Notice from Mr. Shinra

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

Attention: Members for dramadramaduck

This is a memo from Rufus ShinRa (written on the behalf of his assistant) announcing that he'll be on a 'hiatus' due to the fact that he was to go look for contracters and architects for the new ShinRa building. Also, it seems that it was released to the press that Mr. ShinRa is in fact alive and not deceased as they had printed before, so he will be attending a press conference in Upper Midgar. Mr. ShinRa would like to express his deepest apologizes (though noted: as much as an incestous son after he does his mother- that means a Mr. Kadaj) that he cannot be here.

Also, Mr. ShinRa has giving me the authority to answer any replies from this post mainly because he said, and quote, "If I read one more line by Kadaj. I'm going to shoot myself in the head listening to angry lesbians who cannot play their instruments."

Ms. Lockheart: Mr. ShinRa also needs to know where you want the bar so that he can clear the zoning permits. He says don't stop by and start stripping for anyone.

Reno and other Turks: Mr. ShinRa says if you're reading this you're getting a pay cut because you're not supposed to be at the office.

Renji: Mr. ShinRa would like to let you know that he is, in fact, blonde.

Kadaj: Mr. ShinRa expresses his wishes for you to choke on e-genitalia and die.

Comments

[dudeinred.livejournal.com]

The assistant sounds an awful lot like the man. I wonder.

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

I would beg your pardon? I am certainly not a man. >:|

[dudeinred.livejournal.com]

Never thought he was the kinda guy to take a break like that. Did you kill him and take over?

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

Sir. I am paid to do this. Mr. ShinRa is at a very important conference.

... *stares at avatar*

[stygian-destiny.livejournal.com]

...

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

He said that you would say that. I was instructed to respond with:

...

[stygian-destiny.livejournal.com]

...I see.

[slash-eye.livejournal.com]

Maa, normally being 'blonde' and supposedly a man is not a good thing. Nor is admitting to being naturally blond♥

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

... I don't think Mr. ShinRa would appreciate that. :|

[slash-eye.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid my hearing is going in my old age. Perhaps Mr. ShinRa can come here to voice his outrage?

[shinra-sucks.livejournal.com]

...you fucker. I know that's you, Rufus.

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

Please hold on. I may have to contact Mr. ShinRa about you. He told me that you didn't have the intellect to form sentences, let alone type. I do not know how to respond.

[shinra-sucks.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah? Well tell him to stock up on lube, because by the time I've finished with him he'll be totally fucked.

[ninelivesbaby.livejournal.com]

Aw, fucktard's just hiding.

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

Actually, Mr. ShinRa has instructed me to tell you to choke on Kitty Litter and die. He's given me an entire list.

Plus, I think he's on vacation.

[ninelivesbaby.livejournal.com]

...Kitty Litter? What in fuck?

And yeah, hiding on vacation.

[witchy-wuya.livejournal.com]

Hello Rufus...*Grin*

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

... Mr. ShinRa has not mentioned you on the list.

[witchy-wuya.livejournal.com]

Really now? How strange and after that drunk romantic interlude we had not too long ago..Perhaps I should break out the alchohol again?

[shinra-assassin.livejournal.com]

If you cut my check, some asshole's gonna shoot you in the head and I won't try stopping them.

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

Reno: Mr. ShinRa told me to instruct you that you were supposed to come with him. It was a free vacation to Gold Saucer. Why are you still here.

[shinra-assassin.livejournal.com]

Vacation? Why have I not been informed about it?

[xfinal-heaven.livejournal.com]

Somewhere in old Sector 2 would be nice 8D YOU'RE STILL GAY, THOUGH. DON'T THINK THAT THIS MAKES US OKAY. AND, I DON'T STRIP FOR JUST ANYONE. HOT DEMON-HUNTERS AND CEOS ONLY KTHX.

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

... Ms. Lockheart? Mr. ShinRa has instructed me to tell you to come down to the office and I shall give you your zoning permit.

[xfinal-heaven.livejournal.com]

...How do I know he isn't going to jump me?