1.0; Reboot: Kefka 2, Electric Boogaloo

[sandinmyboots]

I am going to die of boredom if this keeps up!

[Here is a little pale man sitting on a ledge of rock. Only a few smudges of light make it through the clouds to show off the scarlet paint on his face and fill the hollow cheek bones.]

[He picks up a rock and throws it into the dark abyss below.]

How am I supposed to have any fun if nothing's on the line? A video game is nothing like real life. Game over; new game; continue. How can anything be fun if no precious lives are on the line? Now that I know the true nature of things, what's the point in continuing this farce of final boss?

[Kefka hops to his feet and starts yelling at the abyss.]

If they don't come back, I'll - I'll play loud music in the middle of the night. I'll kill someone and dance on his grave. I won't mix patterns for a week! I won't wear any bright colors! I'll destroy this universe and everyone in it, then hop to another and blast Never Going to Give You Up from the loudspeakers for hours at a time! So help me, if the ducks don't come back, I'll -

[A worldhop device falls out of the sky and whaps Kefka on the head. Kefka squawks, almost wobbles off the ledge, then tumbles onto his butt, off the ledge and onto the rocky ground.]

Yeouuuuch! What nasty creature dares hit Kefka on the head?!

[He looks up into the camera, then grins.] Ducks! You're back! 

Comments

And plants are AWESOME.

[sandinmyboots]

The nightshade family is a very big family of plants, though. It has a lot of different kinds of flowers! They also make some foods, like chili peppers and potatoes. [om nom nom tomato]

I wonder. Could I make up a plant that is both potato and tomato? Or can I only make plants that exist in reality?

Use this power wisely. ;)

[twobloomsup]

You can create entirely new kinds of plant if you'd like.

[For example, Stanley will grow what looks like a miniature gazebo made of plant matter.]

get me off wikipedia, there's too many cool plants!

[sandinmyboots]

[Kefka snaps his fingers. A tree shoots up; flowers blossom, fall, then ripen into chili peppers. Kefka plucks one and bites into it.]

Yessss, the hot peppers. I could make a plant spicier than any pepper that has ever lived!

Not even a new thread and already the Thumb is giving Kefka more than he bargained for.

[twobloomsup]

You could make cold peppers too!

[...he doesn't have much experience thinking outside the box.]

i could use this for murder WAIT HOLD ON I CAN MAKE FOOD WITH THIS

[sandinmyboots]

No, no, not like hot on fire. Like hot spicy.

Wonderful edibles, like Megalixir corn!

[twobloomsup]

Oh!

[Pause]

I hope you don't feed someone a tomato that is really, really, spicy. That would be a surprise!

[Stop giving him ideas, you who doesn't have much imagination.

Yes, this mun is aware of the irony.]

or remedy flowers!

[sandinmyboots]

That would be terrible, wouldn't it? Especially since lots of spicy stuff can make you sick...

[Now that is an idea. Plants that look like one thing but are another. Plants spliced together. PLANTS!]

[But that's not much of a challenge, is it?]

I wonder if I could make a plant that would ferment on it's own...

Or Holy Water pink cauliflower!

[twobloomsup]

You probably could! Go ahead and try it.

[Kefka's going to be Greed's rival at this rate.]

NEON BLUE APPLES

[sandinmyboots]

[Snap!]

[A tree pops up, grows, blooms, and apples appear, then shrivel and fall off the tree.]

....Ok, that was not what I had in mind.

Tofu that actually tastes good!

[twobloomsup]

Maybe have another plant do the fermenting?

[He's taking shots in the dark here.]

THAT IS TRULY A FANTASTICAL BEAST

[sandinmyboots]

Maybe. Grapes do it, I think. But having the fruit ferment isn't quite the same as having the juice ferment into wine...

[...does stanley know what booze is?]

We can do it! We have the sufficiently advanced magic!

[twobloomsup]

[Not really! He's just trying to be helpful.]

I mean, having another plant help you out!

[Stanley applies his Thumb, and what looks like a stretchy vine wiggles over to the failapple tree and starts to pick up the shriveled apples.]

maybe it will taste like chicken!!

[sandinmyboots]

Oh! Can you make them living plants?

[Kefka watches with wide eyed interest.]

and have 15 essential nutrients!

[twobloomsup]

[Behold, Stanley has now made a bunch of smaller apple trees - that take their own apples off their branches and put them in a pile.]

Hello!

[And they talk!]

and can talk?

[sandinmyboots]

Waaaah! It talks!

Not if you don't want it to!

[twobloomsup]

Yep! We sure do!

Heehee, I guess I never showed you that, huh?

'my mother always told me never to eat anything that could talk back'

[sandinmyboots]

So you can create sentient life with this?

your mother is sensible

[twobloomsup]

[That is a term that Stanley has only heard like twice.]

I... think so? They can talk to you and do things without you telling them to.

I'm quoting Rizzo from the muppets!

[sandinmyboots]

Do they have minds of their own? Can they think?

Still true!

[twobloomsup]

[One of the trees shambles over to Kefka and makes to poke him.]

I'd certainly hope so!

[Another tree pipes up.]

I think you're being rather silly.

[sandinmyboots]

Just. For context, no being on this world is capable of creating intelligent life from nothing.

[twobloomsup]

[Stanley scratches his head.]

...you know, I'm beginning to think that I'm a little unusual among the community members.

[He only realizes that now, dear Ducks.

Yeah.]

[sandinmyboots]

The only being I've ever heard of that can instantly create intelligent life is a god.

[HAS KEFKA BITTEN OFF MORE THAN HE CAN CHEW?]

[twobloomsup]

[Depends on what food he grows. *rimshot.wav*

Stanley's eyes widen.]

I, I've never thought anything like that about my Thumb before.

Eh, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

[sandinmyboots]

I'm a god of magic, not a creator god. Even I couldn't pull this kind of thing off, and I'm one of the most powerful beings in the duck world. In some ways, you're more powerful than anyone else here.