Pretty Butterfly (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
papillio_tempestatis) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dramadramaduck2012-10-27 07:54 pm
papillio_tempestatis) wrote in dramadramaduck2012-10-27 07:54 pm
Entry tags:
[Video]
[Welcome to the scenic countryside of the Agatean Empire. The video shows a rather interesting huddle in the middle of the road - a man in a travel-stained red robe and a pointy hat is lying facedown in the road, surrounded by a cluster of armored men, soldiers or guards, all of whom wear masks attached to their helmets that cover most of their faces. One of them has his foot on the apparent wizard's neck. Also standing in the road is a heavily-curtained palanquin carried by eight peasants, a cart that looks more like a cage, full of terrified-looking people, and a slightly confused horse that doesn't look quite like the ones belonging to the guards.
Of course, the perspective on this is a little wonky, since it appears to be coming from about waist height among the cluster of guards, just behind the man on the ground.]
[There is rather a lot of shouting going on. One of the guards is accusing the apparent wizard of having stolen a horse - presumably the confused one - and waving what looks like some rather dirty sheets of paper in front of him, and another is just generally shouting badly-put-together insults as the man tries to explain himself.]
If I could just expl-
Silence, mouth of—
You've used turtle, goldfish and what you probably meant to be cheese.
Mouth of chicken gizzards!
[A thin hand with long, lacquered nails emerges from the palanquin and gestures, and the guards shove the wizard forward and demand that he kowtow to the owner of the hand. He doesn't seem to understand, even after being threatened with swords. The perspective moves a little at this point, and it becomes obvious it's attached to someone directly behind the wizard, who leans in and addresses him quietly. The voice is disguised, sounding like a young man, but careful listeners may also note that it sounds rather like Butterfly.
There's a shift in the recording here; some anxious whispers from the people in the cage suddenly start sounding like they're in some tonal, vaguely Asian language rather than being translated, as the community switches from translating Agatean to Morporkian.]
Kowtow, please.
How?
You don't know that? Kneel down, press your forehead on the ground. That's if you want to be able to wear a hat again.
[The robed man takes the advice, quivering a little as he does so.]
That's better. That's good. How did you know you ought to tremble?
Oh, I thought up that bit myself.
[The guard with the papers slaps them across the wizard's face and drops them into his hand before going over to confer with the dignitary in the palanquin.]
Voice?
Yes?
What happens if I claim immunity because I'm a foreigner?
There's a special thing they do with a wire-mesh waistcoat and a cheesegrater.
Oh.
And there are torturers in Hunghung who can keep a man alive for years.
I suppose you're not talking about healthy early morning runs and a high-fibre diet?
No. So keep quiet and with any luck you'll be sent to be a slave in the palace.
Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad.
Remember to gibber and grovel.
I'll do my very best.
[The guard has come back to read something off a scrap of paper. Even if you don't understand the words, it's obvious it's some sort of poem. It's also obvious the guard is not very good at reading it. There is general applause and, after some prompting from Butterfly, the robed man joins in.]
Good. Listen. You're from Bes Pelargic. You've got the right accent, damned if I know why. [The robed man did have a different accent than the guards when speaking Agatean - but the attentive might note that it was, in fact, the same as Butterfly's.] It's a seaport and people there are a little strange. You were robbed by bandits and escaped on one of their horses. That's why you haven't got your papers. You need pieces of paper for everything here, including being anybody. And pretend you don't know me.
I don't know you.
Good. Long Live The Changing Things To A More Equitable State While Retaining Due Respect For The Traditions Of Our Forebears And Of Course Not Harming The August Personage Of The Emperor Endeavour!
Good. Yes. What?
[Things start happening quickly at this point. One of the guards kicks the wizard in the stomach, and he gets up on one knee - and suddenly bolts. For a skinny man in a long robe, he has an incredible turn of speed. He runs toward what could be charitably called a village, but the viewpoint is receding in the other direction; the confusion of the guards, used to their captives being much more obedient, covers Butterfly's retreat in among the rice field on the side of the road.]
[The video fades out here, and returns some time later, with Butterfly looking down at the journal, rather pleased with herself. The background is jolting rather considerably; neither the cart she's sitting in nor the road she's traveling on is very good.]
Well, that went well, all things considered. Though if that is the Great Wizard, this is going to be a lot more work than I thought.
((OOC: Plain text is Butterfly, italics are Rincewind, bold are the guards. Here's a proper canon start for Butterfly. Gently Push Over The Forces Of Repression!))
