Delicacy 1

[dangerous_cakeboss]

Bonjour!

[The message was being recorded by a man in a bathrobe, with a glass of wine at his side.] What a wonderful day it is today, non? A certain je ne sais quoi as it were for the evening.

[He sipped his drink before continuing.] Now I know that you lovely people in this humble internet has all but discovered the wonder of the games. To which I reply, non! These uneducated ruffians who are plaguing our streets with their Invess Game has completely lost touch of the real battlefield.

But I, Oren Pierre Alfons, will in fact bring elegance and a masterpiece to the bloodsands! Ah yes, like the Roman Gladiators of old, the bloodthirsty people will have their due.

So please, watch upon my elegant transformation.

DURIAN!

[Without even moving from his chair, legs folded, he plugged the Lock Seed into his belt, and transformed.] DURIAN ARMS! MR DANGEROUS!

Ah yes, the battlefield will be joined, as I make certain these scoundrels are properly chastized in the art of war. Until then, adieu!

[Leaning over, he tried to flick off the camera, and scowled before de-transforming from Bravo into Oren.] Por que? Why on earth isn't this not working?

Comments

[yes_im_kawaii]

I don't get it.

[dangerous_cakeboss]

[Oren makes a face. The last thing he wanted to be was in some kind of newfangled skype call.]

Zut, zut, away with you little one, it is past your bedtime. I have no time in entertaining children at this hour!

[It's like 12 midnight in Zawame.]

[yes_im_kawaii]

Auu! I don't have a bedtime, I'm an adult! Besides, it's not even entertaining. All you're doing is going all "I don't like games because games are fun and battles are supposed to be like war, which no one likes, except maybe Kaitou sometimes because he started one because he got bored, and also my armour is a durian, which is a dumb fruit because it smells like the gas station."

[dangerous_cakeboss]

... That is the most nonsensical string of reasoning I have ever heard before.

I merely want to keep the amateurs to battle off the streets! Is that so much to ask?

[yes_im_kawaii]

So people are fighting for fun and you think that's bad so you want them to not do that, and that's why you became the gas station fruit.

[dangerous_cakeboss]

... c'est quoi ce bordel child! I am not a gas station fruit!

[Composing himself, he frowned.] The people would not be happy seeing complete newcomers. They must be honed, trained! It would be dangerous to let children play with powerful toys, non?

[yes_im_kawaii]

I'm not a border child! I've never even been out of the country! Probably. Unless other worlds count, and I say they don't!

Uh... so you just want all the people playing this game you don't like to be good at it.

[dangerous_cakeboss]

[Slowly, Oren facepalmed.]

That is not the meaning... you know what? I give.

I just want them to be certain they know what they are fighting for, not some childish Invess Game!

[yes_im_kawaii]

Auu. You should have said that to start with. What's so serious about this game?

[dangerous_cakeboss]

They flail about like untrained monkeys! Like the proverbial 100 chimps at a typewriter, they seek to make Shakespeare!

[yes_im_kawaii]

Chimps and monkeys are different things!

[dangerous_cakeboss]

I had not expected you to know about that.

How much do you know, young girl?

[yes_im_kawaii]

Lots! I'm an adult! Who knows science!

[dangerous_cakeboss]

Oh? Well I can appreciate a scientific mind. Tell me, how far in your studies have you gotten?

[yes_im_kawaii]

I made a chicken cannon. It was great. It broke someone's window.

[dangerous_cakeboss]

[And just like that, his impressed smile slid off his face.] Non, non, non, non! That is the most ridiculous thing in the world!

Dear girl, you are squandering the science for activités enfantines!

[yes_im_kawaii]

Auu! It was useful! What would you design instead?

[dangerous_cakeboss]

Useful? How could firing poultry be any use?

[He's avoiding the question.]

[yes_im_kawaii]

If you have enemies, you have to test ideas of what could hurt them. Same with the people you were going on about hating.

[dangerous_cakeboss]

[For a moment, Oren was about to state that was the most ridiculous idea.

But then, he paused for a brief moment. She... had a point. Testing ideas is the reason why people test things.]

That... is surprisingly sound logic.

[yes_im_kawaii]

See. Though I dunno if people you want to stop having fun would be weak to chicken. Even if it breaks windows.

[dangerous_cakeboss]

Having fun is not the same as fighting for real, la peche.

[yes_im_kawaii]

So you want to fight them?

[dangerous_cakeboss]

It's complicated.

[yes_im_kawaii]

Auu. Lots of things are complicated. But that's why you got your fruit armour, right?

[dangerous_cakeboss]

I was merely ejecting ruffians from my store. I took it as payment.

[yes_im_kawaii]

Uh... okay. And now you fight people with it, right? That's usually what people do looking like that. You look like a Rider.

[dangerous_cakeboss]

If only to show the battlefield what a trained professional can do.

[He arched his brow.] I have been known as Armored Rider Bravo.

[yes_im_kawaii]

So you went to school for this?

Is that the same thing?

[dangerous_cakeboss]

Non, non, I am French Foreign Legion! I am not the same as a Armored Rider.

[yes_im_kawaii]

So you're like the army or something... so you look like a Rider and fight like a Rider and you transform and start fights over ideals and all the stuff they do, but you're not one.

[dangerous_cakeboss]

I must admit I am having trouble following your train of logic...

[yes_im_kawaii]

I don't get it either. I guess that's why you said it was complicated.

[dangerous_cakeboss]

Mon dieu!