made a poor king. The boy who had never once cared to notice his brother, now a man grieving. It was cruel irony, because it robbed him of any legitimacy and he knew that was what everyone would choose to see. Remember that he had always been thus - but Loki knew better than that.

There we a couple people talking about feeling strange emotions (echos of loneliness, of fear - were those not simply his own?) but nothing prepared him for dealing with this. It was one thing to see his mother again (could he even still call her that?) he had always been closer to her, telling her secrets he kept locked away from everyone else on occasion, because he trusted her enough for them.

Thor speaks and his chest feels tight (idiotic, to feel anything at all, when Thor had never once cared prior), Thor's tone hurts him, so foreign from what it usually is and he struggles to push away the way the emotion practically chokes him, fighting to keep control over everything he felt. He was better than this, better than all of this, he was angry, he should be angry, he should be irate, he didn't deserve to feel guilty for this when it was Thor's fault - but he can't.

Desperately clinging to whatever anger he could find, trying to be not the boy who had cried in front of the Allfather demanding answers, but the man who had taken Asgard, who was powerful and quick and clever and not the child he felt.

And that hurts, too, to fight so hard but lose against yourself. To have so much emotion pushing and twisting and working through all the cracks of all the walls you thought you had built.

Less than a month and it's not been long enough - and he feels like he's falling again, drowning, choking, failing at the only things he was supposed to be good at.]

voice;

[hulk]

[ He doesn't even know Thor all that well, only a couple of conversations, but. Christ, he has no idea how to respond to this. ]

Look. [ And it starts off hard, but it gets chipped away slowly, and he's trying to be sympathetic - this guy's looking for someone he cares about, a lot apparently (only so far as he appears to be, remember). ] You can't be.

[ Words have never been his forte and this is damned near impossible. On the plus side, the anger that's been simmering is dying down now - not without a fight, but it's something. ]

Laying around isn't going to do anybody any good.

voice;

[godofabs]

Nor will throwing oneself into a wormhole. All is lost.

voice;

[hulk]

Well, sometimes that's the only way out, if you're cornered. If the situation gets to be that unbearable in the first place, then-- It isn't something you should go and just judge like that.

[rockstark]

[damn, he's taking this really hard. Tony frowns]

... M'sorry, Thor.

[see how earnest he is about it? he didn't even use his nickname for you]

[godofabs]

'Tis alright, Tony.

Thor

[rockstark]

[he'll just secure a channel here, don't mind him] I'm working on installing a security system for Jane's lab. I still have to run it by her - she's busy, I guess? - but Darcy knows.

[doyoufondue]

I don't think he'd want you blaming yourself. [ :|a or maybe loki would. he's not versed in lokiness. ]

[godofabs]

Or perhaps he would. He was an enigma to me, even in the end. Or did I know him at all?

[doyoufondue]

I'm sure you did. You're brothers. People don't change as much as you think sometimes.