I would like to request your advice, community. Of those of you who deal with... admittedly strange people on a regular basis, what is the strangest thing they've ever done that you have had to help with, even though you disapproved of it? What did you do in that situation?

...furthermore, does this situation you were in compare in any way, by level of strangeness or otherwise, to a certain somebody holding public auditions in a talent show format in order to search for additions to her harem?

[ alviss is in a pretty recognisable outfit, and going by the look on his face, he seems to be pretty confused by it. enjoy his biceps. and enjoy his weird red tattoos again, which you can now see even cover his chest in the form of a strange flame shape. also, there's a fairy asleep on his shoulder? cute. ]

Is this supposed to be a virus? I don't get it at all. They're just clothes. [ he plucks at the tunic. ] Weird, but not really that bad... I guess it's typical of the community for this to still be an annoyance, though. This had better be over soon. I wanted to make sure that I had longer sleeves on by the time I get to Reginlief...

[ he cringes, uncomfortable, but quickly shakes his head. ]

The War Games are starting in just a few days. It's going to be even less likely that I'll be able to spend any time on the community at all, so don't be surprised if it's a while until anyone hears from me again. And... [ sigh. ]

I don't intend to die, but it can't be said that that's not a possibility. I'm only warning everyone that I might not come back from this war. I can't be sure of anything yet... except that I won't lose easily.

[ ... ] Does anyone know why it's clothes?

[ unlike most posts going up on the network today, "Alviss" doesn't seem much different, at first. somewhat uncomfortable, perhaps. annoyed, definitely. but not so different. ]

This was not what I expected upon waking up this morning. [ a short sigh. ] Community, this is Arturia Pendragon, also known by the class name Saber, speaking. It would seem that the latest virus has also struck myself and Alviss. [ frooooown. ] I must admit, it is... somewhat irritating, suddenly being trapped in another's body.

In any case, I have one or two messages. First of all, Yu, if you see this, I am fine. Please care for Alviss as long as he is with you. If this virus is like the rest, it should not last longer than a few days.

Secondly... Alviss, could you get in contact with me as soon as possible? There are some things you should know about the abilities you currently possess, as well as your current situation. I have some questions for you, as well.

Thirdly... do we have a comprehensive list of whom has swapped with whom? This situation may be far easier to manage if that becomes the case. Thank you for your time.

Hey, guys. Sorry if I've been mostly absent for a while--it's been really busy here. Also, I got kidnapped. Well, turned into a statue once and the other time, held hostage by the Psycho Rangers very recently.

The Psycho Rangers? Well, they're an evil Power Ranger team that had faced our predecessors, Andros, TJ, Carlos, Ashley, and Cassie. They thought that they'd defeated them, but Trakeena managed to find what was left of them and brought them back. And they were strong. I mostly had to fight Psycho Pink, but they captured most of us. They would have gotten Leo too if Andros hadn't figured out everything that was going on and came all the way from Earth to help. And then Alpha called in the other Rangers! It was amazing. Cassie--the Pink Ranger--fought with me against Psycho Pink. We've never really had something like that before--we've been completely on our own trying to figure this out as we go. Andros was fighting for years before he joined his team, and they'd been Rangers on another team before that. But they had nothing but kind things to say about us.

Sorry if I'm rambling. I'm still excited about everything that happened. They're sticking around for a few days, since they wanted to see how the colony turned out. And we plan on introducing them to the Galactabeasts, so that'll be fun.

[Orlando is still in his Thargor sim, looking a little...exaggerated somehow, but otherwise okay, and still completely real in that way the Otherland system seems able to make things. It's night where he is, a dim golden glow being the main source of illumination. He seems to be leaning against a massive wooden pillar. Next to him, a smaller robed figure is curled up in sleep.

Orlando begins to speak, his voice pitched low so as not to bother his sleeping companion.]

Hey, community. I thought...I should tell you guys some things, in case we can't find the others, or if- [he stumbles over the words for a moment, but then presses firmly through] if we don't make it. I know you probably won't be able to get anything to my world but...a record somewhere is probably a good idea, right?

