dramadramaduck | [accidental video]

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mami tomoe

[accidental video]

[The video camera shows Mami's apartment--richly furnished but empty. Nothing but a few dishes on a glass table and the light coming from a sliding glass door are seen. Nobody's home. That is, until the noise of an opening door. Lights flicker on as someone flips a light switch.]

Mother, Father... I'm sorry I was out later than usual.

[Mami walks into the view of the camera. She doesn't look around and instead just puts her schoolbag near the table with a heavy sigh, looking a bit more ragged than usual.] I understand that I could probably have returned sooner but not tonight. It was busy.

[As Mami talks, she picks up the dirty dishes and moves out of sight of the camera. There's noises of someone putting water into a pot.] I believe I've made a couple of new friends. I'm sure you would have gotten along well with them.

I hope you weren't too mad at having a strange man in the apartment. He was very cordial, as you remember. I used your recipe, Mother. [Mami re-appears as she sets the table again: for one person.] Don't worry about me, I promise I've been taking care of myself.

[Mami sits down at the glass table, pouring herself a cup of tea. She continues talking to herself but the video cuts out.]

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Then I'll have something to look forward to.

As will I.

[Oh, right. Going to lead him to the table again and sit down.] The trail of a witch showed up not long after school got out.

...I assume you must have fought it.

[He sat down, sounding faintly worried.]

It's Grief Seed is in my bag.

[It's a confirmation. She sighs, though.] It wasn't that strong but it's cleverness... I'm lucky I didn't use too much magic on it.

Were you on your own?

I seemed to manage just fine alone.

Yet if I might say so, you seem a little tired.

Just a bit. It kept hiding it's real body in different points in the barrier. Fiendishly clever of it.

...My offer of assistance is still open at any time, you know.

I know, Lancer-san.

I realize you know that.

...But I worry you may never accept.

I realize you're being very generous. I'm very grateful for the offer and I've seen your strength firsthand.

[She pauses, reaching for her tea. She takes a drink.]

So I must apologize for my hesitancy.

You don't need to apologize. Maybe I should be the one to say that I'm sorry for being so insistent. I know some people would rather fight on their own, yet...I worry perhaps you would be better off with someone at your side.

It's not that I don't want to have anyone by my side. [Sakura, Kaname... Good girls, both of them. If only--but that's not possible, is it.] It's...I don't know.

I don't mean to sound like I'm pressuring you. Please forgive me, if that seems like the case.

It's not at all like that.

Then if you would allow me to ask, what is it that troubles you?

You're not a magical girl. [She feels stupid for saying it.]

...I see. And if I were to approach from a practical standpoint and explain to you the fact that few things separate a magical girl from a Servant?

Practically, there is no reason why not. Morally, however, is a different matter. It's the duty of a magical girl to fight witches. This is the deal they've made.

And it is the duty of a knight to protect those in need of it. That was the oath I swore as a child taken into the Fianna.

If this city is in need of help--no, more than that, if a friend of mine is in need of help, I can not stand idly by.

Lancer Diarmuid, I am truly sorry but I can't accept. Your skill is truly remarkable and a Servant could handle a witch, surely.

[Her words are steady, her eyes are focused on his face but her fingers grip her tea cup tightly and her hands shake.] A girl who has made a contract...that's who should be fighting witches.

...

[He reached over and lightly put a hand over one of hers, smiling sadly.]

Please. Even though I am no longer a magi...Give me but one chance, nothing more. I wish to fight at your side, Mami Tomoe. For your sake as well as all of those in this city.

This my duty.

[Her voice is generally calm. But she's looking away, her hands are shaking. She doesn't want to hear those words--she knows she'll relent if she does.

Her sense of duty, of trying to repent for her own selfishness is fighting her. One one hand she wants to have someone fight with her and on the other she can't allow someone who hasn't paid the same price go down that path. Kaname is different because she can still make a contract; Lancer never can outside of a virus.]

Magical girls from this world fight witches. We want miracles so we must earn them. [She's trying to calm herself but the shakes only get worse, creeping into her voice.]

Mami--

[A chill went up his spine at those last words. He'd traded away everything for the sake of a miracle; his freedom, happiness, and his pride itself had all been broken down in the search for a Holy Grail he could never have reached. And all the while he'd been insistent on fighting alone. Because suffering like that, fighting endlessly with nothing but his Master's happiness in mind...it was the only repentance for his own failures.]

[They really were the same. And it just wasn't fair that someone else had such a terrible existence, magical girl or otherwise. Worse still, it was too easy to imagine her ending up the same way he could have. Broken, destroyed, betrayed by everything they held faith in.]

[Or worse. Much worse, if her Soul Gem ever turned too dark.]

[Lancer looked away and directly at the floor for a moment, frustration turning his own trembling hands to fists. Why? Why was she so much like him and why couldn't he convince her to just listen?]

[Without a second thought, Lancer moved and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, his own voice clearly unsteady.]

Surviving only to suffer alone...how can you still call that a miracle?! Miracles aren't just as simple as surviving what should kill you or living when you should have died! If that was the case, then the fact that I still live and breathe is a miracle I did nothing to earn!

[He trembled slightly as he spoke, desperate to hide the anguish and pain in his own words.]

Seeing someone else in pain like I always was...I was looking for my own miracle, back then. And I never...I never found it. Not until I encountered the community and found people that believed I was worthwhile without dying for a wish that was impossible to grant.

I believe that...in all the worlds and all the universes spanning existence, the only miracle is that I'm not alone anymore. And now that the infinitesimally small chance of our two paths crossing has been achieved...neither are you.

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