[Greetings, ducks! It's been a while, hasn't it? And your incoming video is...upside down.]

To the people who decided to tilt all the picture frames at the EMC--nice try, but not nearly enough.

THIS is how you troll an entire building full of government employees--change the rotation on most of the monitors.

[And now, there is yelling. Lots of it.]

Now, if you'll excuse me...

[Jin promptly high-tails it out of there, angry mob of government employees behind him.]

The ball on Sunday was pleasant enough, but I can't tell if I really enjoyed it. Many of these high class manners can become so overbearing at times, and all I wanted to do was escape.

So I did. For a time.

I must remember never to mix opiates with whatever they're serving at those pubs near the docks.

So, I'm holed up somewhere while we de-puree my partner-in-crime's brain. Thanks again, Yayoi, for the help. M'gann really needs it, and it gives us both a break once in a while.

Going by the community's calendar, it's almost Valentine's Day. It passed a while ago for me, and I'm really hoping that I don't have to spend the next one away from my valentine.

What about you guys? Plans? Or are you just going to treat yourself to the chocolate?

[Today's post is brought to you by a blank screen and a ranty voice. Looks like someone was pissy enough to turn off his avatar.]

So, anyone remember Zombie Mall from three years ago? Turns out they just got a KFC. Which makes no sense, but whatever. And I found out because I was going through my locations on my worldhop so I could get a nice big bucket of chicken for my caveman friend because I totally have a caveman friend and I'm still not entirely sure if that Kiwi is teaching him right and also chicken is delicious and I was going to bring three of those home.

So, anyway, I hit the wrong location and ended up at Zombie Mall's new KFC instead of Amber Beach's KFC. Ignore for a moment that Amber Beach and Zombie Mall are on opposite ends of the alphabet. Naturally, when I realized where I was, I started to try to worldhop right out again, but a zombie poodle got in, so I hid in a nice, high place away where it couldn't get in.

I just spent the entire weekend and half the week stuck in an airvent at Zombie Mall. And I do mean stuck--my worldhop fell out of my back pocket when I got up there, and when I tried to reach it, I managed to get my arm wedged in-between the wall and my ass.

Now, I know what you're going to say, "But Jin, you're an avatar--you can just switch off like you did right now." Well, here's news for you: Zombie Mall don't care. Finally managed to hop out of there, but I'm sore, angry, and I don't have chicken.

Kendall say, we celebrate my first Thanksgiving. What is Thanksgiving?

I look it up. It say, hunt turkey.

So I get my spear.

Kendall try to stop, and Chase bring out big cooked bird.

Was tasty, but like food more raw. Kendall said that it was food safety. What is food safety?

Look what I made!

[The video flickers on to Makoto lifting a bronze-painted... is that a NERF sniper rifle? Clearly it used to be, although aside from the paint job, some lumpy welding spots and a cobbled-on tactical rail with a laser pointer mounted on also indicate that Makoto's been doing some work.]

I got really bored because we don't have anything to fight and school is dumb, so I started trying to figure out what all I could make with some stuff from the store. You all get to see how far this thing can shoot! Check it out!

[She moves the camera so that it shows that she's set a target up all the way at the other end of the hangar, past the Buster Machines. Makoto steps forward, raises up the rifle, looks through the scope with her makeshift laser aiming attachment turned on, and fires.

...and immediately whacks herself in the face with the gun.]

Ow ow ow! Auuuuu! That's not supposed to happen, just... This is testing! Don't make fun of me!

So I've got the local qualifiers coming up and... I don't know if I can pass them?

My team is solid, but I feel like my Gunpla has been lacking.

I'm trying to find inspiration somewhere, but it's been so hard lately.

Anyone have any ideas of what I can do? I'm using a Unicorn Gundam as a basis but I dunno...

Mon general, the Vorlons and Shadows were routed from Zawame City, and I have successfully defeated God himself!

The battle took less than expected. It was almost like someone was expecting a massive invasion of alien life!

And that GORGEOUS White Armored Rider showed up! Ah, what bliss! He gave me presents too!

Bonjour!

[The message was being recorded by a man in a bathrobe, with a glass of wine at his side.] What a wonderful day it is today, non? A certain je ne sais quoi as it were for the evening.

[He sipped his drink before continuing.] Now I know that you lovely people in this humble internet has all but discovered the wonder of the games. To which I reply, non! These uneducated ruffians who are plaguing our streets with their Invess Game has completely lost touch of the real battlefield.

But I, Oren Pierre Alfons, will in fact bring elegance and a masterpiece to the bloodsands! Ah yes, like the Roman Gladiators of old, the bloodthirsty people will have their due.

So please, watch upon my elegant transformation.

DURIAN!

[Without even moving from his chair, legs folded, he plugged the Lock Seed into his belt, and transformed.] DURIAN ARMS! MR DANGEROUS!

Ah yes, the battlefield will be joined, as I make certain these scoundrels are properly chastized in the art of war. Until then, adieu!