[He takes a deep breath.] I think I've figured out what the Grail Brotherhood- the people who made this network- are doing. What the point behind this is. They want to become immortal. If they can copy themselves into this system, they could basically be gods, forever.

[He turns away to cough, and pauses for a moment before resuming.] And that means that people who kill anyone who gets in their way, who are letting kids die just so that maybe they can get more time, could stay in power forever.

We're going to stop them. [He doesn't seem too sure of that, though. In fact, he mostly just seems tired. He reaches out a hand towards whatever is recording him, and the video ends.]

Dear book-people,

I believe I have found a way to escape my library. I'd like to thank you for all the advice you've given me...though I'm afraid my solution is fitting with this world, rather than the more active suggestions you have made.

It will involve the potential burning of a book.

Do you think that is alright? To destroy a work, no matter how vile, just for my own sanity?

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

Marianne Zahm-
Under Assistant,
The Library
Chaos: 374 Order: 909

[ what the video opens up to is a weird group. alviss is standing there and staring down a blonde kid and a metal ball with a face and a moustache. in the background is a weird bird in a cage and a very angry fairy. you're allowed to be confused, but they appear to be in the middle of a very serious argument, and the blonde kid looks kind of roughed up. ]

That's enough. I have an idea of your strength. [ alviss turns dead serious suddenly. he holds out his hand expectantly. ] Now, hand over Babbo.

[ the blonde kid is not happy. ] Don't give me that crap! Why do I have to give you Babbo?!

Because it must be destroyed.

(  alviss promptly beats the hell out of a young boy; cut for length  )

[ the boy collapses face-down on the ground, unconscious. alviss stares at him in silence, and he jerks in shock when babbo speaks up next - ]

A great moon... A night like this would be a fine night to die. [ babbo turns to alviss. ] I won't resist, so just destroy me! But if you lay another finger on Ginta, I'll haunt you! ... He's not my friend. He's my escort. And I don't desire to live over my escort's dead body. I'm a gentleman, after all.

[ you don't get to see alviss' reaction, or what he chooses to do with babbo. you get nothing. the video cuts out there. ]

[ bet you thought you wouldn't be seeing this particular account name again.

oh, ye of little faith.

her surroundings may be different, from what little can be made out of them over her shoulders; they look suspiciously like a normal teenager's bedroom, in fact. maybe one that some of you recognise. Saber herself is dressed much more casually than she has ever been before; no armour, no dress, no suit, just a white t-shirt paired with a brown cardi. very average-looking. but otherwise, she looks much the same as she ever has. ]

Hello, community. I apologise for not letting you know of my whereabouts earlier, but the past few days have been more hectic than I would have expected. But please rest assured, I am completely fine, in no small part thanks to the efforts of others.

[ it's not a complete lie. she's physically fine, at least. ]

I need not say, I hope, that the Fourth Holy Grail War has ended. [ her expression tightens for a second, there, with worry and something like frustration. something smaller behind that like regret. ] I realise some of you may have questions about what has transpired in the past week, and I will do my best to answer them if I can.

[ she knows some of the events were broadcast. the events, and part of the aftermath, apparently; she made sure to go through the community and get up to speed. which is partly what leads to her next question: ]

Relatedly, would I be able to trouble anyone with a request for a world-hop? There are... a few things that I would like to check up on, if I may. Thank you for indulging me.

I feel so incredibly relaxed by now.

[Where's Kaitou? In a certain beach that he was told about. He's on a deck chair, sipping drinks and reading a book on a kindle. He looks incredibly relaxed, and even though his DiendDriver is in arms reach, you can tell he's not expecting any trouble from the locals who were all monsters in the background.]

This is a pretty good place to visit, considering everything. It's quiet, private, and it's got a lot of things to see. Kabuto World was a half-hearted attempt at being a good guy. I think I might need to go heist something.

[Peering over his shades at the kindle, he noted the duck in the corner.] Oh hi community. Having fun on your early spring days? It's summer where I am.

While I've got you on the hook, I was wondering if there was anyone who wanted me to pick up stuff for them. I'm acting like a tourist right now and I feel like relaxing lately. And somewhat generous.

