[accidental audio/video]

[thats_brutal]

[The audio cuts in on the sound of two large doors being pulled open. There are a few muffled voices that stop as someone near the feed starts talking] Ooookay before we, ah... go out there... here are your Dethphones. [The darkness is cut by flickering firelight as the flaps of the box containing the phones transmitting the feed are opened, revealing an extremely dark and brutal room. Standing above the box is a bespectacled man in a grey suit and red tie. Charles smirks slightly as he points out one of the phones to the four men standing around the box] Here you go. There’s yours. [A soft chuckle as a man with long brown hair picks up one of the phones, revealing it to be covered in wicked looking spikes of various lengths with a chain hanging from the bottom]

I don’t know what dat is. [The blond man gives Charles a dubious look]

[Charles holds up an advertisement for Dethphones, with the five members of Dethklok standing around looking quite brutal under the blood red letters.] Don’t you, ah, remember making this deal?

[A man with red dreadlocks combed over his receding hairline shrugs] Nope. Were we drunk?

[Charles looks over at him, raising an eyebrow. honestly, did Pickles even need to ask?] Yes. Yes, you were, actually.

This is heavy. [The man with long brown hair holds the phone up to his face, one of the bigger spikes pressing into his cheek.] It hurts my face. Boy I really hates it.

Well. It’s, ah, your design. You may have been drunk but you made a very convincing case to me, so.

[A large man with long black hair points at Charles. Nathan’s voice is little more than a growl as he speaks] Alright. You know we get really really excited about really bad ideas when we drink. And it’s your job to talk us out of it, right?

[Charles’ eyes turn to Nathan, and he keeps his tone level, one eyebrow raised.] Oh I tried. I tried very hard but you all threatened to kill me, if you don’t remember.

So? Big deal. Dose threats aren’t new.

Mmm-hmm. Noted. Anyway, look. [Charles looks over the contract in his hands] You’re on the band plan and “weekend murder minutes” start at 11 PM. How do you like that?

[Nathan stares at Charles] Waitaminute nighttime minutes start at 11 pm? Oh that’s brutal.

Well, it was your idea.

[A voice comes from the other side of the bus] Well they suck. [pause] I approve.

[Nathan sighs and picks up one of the phones, stalking off to to the next room to grab a beer before that **** speech Charles was making him give. He glances down and sees... ducks. What the ****. He stops dead in his tracks.]

Charles. Charles?! [pause] Charles why the **** are there ducks on my phone?

((OOC: Red is Charles and Green is Nathan. Anything in Italics is the rest of the band. **** is a guitar-riff censored swear. Feel free to recognize the boys and have at it! :D))

Comments

[ninjamanager]

[he looks up from closing up the Dethphone box] ... I'm sorry, Nathan, what?

[thats_brutal]

[He turns, holding the phone up and speaking like he's talking to a two year old.]

Ducks. On. My. Phone. [Seriously, dude, does he really have to repeat himself?]

[ninjamanager]

Did you open the, ah, web browser? Maybe that's ... oh I don't know. Whatever Google's using for a gimmick on the homepage these days.

[cravats]

[Lyall does not recognize them, but he feels sympathy for the man in the suit. These... gentlemen... may be even worse than Lord Maccon.]

What an interesting design aesthetic.

[ninjamanager]

[wait wait what. there's an unauthorized person on his phone. Charles looks down at it and squints.]

Excuse me? I'm afraid you're going to have to identify yourself.

[cravats]

Professor Randolph Lyall. Welcome to the community.

[thats_brutal]

[Excuse him while he just hits buttons... repeatedly... to try to get his phone to stop doing weird things]

[mightletyouknowme]

None of that made sense.

[ninjamanager]

[welcome to his life. he's just ... going to be a bit of a troll and let Nathan deal with this for a moment while he tries to figure out where it's coming from ... don't mind him]

[makewayforroze]

Did you know you were being recorded?

[ninjamanager]

As a matter of fact, no. This is a restricted bandwidth, and I'm afraid until you provide me with a sufficient explanation why you have access to it, I'm going to have to consider your access to it an act of piracy.

[thats_brutal]

Recorded? What the **** are you talking about?

[voice]

[scanningutterly]

Dethphones?

[These guys must have been really drunk.]

[voice]

[thats_brutal]

Yeah. These are probably the most brutal idea in the history of... brutal... ideas...

[paaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuse]

Wait who the **** is this?

[dekillerqueen]

... "Weekend murder minutes"?

[thats_brutal]

WHOA! This thing talks, too?! [He pokes it, waiting for it to tell him how many murder minutes he has left.]

[ninjamanager]

Yes, it's a, uh, buzzword. I'm sorry, sir, but if you don't want to be subjected to either severe litigation or termination, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to disconnect.

[Video]

[spandexed]

Yeah, the ducks. Good luck figuring that out. Weird mascot choice, right?

[Video]

[thats_brutal]

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah. What the **** is it suppose to be, uh, mascot-ting...?

[Video]

[notmyfirstrodeo]

[This is one of the strangest broadcasts he's seen. That's saying something.]

Ducks are the least of your worries. Welcome to the community. It's decided it likes you.

[ninjamanager]

[oh thank God, someone who looks sensible. Charles glances down at his own phone - which is considerably less spiky and a lot more practical - and frowns]

"It likes you". That's a bit more ominous than I tend to like my social introductions.

[thats_brutal]

[oh great. Another jack-off in a suit. He sighs.]

Well I don't like it so how the **** do I get rid of it.

[ video ]

[second_star]

Ducks on your phone? That's brutal.

[ninjamanager]

Maybe so, through the right twist of the imagination. But, ah, you're still accessing restricted bandwidth. I suggest you disconnect immediately before we're able to complete a signal trace.

It ah, might be more beneficial to your health.

[ video ]

[thats_brutal]

What? How is that brutal? Ducks aren't brutal. Ducks aren't brutal at all. [froooown]