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[The webcam starts rolling with an eye pressed up to it; it's grainy and dark enough that details are difficult to make out, and the picture is striated with thin lines that scan down the iris like laser beams. In reality, this is a piece of shit webcam that was retrieved for 500 fat yen from an off-brand Akiba shop, but it's a setup. The voice pipes into the microphone from slightly below, hissy and noisy like the picture but deep with the tenor of a man just exiting adolescence.]

So, an internet nexus for multiple worlds, huh? Not something I'd believe until I see it with my own eyes, but hey, stranger things have happened... [It's like a switch flips when he realizes he's being watched.] Aha! This is Steins;Gate's offer for me to make my debut to the world! Not bad, not bad...

[Sure, Okabe. Whatever you say.]

[A slight whoosh hits the microphone as the figure pulls away, a tall, thin guy with mussed hair and a lab coat, posturing for the camera like a natural mad scientist. He has a grin on his face, a devilish look in his eye (because by God is he enjoying this), and a mess of wires, parts, and textbooks on the table behind him.]

Denizens of the multiverse, I am mad scientist Hououin Kyouma, come to discuss intellectual pursuits on behalf of the Future Gadgets Laboratory! [Cue evil laugh... and it actually comes. About ten seconds of hacking laughter ensue, and then a couple coughs before he's back to talking.] Upon being invited to this place, you all have... certainly piqued my interest. [He twists his face briefly, trying to think on his five-minute impression.] There's the Akihabara set, to be expected, then there's the terminally confused... and the few creatures - I will forever be mystified as to how they manage to operate computers without thumbs.

And to be frank, I'm curious on how a supposed nexus of multi-worldly communication manages to connect with parallel universes in the first place. Does anyone know how the backend is structured? Transporting data through black holes, perhaps? Weird space magic?

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You actually call yourself a mad scientist? Suddenly I'm having flashbacks to poorly made science fiction movies with bad subtitles.

[Okabe spies... a goth-loli questioning his schtick? Ah, nothing he hasn't dealt with before here! He smirks; time to pull out some (what he's sure is) Sparkling Wit.]

Well, with the advent of this particular network, how would you know you aren't seeing a window to my universe through one of those "poorly made science fiction movies"? Like one of those hidden camera flicks... [A quiet cackle.]

At least say you've created mutated tomatoes that eat people. That would be interesting.

[This gothic loli is not impressed at all.]

Wasn't there a movie about people-eating plants, though? That's so unoriginal. [Yeah, say it like your cliche isn't overplayed!] My lab's created things that shouldn't even be possible, escaped the terrible clutches of the Organization unscathed...

[The word interest strikes a chord - he raises an eyebrow before he goes back to being smug.]

Be careful what 'interesting things' you wish for - you never know who's listening, after all...

Hah...you're right. I hate unoriginal things. It's the mark of the old and feeble.

[She shrugs, with a smirk of her own.]

What, are you going to tell me that fairies or pixies are going to grant my wishes? And I thought you were a man of science.

See, that's it! Society gets nowhere without a willingness to break from simple theory - from words and rote rehashes of the same ideas! It's just as quantum mechanics was built on the charred remains of theories not borne out from evidence! If you're not willing to burn the old guard, you will get- [he points at the camera for effect-] ab-so-lute-ly nowhere.

And I speak not of fairies, but of spies. There are those who listen. [There's a sudden seriousness upon his voice - he's speaking from experience here.]

I was about to agree with your sound thinking about burning the old guard but then you started talking about spies. A mad scientist obsessed with conspiracy theories? Now I've seen everything.

As a mad scientist [and yes, the "mad" part is important], it's critical to examine each bit of data placed before you. Why dismiss that out of hand which you can test?

So you'd rather create these wild theories of spies?

... Mad scientist, huh.

[Jak looks disapproving.]

No, nobody's figured out how the thing works. Not the technical parts, anyway. "Weird space magic" sounds about right.

Indeed. [At least Ears Guy here understands! Sort of! The disapproving look flies directly over Okabe's head.]

Perhaps we should get someone to hack the damn thing and see how it ticks. [The muscles at the corners of his mouth twitch; he burns to do a mad scientist laugh here, but he quells the urge.] Mostly, I'm interested in the theory of parallel universes and how they interlock - even the greatest minds where I'm from haven't figured that one out - but finding out how to send data or matter between them might be a sweet bonus, too.

