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So this is what the kids are all using these days, hm? It's no wonder everyone around here has been so preoccupied with their little gadgets. Too preoccupied to chat with their own mother.

[She sighs dramatically before shrugging, obviously she doesn't actually care.]

Before I get ahead of myself, I'm Kyrie Ushiromiya, Battler and Ange's mother. Now I am going to need to hear every story you may have about either of them here - you know, to get caught up on all I've missed.

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[ Having never had to have ever met the parent(s) of anyone she's ever dated before on account of not having had relationships before, this is a first.

Time to play it cool. Yuri raises her hand up in a "stop" gesture. ]

I'm not legally allowed to say most of them. [ A pause. ] And some stories involving Ange either, actually.

[ She puts her head down, tilting her head. ] I'm Yuri. That or Yurippe are fine, though if it's a family pattern thing you'll probably end up going with just Yuri.

Let's make it a family pattern.

Now, did you two do something illegal? I'm hip.

[ Maybe just being honest is the best policy, but "I got Ange drunk once and I've been in my underwear with both of them" probably isn't the best thing to say to their mom, right? Definitely not. ]

Nothing illegal. I mean, I kicked Battler off of a building once but I saved him right after..

[She wouldn't mind at all...]

Hmm, how tall was it?

[ She has to think for a minute. That was a long time ago. ]

Oh, it was the chapel. He followed me onto the roof and we were talking.. [ That was the first conversation they had about love wasn't it? Battler being all stupidly corny and Yuri refusing to hear anything about it, then.. ] He made groping-hands at me so I kicked him.

Then you were in the right - there wasn't any need to save him, either.

Well I might be in trouble nowadays if that idiot had splattered on the ground that day.

And why would that be? Is he really good for something?

One or two things, anyway.

[ Yuri's idly playing with the ring on her finger. ]

So? I shared a story, now it's your turn. I want dumb childhood stories or really embarrassing photos of him if you have any.

Unfortunately I don't, only a few recently things along the same line. It's exactly why I asked for any stories, actually.

In which case, allow me to tell you the full story of Battler Ushiromiya since his communication with the Duck Community. Basically, he's an idiot who kept harassing this girl to the point of stalking even after she rejected him 50,003 times. There were lots of viruses and he cried a lot and she was kind of an idiot too so she kept putting up with his crying so he kept hitting on her even more. Then his sister showed up and the girl was friends with his sister too. All the Rokkenjima stuff kept happening and Battler's an even bigger idiot because he's totally in love with the other idiot girl who happens to be dead so there's no way it's going to end well, but we're enjoying it while it does.

Also, he snores. [ Not really, but it's better to insult him than say this like a normal person. ]

[She laughs, finally some really good teasing material!!]

He does cry a lot. But apparently death is irrelevant if you're the 'Golden Sorcerer', so maybe he's not such an idiot, for once.

Sorcerer or not he's still a moron.

[ Yuri has absolutely no doubts about that. She just happens to like morons. ]

Oh, of course. Just a small lapse in character makes a good idea once in a while.

Just every once in a while. He's got me to smack him upside the head the rest of the time though.

Good, a levelheaded woman to keep him in line is exactly what Battler needs.

I should get a recorder and make you say that again so I've got proof that someone thinks I'm level-headed.

Just contact me any time you need someone to back you up, I'll say it as many times as I need to.

I guess I can skip the phase you always hear about in the movies of trying to get the parents to like you. You were looking for stories right? Any kind in particular? [ AKA Yuri's decided she'll spill at least a couple, she seems to like Kyrie so far. ]

The step-parents don't count at all, it doesn't matter whether they approve or not!

But, well, let's see... Certainly anything embarrassing, has he done or said anything corny?

Isn't everything that comes out of his mouth that isn't about breasts, gameboards, food, chess, or serious business corny?

[ She's exaggerating and she knows it but she doesn't want to repeat half of the corny things he says!! ]

No, that's not right at all.

Everything that comes out of his mouth that isn't about serious business is corny.

Well we know that's not true. [ A beat. ] Sometimes he's cheesy.

[ Along with cuddling and loving and thoughtful despite being a moron and caring and determined and a million other things she thinks about him that she won't say outloud. Only allowed to talk about goofy things. :T ]

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