Of course, the perspective on this is a little wonky, since it appears to be coming from about waist height among the cluster of guards, just behind the man on the ground.]
[There is rather a lot of shouting going on. One of the guards is accusing the apparent wizard of having stolen a horse - presumably the confused one - and waving what looks like some rather dirty sheets of paper in front of him, and another is just generally shouting badly-put-together insults as the man tries to explain himself.]
If I could just expl-
Silence, mouth of—
You've used turtle, goldfish and what you probably meant to be cheese.
Mouth of chicken gizzards!
[A thin hand with long, lacquered nails emerges from the palanquin and gestures, and the guards shove the wizard forward and demand that he kowtow to the owner of the hand. He doesn't seem to understand, even after being threatened with swords. The perspective moves a little at this point, and it becomes obvious it's attached to someone directly behind the wizard, who leans in and addresses him quietly. The voice is disguised, sounding like a young man, but careful listeners may also note that it sounds rather like Butterfly.
There's a shift in the recording here; some anxious whispers from the people in the cage suddenly start sounding like they're in some tonal, vaguely Asian language rather than being translated, as the community switches from translating Agatean to Morporkian.]
Kowtow, please.
How?
You don't know that? Kneel down, press your forehead on the ground. That's if you want to be able to wear a hat again.
[The robed man takes the advice, quivering a little as he does so.]
That's better. That's good. How did you know you ought to tremble?
Oh, I thought up that bit myself.
[The guard with the papers slaps them across the wizard's face and drops them into his hand before going over to confer with the dignitary in the palanquin.]
Voice?
Yes?
What happens if I claim immunity because I'm a foreigner?
There's a special thing they do with a wire-mesh waistcoat and a cheesegrater.
Oh.
And there are torturers in Hunghung who can keep a man alive for years.
I suppose you're not talking about healthy early morning runs and a high-fibre diet?
No. So keep quiet and with any luck you'll be sent to be a slave in the palace.
Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad.
Remember to gibber and grovel.
I'll do my very best.
[The guard has come back to read something off a scrap of paper. Even if you don't understand the words, it's obvious it's some sort of poem. It's also obvious the guard is not very good at reading it. There is general applause and, after some prompting from Butterfly, the robed man joins in.]
Good. Listen. You're from Bes Pelargic. You've got the right accent, damned if I know why. [The robed man did have a different accent than the guards when speaking Agatean - but the attentive might note that it was, in fact, the same as Butterfly's.] It's a seaport and people there are a little strange. You were robbed by bandits and escaped on one of their horses. That's why you haven't got your papers. You need pieces of paper for everything here, including being anybody. And pretend you don't know me.
I don't know you.
Good. Long Live The Changing Things To A More Equitable State While Retaining Due Respect For The Traditions Of Our Forebears And Of Course Not Harming The August Personage Of The Emperor Endeavour!
Good. Yes. What?
[Things start happening quickly at this point. One of the guards kicks the wizard in the stomach, and he gets up on one knee - and suddenly bolts. For a skinny man in a long robe, he has an incredible turn of speed. He runs toward what could be charitably called a village, but the viewpoint is receding in the other direction; the confusion of the guards, used to their captives being much more obedient, covers Butterfly's retreat in among the rice field on the side of the road.]
[The video fades out here, and returns some time later, with Butterfly looking down at the journal, rather pleased with herself. The background is jolting rather considerably; neither the cart she's sitting in nor the road she's traveling on is very good.]
Well, that went well, all things considered. Though if that is the Great Wizard, this is going to be a lot more work than I thought.
((OOC: Plain text is Butterfly, italics are Rincewind, bold are the guards. Here's a proper canon start for Butterfly. Gently Push Over The Forces Of Repression!))
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Why doesn't the Empire like people travelling around?
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It is harder for the lords to control peasants when they can just leave for another town.
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... Oh.
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Exactly. I never said the Empire was nice.
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But then, that must also mean the wizard arriving in the Empire is a good thing, right? ... As long as he doesn't get into more trouble like he did just then, that is.
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[Afterward, on the other hand...]
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[Whether he wants to or not.]
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Well, if the Empire is as bad as it sounds, I hope it works.
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I don't think we were ever properly introduced, by the way. My name is Pretty Butterfly, and the community always insists on translating it for some reason.
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Your name's really pretty, though, even if the community won't let us hear how it's supposed to sound.
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[Butterfly still isn't used to people saying that. As far as she's concerned it's just a perfectly normal name.]
It sort of works if I focus on having it be in Agatean. I've never figured out how the community's translation works. But it's Jiá Xuan.