[Jak's just kind of got a personal beef with mad science. At least this guy doesn't seem like the making-super-soldiers-through-agonizing-torture type.]

I don't know, hacking might make it fight back. I think that was what made it send out actual computer viruses for once a while ago.

[Thankfully for Jak, and for everyone involved, Okabe's not really into agonizing torture. He's more the type to fight back against agonizing torture, and potentially get himself killed - guess he really is a "mad" scientist!]

[But then... viruses? He jerks back in surprise because WHAT]

Wait-- gah, you mean the thing is sentient?!

If it isn't it does a really good impression of it. With a lousy sense of humor, too.

[Oh good god, what's Okabe gotten himself into this time... He scowls.]

Is it possible there's someone behind the scenes pulling the strings, or is it clearly the work of the machine itself? --I only ask out of curiosity, of course.

If there's someone behind the scenes, they do a really good job of staying back there. No one's ever gotten any hint that someone besides the community itself is running things.

Would 'weird space magic' be an acceptable method?

[careful Okabe; how you respond will make her judge you on being a true scientist or not]

[Well, that's a question... He stops to think for a moment, stroking his scruffy chin with his thumb and forefinger.]

Maybe, but I'd need a more in-depth explanation, of course. Where I'm from, magic doesn't exist, but other places may factor it in just like we factor in the laws of physics. [A quick laugh.] And after all, what's the point in knowing how this thing works if we can't use the underpinning technology?

So, no, the words "weird space magic" aren't enough. Weird space magic itself may be acceptable, though.

I'll tell you exactly how it works at a price!

[ She doesn't know, but she wants to see just how far he'll go.. ]

[DAMN YOU EXTORTIONIST WOMEN]

[Fun fact about Okabe: he's broke, and by necessity a massive cheapskate. So, naturally, he balks a little, then hisses through his teeth. There's a possibility... but god damn it he's broke. And besides...]

What currency do I even pay other-world people in? Net cred?

[ She holds her hand up. At least he should know this much. ]

There's no such thing as money in the world I'm from, so cash isn't going to do anything. I just want cool swag so what're the maximum you'd be willing to give me. I can worldhop too, so don't worry about getting it picked up.

[He disappears off-screen for a few seconds, rummaging around his shelves for something he can pass off as decent, and returns waving a grey game cartridge and a book.]

A vintage Alpaca-man cart and a May 2010 edition of Singularity Today, and we have a deal-- wait, how'd you get the ability to world-hop?

I don't know what either of those are but I don't have the actual answer so it's fine, I just wanted to see what you were going to offer. I do actually have a worldhop though. I built it myself with someone else's blueprints. I'd direct you to him, but he doesn't have access anymore. There are a few people with worldhops, though I don't use mine to give people rides unless I really like them or owe them a favor.

[SCOFF.] Oh, so you were trying to play me! [And succeeding, buddy. He mutters something about extortionist women under his breath.]

[But far more interesting is the world-hop - a machine that can puncture universes to allow the tiniest observer to squish through! Absolutely fascinating. And dangerous. But fascinating.]

Do you still have these blueprints? ... And, pray tell, is there any reason this guy was banned?

Yes, no, and no.

[ At least she's straight-forward about it. ] I just borrowed the blueprints long enough to use atomic restructuring to duplicate the parts and people losing access is kind of random.

I didn't think mad scientists were supposed to call themselves that. Shouldn't you be saying something more like [he drops into a teenage impression of a cackling old man voice] "they called me mad, but I'll show them! I'll show them that they were mad for ignoring me!" [and back to his actual voice] or something?

Well I've been trying to figure out how it works since it showed up for me a few months ago but everyone has just told me it's magic.

Well, then, sounds like these people don't know how to get to the bottom of a phenomenon... [He cracks a devilish grin.] Aha! That means we, the curious, get all the spoils for ourselves!

Yeah! Since everyone has really accepted the magic reasoning when we do find out the real reason then we can really shine in the eyes of everyone else.

Nobody has any idea. [That doesn't mean they're not trying to figure it out and Marti hasn't give up but there's not even any clues.]

I can give you a run down of how it works if you don't already know but none of us know why it works that way.

Oh, and I guess a "hi" is in order. Marti Perkins.