So this is what the kids are all using these days, hm?  It's no wonder everyone around here has been so preoccupied with their little gadgets. Too preoccupied to chat with their own mother.

[She sighs dramatically before shrugging, obviously she doesn't actually care.]

Before I get ahead of myself, I'm Kyrie Ushiromiya, Battler and Ange's mother.  Now I am going to need to hear every story you may have about either of them here - you know, to get caught up on all I've missed.

Unlike last time, this time I have control over this thing. Wild, isn't it?

So you get a video on purpose...isn't that the most fortuitous thing?

Actually I'm a little reluctant to show you this because it's embarrassing and I don't embarrass easy...but it's also been a long time since I've laughed so hard. Being able to laugh is important, I think it outweighs embarrassment so I'll go ahead and show you...

...Just remember I'm much better looking than the kid in this video. Don't forget that. It's very, very important that you remember that. I was so damn good looking in my day they wanted me to get married out of fear for their own wives and daughters. So devastatingly handsome...

If we understand that then here:

( video )

[ should you choose to play this video, you will find that it is nigh-impossible to see anything through a combination of static, darkness, and fog. eerily glowing fog. fog shouldn't be glowing a sickly shade of purple, right?

you can hear the sound of water sloshing against something. something very large. something-- oh dear god in heaven WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT.

whatever it is and however many nightmares it will soon be giving you, if you look past the writhing tentacles, you will see Saber in her full armour, somehow defying physics by standing on the water of the river itself to face the thing. compared to the grotesque mass in front of her, she is tiny. but the sword in her right hand glows with an impossibly brilliant light, gold and warm and seeming to carry every hope you have ever even half dreamed of becoming reality.

she raises the sword above her head with both hands and closes her eyes, concentrating. you may wish for some appropriate background music.

somehow, impossibly, the light from her sword gets brighter and brighter, gold motes rising like dust from the river, the grass, everywhere in the surrounding landscape to join the light from her sword until it is too blinding to look at. ]

[ and softly, whether though some will of the community or some other magic, the voice of a young woman can be heard. ]

"It shines. That sword is the dream all warriors, past, present, and future, hold as their deaths approach. A sad, exalted dream. She carries their will as her pride, bidding them to remain steadfast in their loyalty. Now, the undefeated King sings aloud the name of the miracle she holds in her hand."

[ as if on cue, Saber's eyes open, and she stares resolutely at the monster in front of her. the golden light - energy - flares around her, making waves in the river. she takes one, two steps forward, and-- ]

EXCALIBUR!

[ she brings the sword down, and the beam of light comes with it, displacing the water and the fog around it in a chaotic spray as it rushes towards its target, blinding--

the light flares, and the feed ends.

what the hell was she doing using that particular sword. ]

[shinji breathes into the microphone, static erupting through the speakers in short bursts.  he sounds as if he's been pushed past the verge of tears and onto the brink of absolute panic, but he has to do this.  he has to.]

Kaworu-kun...he's gone.  It was strange that he was gone so early this morning, but I didn't think about it.  Now it's been hours and he's not back.  I called his job and his phone.  They haven't seen him and he won't answer.  All his things are here.  Even his violin is here.  He'd never leave without it.  I can't find him.  He disappeared.  Kaworu left.

[an audible gulp, a shaky sigh.] And I can't find him at all.  Tell me you've heard from him.

Please.

We did it! The Lights of Orion chose us! Now, we've got more than enough power to defend Terra Venture from Scorpius.

...I have to admit that I feel bad for Magna Defender, though. I know, the last time I posted, I was screaming about him. But since then, we learned that he's this way because Scorpius killed his son, and he wants revenge. I'm glad that he can't get it, since he's gone way too far. But I hope this can help him find some peace. Maybe losing the Lights will give him some perspective.

The machine I'm using doesn't appear to be broken, so it appears I should look for another reason to why I can't clear this community. Is this a common occurrence for it? In any case, it doesn't reflect well on the community itself.

If any of the members here could offer advice, I would appreciate it. Reading past entries only helps so much.

[ read: because this community is annoying and makes absolutely no sense. ]