[Leaning over, he tried to flick off the camera, and scowled before de-transforming from Bravo into Oren.] Por que? Why on earth isn't this not working?

So magic people.

How do you dismiss tentacles that keep popping up when you were a kid?

I mean, I keep summoning them whenever I need a hand. It's like instinct now.

No I don't mean for THAT.

I just yeah. It's kind of distracting when you're reaching for a pot and a dish at the same time, and you're summoning tentacles like you were 10 again.

Chase... teach me new thing!

Is called photobucketing.

... no wait, is called Photobombing.

He told me, that whenever someone holds up a camera, I need be in shot.

Is okay? There are much I have to learn right now.

Oh also, I have new hat!

[And he holds up the boxers from Ryuji which he wore as a hat.]

Is okay? Miss Kendall say... it silly. Chase approve.

Also, Chase talk to weird man on metal horse. He had... little emotion?

Is anyone here good at stealing things? Can you give tips or something? Because I'm not stealing things... but I'm stealing things. But it's for a good reason, so you shouldn't get all upset or anything.

So how do you not get caught?

Why are there swords on the EMC Roombas.

And why do I even care...?

Ryuji has already stubbed his toe on one of them. Fortunately it was blunt.

[There is a bird in a throne room here.

It's definitely a throne room - although most throne rooms don't have giant mushrooms growing and large crystals and plants next to the lights, there is a very nice throne in the middle of it. So it's a throne room.

It's probably a bird. Though most birds don't wear crowns or fancy robes. And most don't talk.]

His Royal Highness, the King!

[Trumpets play. It's not clear where from.]

Hello, I am the King.

[The King clears his throat.] This is a very strange thing. There are not usually computers on the Holiday Star. The King does not understand how this one got here. The King is very worried that scarier things than computers might suddenly appear.

But, it is nice to see people from far away. The King is very busy on the Holiday Star and cannot travel. The King would like to say hello to everybirdie.

...There aren't many birdies here, are there? Very strange. Very, very strange. The King would like to know why, if that is okay.

[The message ends soon after - apparently the King does not have any trouble operating a computer with wings.]

( Cut for length and oblique references to canon attempts at suicide/self-sacrifice )

So. There's really no point in trying to talk me out of this, since it's honestly the only thing we've got left to try. Either I die, or I let a 20-year-old kid with his whole future ahead of him bite it. Or the entire world ends--there's that possibility too.

Right now, I'm backing myself up--what's left of my data, at least--onto J's systems. I haven't told him, though, because there's no possible way I'm going to be able to have enough room or power to save all of myself. Best-case scenario? I'll be able to save my data, but just the act of manifesting my avatar is going to force a system reboot and wipe everything all over again.

And that's where I need you guys. I know I'm probably not the most beloved here, what with trolling Kaitou and doing stupid stuff all over the place and all the conceit and everything, but...if you can provide me with enough storage power across the community, I can build a permanent backup so that I don't die here. So that if my plan doesn't work, there's still a way I can help my team defeat Enter.

I'm not going to hold it against anyone who says no. Hell, I'm still kinda kicking myself for asking--I know just how cowardly I sound, trying to save my own skin because I'm so afraid of dying. But I'm not looking for eternal life or anything. I just want one last chance, so I can be sure everyone I love is safe and the sacrifice my friends already made isn't in vain.

So...thanks, everyone.

With all this talk of wars, politics, and diplomacy, the community has been making me feel very nostalgic these past few months. Even as a soldier of the Vatican, I don't do a great deal of fighting - at least, not the sort of fighting I used to do in the past. And I'm certainly not a politician here, or on Lisa's Earth.

In April, I asked how many of you remember my world. Not many of you did, of course; it's been a long time. Today, though, I have a different question: how many of you would consider yourselves to be a leader of something?

I was gonna die once, supposedly. I dunno why I didn't since I came here. Maybe I still might. Just because of a stupid wish. Can't I make a wish to save everyone here instead? Hiromu has that thing in him. Jin still doesn't have his body. Our dumb enemies just keep coming back and I don't even have any powers besides hitting people with pots and pans.

I wanna go back there and change my wish.

Auu.

[Dirty Little Secret virus! ...last day of grab bag, first post of grab bag, wooo.]

Inventing stuff is hard. I finally get to do it and none of these are working... I can totally do it, really! But, uh, can somebody look over these anyway?

[Attached are various scrapped designs, drawn out on scanned-in graph paper and recorded on video with K'nex replicas, for a vehicle-mounted cannon that shoots KFC. ...Saying there's context really wouldn't help.]

[Greetings, community. You have a beautiful alien woman staring at you. If it was that kind of sci fi premise, you might be in for a fun escapade.

However, this is NOT that kind of sci fi premise, and she is looking at you like she's not going to take any bullshit.]

This is Ambassador Delenn of the Minbari Federation, aboard the White Star. I have received your transmissions, though your identification code is unknown to us. Please identify yourselves and explain how you have accessed our channels.