I got the rundown a bit downthread, but the offer's appreciated. Shame no headway's being made, though.

Hououin Kyouma. [A lot of people on here go by their real names. Strange, for someone used to using tripcodes all the time. The lack of anonymity is a bit awkward for him.] Hi.

Who knows? Best advice I can give now is to be prepared for the not knowing. Viruses make it the worst but they're survivable.

You already seem to have a leg up. Most of us came in here with a collective "huh?".

Ah, I read about the viruses. [And he's not too happy about them, but what can you do? Apparently, this AI chose him. At least that's pretty neat?] So, changes in behavior or physical form can occur, but only for a few days... Odd, that this network can do that.

Important question: Do those from your own universe who've seen you under a virus' effect remember it after the virus is over? [He mutters off to the side:] Don't want any blackmail attempts...

Seems so. I've been lucky enough to miss most of them but they've always noticed I was gone during the trips.

So, plan a back up story. Step 1 is to minimize damage. The viruses go away but the stuff that came with them? Not so much.

Doesn't look like too much ground's been made since the write-up left by the last project head. Looking to take up the reigns, Professor?

Well, if there's a write-up, I'd much like to read it. Do you have a copy you could send me?

Sure thing. It looked like you knew what you'd gotten into, so I thought you might have already come across it, but it is a ways back.

It's already about a year old.

My money's been on weird space magic.

You want to be a mad scientist?

A friend of mine called this place a possibility vortex. The way she described, it seemed like a black hole for stories on some higher dimension.

A bit beyond me, I'm afraid. Good luck understanding it.

[Well. She normally doesn't comment to newcomers' first post because they're almost all the same, but every now and then one catches her eye. This time, a day late, what looks like a young girl in a strange poofy dress pops up on the screen.]

Not even I, the greatest witch in existence, and also the most <cute> and <pop> witch, know the secrets of this community! But I can tell you, it's got an entertaining sense of fun. It certainly doesn't bore me.

But it sounds like you know something already, don't you? Why else would you mention a mysterious ｢Steins;Gate｣? [She says the phrase with such gravitas that you just know it's in quotation marks.] Come on, spill already! Show this witch your mad science knowledge!

Edited 2013-08-01 00:40 (UTC)

[Why does this girl remind him of Faris so much? She's pretty cute, no lie... And she's even playing along!]

Ah, ah, I'm not sure your mind can handle the secrets of Steins;Gate's will... [And a mad scientist laugh bubbles from his throat almost instantly. Just. Give him a second.] Show me you can handle it, and I will reveal what I know of that which underpins fate itself!

Wooow! It underpins fate? Is it the will of someone on the level of gods, or something even more surprising?

I'm not sure I can handle something like that... No, there's nothing the greatest witch can't handle! Show me your test, and I'll blaze through it!

That's a pretty boring way to say hello. [Way to be nice.] Even if you know more than most people do when you come here, it's usually more fun to tell them about it, you know.

[...upon reading this...

natsume may have gone and grabbed her own costume and put it on, mask, a cape and whatever accessories she found laying around before she speaks.]

Foolish mortal! I can see right through that clever ruse! Or is it... not so clever?!

[no, she thinks they're just.... kinda... acting here...]

[Okabe backs up, fwishes his lab coat around his legs, and FUAHAHA! His voice becomes deeper, more theatric, booming through the tinny microphone.]

Mortal I may be, but "foolish" I am not, masked woman! A fool would flounder in my position, but I... [A grin splits his face that would look incredibly dumb head-on, but he's positioned so that the webcam only picks up glint.] I, Hououin Kyouma, have the world as putty in my hands!

[...?! what's this...?! no... this man he... he thinks to show up natsume when she's trying to be the most over the top here?! nay she says! at that she too stumbles back, a hand lashing out from her cape, pointing at him with every divine right she possesses!!]

You will have to get in line for I am the one that currently holds all the... [...excuse her as she reaches into her pocket with her other hand- and she tosses up a deck of cards.] ...cards here!

[...they flutter down all around her.] The world is already mine!

Welcome to the community, Hououin-sensei. No one is quite certain we can talk to one another, only that it is possible. I suppose, though, to that affect it is best described as weird space magic.

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vidya

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[voice]

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Video

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Video

vidya!

Re: vidya!

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video;

HELL YES VIDEO

this can only end horribly

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