1.0; Reboot: Kefka 2, Electric Boogaloo

[sandinmyboots]

I am going to die of boredom if this keeps up!

[Here is a little pale man sitting on a ledge of rock. Only a few smudges of light make it through the clouds to show off the scarlet paint on his face and fill the hollow cheek bones.]

[He picks up a rock and throws it into the dark abyss below.]

How am I supposed to have any fun if nothing's on the line? A video game is nothing like real life. Game over; new game; continue. How can anything be fun if no precious lives are on the line? Now that I know the true nature of things, what's the point in continuing this farce of final boss?

[Kefka hops to his feet and starts yelling at the abyss.]

If they don't come back, I'll - I'll play loud music in the middle of the night. I'll kill someone and dance on his grave. I won't mix patterns for a week! I won't wear any bright colors! I'll destroy this universe and everyone in it, then hop to another and blast Never Going to Give You Up from the loudspeakers for hours at a time! So help me, if the ducks don't come back, I'll -

[A worldhop device falls out of the sky and whaps Kefka on the head. Kefka squawks, almost wobbles off the ledge, then tumbles onto his butt, off the ledge and onto the rocky ground.]

Yeouuuuch! What nasty creature dares hit Kefka on the head?!

[He looks up into the camera, then grins.] Ducks! You're back! 

Comments

[sandinmyboots]

Humans, yes? Mostly Earths. Often great battles between good and evil, with morality defined clearly. Often people in their teens or twenties, often people from the Earth countries known as the United States and Japan, with a definite lean toward the supernatural and almost always in a time where literacy is common and both the steam engine and the printing press have been invented.

What do you think of that?

[It's a challenge. What can Kuja pull out of that pile of information? Will they realize the lean toward worlds that seem to have stories on them?]

It is pretty amazing, though the nature of the curse would show the skill of Lord Exotica. Are we talking one spell, Esuna, ba-da-bing done, or are we talking the full pulled into an alternate dimension to fight the monstrous essence of the curse deal? Or somewhere in between?

[fallen_stage]

I see... so whatever forces behind this community seek sapient people who have a common means of communication, and in many cases common cultural references, since those two countries on the same sort of planet is prominent. Similar technology, and -

[Kuja blinks, unsure they heard right. If it's true, then Kuja could not only be even more obscenely wealthy, but more importantly make a real name for themselves.]

Wait, did you say steam engines?

[If it's the fusion and magic energy on Terra, Kuja knows about it, but they don't know how to make a steam engine. It's like asking a metallurgist to do carpentry.]

Oh please, if a simple Esuna was all that was needed, Lord King would just send a servant down to get a Remedy. No, it was something more complex, involving the interference between soul and body, sapping strength and enfeebling the mind.

Fortunately, that is exactly my field of expertise, so that curse really didn't stand a chance~

[Bragging? You bet. Kuja liked little more than beating someone at their own game, especially among their hidden and cherished talents.]

[sandinmyboots]

Very good! And yes, they've got steam engines! Some of them are more advanced and use combustion engines that are fueled with refined oil, not to mention the electronic shenanigans they get up to! Have they told you about the Wikipedia yet?

[and and and and - ]

You're from a world like mine! Esuna, Firaga, chocobos and potions! Behemoths and malboros! A steady source of magic and perhaps a thing for crystals to boot! Am I right?

[fallen_stage]

Hmm, steam engines are still in development on Gaia; right now Mist engines are used. I might just ahead of the curve straight to electronic, since those could be easily powered by Thunder. No, I haven't heard of that; like an encyclopedia?

[Seems like Kefka is in a better mood, but it's rather uncanny how quickly he guessed the similarities.]

Yes, yes, all those things. I assume the Earths don't, or don't have all those things.

[sandinmyboots]

It's an encyclopedia of Earth information, current to the year 2014. Most people are a bit before that, and it doesn't have information on supernatural shenanigans. However, if you're looking for information on basic and widespread Earth culture, history and technology, it's the place to go!

[HE KNEW IT! Finally, someone else from the Final Fantasy series! Which, then, brings the problem - how to bring up that the two of them are from a video game series?]

[Not that Kuja could be from Kefka's world - there's no way. They'd have to know Kefka; his notoriety is too great for anything else. And Kefka would have heard about the kind of noble squabbles Kuja mentioned. So, then, is Kuja a protagonist? Or are they, like Kefka, on the antagonistic side?]

[...also their world is called Gaia, not Woolsey. So. Yes.]

No, they don't! We're in the minority. No chocobos, no Firaga, no nothing. They look at you funny if you mention fighting zombies. What's Mist? I'm from the world of Woolsey, not your Gaia place. Different universes of a similar nature, I figure.

a worldwide oeilvert: kuja's worst nightmare

[fallen_stage]

I'll keep that in mind. Better than interrupting conversations with "what"s and "why"s.

[Gaia, Terra, Earth... seems like all variations on "land". Not very imaginative. Probably some sort of intelligent selection that is also responsible for the other common factors Kefka mentioned. They've hit upon a good font of information from him.]

No magic? I can hardly imagine a place. There is one location on Gaia where magic is impossible, but I find it loathsome. Ugh.

[Imagine not being able to do magic! At all! Not even something as simple as healing a cut or picking something up.]

So it seems. Mist is a sort of vapor that's common to this main continent, aptly named the Mist Continent, that causes aggression, making animals into monsters. However, it also produces a lot of energy, providing fuel for engines. Because of that, there are no airships that can fly beyond the Mist Continent. There are rumors about a new airship in Lindblum having a steam engine, of course...

Well, if I had an electrical engine, I could make things progress much more quickly, and exploration of all of Gaia would become much more easy and popular.

fucking oilvert

[sandinmyboots]

You can get to it by clicking on this. It's formatted for Earth electronics, but it's worked on magical items before. I think it'll open up on a new page for you.

Does no one have a boat that can make it to the other continents? Can Mist be stored? What about taming a magical beast of some kind, given that they're usually more hardy than machines?

And you can usually bring your own magic to other worlds, so you're not completely out of luck! And I imagine you could barter something from your world for something from another's quite easily.

[fallen_stage]

Won't know until I try...

[Fortunately the interface is much like Earth computers: a new tab pops up on the projected screen from the hijacked notebook.]

I think i'll save that for later. Thank you, Sir Palazzo, for the invaluable resource.

As for ships, only seaships can sail past the Mist continent, since they can sail on the wind and tide instead of just engines. Mist cannot be contained for long, since it can be volatile: keep it in storage for too long and it will spawn monsters spontaneously. As for beasts, I can think of none that most people could train that would equal a mechanical engine.

So you see, a new engine would revolutionize the world. I imagine technology developed to make up for lack of magic in other worlds, so I'm sure I can find someone willing to exchange knowledge with. Why, imagine not being able to cast the simplest little Cure spell!