( video. )

[cattish]

[ shijima looks tired. she looks strangely old for her childish appearance, somehow. bitter. sad, and deeply lonely. she's also naked, apart from a blanket wrapped around herself. ]

Hello, community. I am an immortal creature. My existence is almost two centuries old. The only desire I have in this world is to die. And it seems that the community would kindly like me to know that the power that could have granted my wish is going to be lost forever before I can be released.

[ she doesn't sound upset. it's the same voice as ever, although perhaps a bit flatter. ]

Tell me how bad your day was. Maybe it has a chance of making me feel better about mine.

[ so sarcastic and scathing it burns. ]

Comments

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[owlcreation]

That is it, then.

[ there is the hint of a question in it. a hint of something else. a statement. a deep tiredness, even through words. a receded hope. part of him refuses, part of him will keep refusing. another part - death struggles over. holds down the well-waters of loneliness. encroached.

they've tried. he knows they have. his body would have bore the marks of it, if it could. his body would have never mended so cleanly, if something had worked. if something might have - but, the cogs turn. thoughts flicker toward solutions, untried. but it, too, dies. (unlike him. unlike her. unlike the passage of time.) he knows. he knows.

he knows. ]

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[cattish]

That's it.

I don't want to have to tolerate your existence forever.

[ she doesn't want to live forever. ]

[masked_god]

My last few months have been spent playing chess against sentient rocks with a penchant for exploding whenever they lose.

However, that cannot compare to your existence. I...I have lived an existence not unlike your own, and for that you have my sympathies. If there is anything I can do to make your life less painful, please tell me.

[makewayforroze]

What's happened?

[cattish]

If I haven't found something that makes it less painful in the past two centuries, I doubt it can be found now. I'm a creature that shouldn't exist in the first place. That I have to live forever is the last straw.

[cattish]

Simply, the boy with the power that could have ended my life seems to instead rid the world of that ability in the near future, thus dooming me to permanent immortality. How cruel, right?

That is, if the community's projections are to be believed.

Permavid;

[omnomsgods]

It wasn't that bad. [ Thanks for asking? ] But... why is it you want to die?

[anothersoul]

Such is the problem with wishes.

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[owlcreation]

Ha ha. How cruel.

[ there is no energy behind it. nothing. there is nothing, at all. he knows her wish. he knows his own. it hasn't changed, since the beginning.

but, there is a long pause before another text: ]

Do we lose sight of it being avoided, I wonder? Even if we must work blindly, to try is not new.

video;

[novicius]

Mine was... normal?

[A pause, and a frown.]

Why do you want to die?

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[cattish]

Our chances aren't good this time. If Miharu has made up his mind, there isn't much we can do. Who are we to argue against destiny?

[cattish]

I am a creature that should never have existed. Beyond that, I've suffered this planet and its dominant species far too long for my tastes.

[cattish]

Everything is unreliable; not just wishes.

Unfortunately, if there were another way, I would have used it already. There is nothing for me but the Shinrabanshou, and if she cannot erase me, I'm afraid I'll be very much doomed.

[cattish]

How nice for you.

Have you ever tried living for two centuries? It becomes tiresome long before the first hundred years. I shouldn't have existed to begin with, and I'd simply like it to be over.

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[owlcreation]

You are right. [ might as well file through some options. close them. ] The events that lead to Miharu-kun's decision are likely to be set in stone. [ giving themselves a little credit - after all, trying and failing to reason was always a possibility. he'd had a hope --

but, another text comes: ]

There isn't much left to do, huh.

[omnomsgods]

...You look human to me.

[cattish]

Of course I do. That's my choice, and it makes things much easier for me. Humans are so closed-minded, don't you know?

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[cattish]

[ it's funny. all of their failures and all of this time she's suffered - it's good for something. she would be having a breakdown right now, if she wasn't so used to the misery of their wretched existence. it hurts, of course, the despair is so deep and so overwhelming that it's like she's suffocating, and she's furious, but... in the end, they can't force miharu to do anything.

she feels like she shouldn't, anyway. ]

No, there isn't. I wonder, how do things like us spend the rest of eternity?

[omnomsgods]

Aa. And now you have to live with them more. I know- why not move to a place where there aren't any... or as many?

[cattish]

I think an eternity in isolation might be boring.

[omnomsgods]

What about with youkai that also have to spend eternity, uh, going about their lives?

[novicius]

Two centuries?

Dio, learning about the future itself was confusing enough. I cannot imagine living that long.

[cattish]

Well, I can't say I've ever met a youkai.

[ she can totally see where this is going. ]

[omnomsgods]

Heh~ you'd fit right in here! The Old Capital is known to not turn away people of all kinds! You can complain about humans as much as you want, too.

[cattish]

Mm. The future isn't confusing, because I saw all of the developments as they took place. But it's a terrible existence for someone who detests both life and humans as I do.