Whoa, I missed my birthday.  Wonder how the hell I did that.  Oh, well, don't matter.

COME TELL ME HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY

[There's not much when the video starts up, just mostly bare room with some like streaming in, landing on a blanketless bed. There's shuffling around in the background, and a crash or two as well.

Suddenly Haibara pops up. And up... and up. Apparently she's quite grown up now, and quite wrapped in the missing blanket. She's also scowling quite a lot.]

I hate viruses. At least I didn't turn into an animal this time. Could someone bring me some clothes please? I can't exactly go out and borrow Claudia-neesan's clothes, after all.

[And then suddenly baby Kamina! He jumps multiple times to get a better look at the computer (poor little guy's five years old and very short, give him a break), questions directed at the suddenly adult Haibara without end.

'what's that who are you talking to what's this do where are we can we go see outside I've only seen outside once with my dad do you know him what's that fluffy thing can i go check it out'

and there goes the very top of his head at a rapid pace. one can only assume he's off to scientifically determine the jumpability of the bed.

Haibara watches him go by with a bored look on her face]

Also could someone bring me a child leash?

[ bet you thought you wouldn't be seeing this particular account name again.

oh, ye of little faith.

her surroundings may be different, from what little can be made out of them over her shoulders; they look suspiciously like a normal teenager's bedroom, in fact. maybe one that some of you recognise. Saber herself is dressed much more casually than she has ever been before; no armour, no dress, no suit, just a white t-shirt paired with a brown cardi. very average-looking. but otherwise, she looks much the same as she ever has. ]

Hello, community. I apologise for not letting you know of my whereabouts earlier, but the past few days have been more hectic than I would have expected. But please rest assured, I am completely fine, in no small part thanks to the efforts of others.

[ it's not a complete lie. she's physically fine, at least. ]

I need not say, I hope, that the Fourth Holy Grail War has ended. [ her expression tightens for a second, there, with worry and something like frustration. something smaller behind that like regret. ] I realise some of you may have questions about what has transpired in the past week, and I will do my best to answer them if I can.

[ she knows some of the events were broadcast. the events, and part of the aftermath, apparently; she made sure to go through the community and get up to speed. which is partly what leads to her next question: ]

Relatedly, would I be able to trouble anyone with a request for a world-hop? There are... a few things that I would like to check up on, if I may. Thank you for indulging me.

Everybody's got viruses and anon posts and stuff and that's great BUT MY ARM'S STILL BROKE FROM THAT STUPID SKI TRIP

I'M BORED

COMMUNITY!!

Tell me all about the best thing you ever ate!

Goin' on a grocery run in a little bit.  If you want something, come meet me in front of the dorm with the money 'cause I ain't got enough for everybody this time.

EDIT: I AIN'T BUYING PEOPLE CONDOMS

[whatever is left of this bedroom is completely wrecked.  torn pages of comics, broken wood, bent metal...the place looks like a hurricane tore through it.  that hurricane's name is 'thor and kamina'.  the two are sprawled out in a corner within arm's length of one another, punching each other in the head once they've gathered enough strength.]

Admit that Tuxedo Jane is my true love, [thor mumbles.]

No.

[cue more exhausted punching.

might i point out they're dressed in poofy skirts with tons of lace?]

...the hell happened?  'm gone training for a month and I come back to this.  It's like everything went crazy!  Looks like somebody's gotta set you all straight, and if it won't be any of you, it's gonna be ME!

LISTEN UP, DRAMADRAMADUCK!

You seen some rough shit the past couple of days.  Seen yerselves die, people you love die, friends leave ya, worlds gone.  Bouncing back from that kinda thing ain't easy.  Shaking off the bad stuff never is. BUT REMEMBER!  All you seen is what ifs and what coulda beens and if onlys.  None of that stuff was real, none of it ever happened 'cause you chose not to let it happen.  Whatever you choose is the truth of your universe.  And ya know what?

From what I can see you chose to really FREAKIN' AWESOME!    Don't forget it!

IF YOU DO, I'LL JUST TELL YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL IT GETS THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS THAT THE GREATEST EXAMPLE OF MASCULINITY THAT EVER LIVED, THE CHAMPION OF UNIVERSES, THE ONE WHO BLAZES PATHS TO GLORY THROUGH THE WILDERNESS FOR OTHERS TO FOLLOW, ME WHO IS THE GREAT KAMINA-SAMA!  I SAY YOU'RE AWESOME, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YA!

NOW GO OUT THERE, KICK REASON TO THE CURB, TELL REASON TO TAKE A HIKE, AND BEAT LIFE'S ASS!

[kamina shuffles onscreen in pajama pants and bedroom shoes, rubbing at his eyes.  according to the timestamp in the lower right hand corner, it's extremely early o'clock.  humanity is not meant to be awake at this time except for emergencies.  sorta like having all your windows cracked and/or broken just like the ones behind him.

oops.

he reaches for the door handle and calls over his shoulder,] 'm gonna go tell the guys downstairs about the windows, [but is interrupted by a sudden sheryl quickly crossing the room with a shirt in her hand.  said shirt is then flung over his head.]  Oh.  Heh, sorry.  [he doesn't see her roll her eyes.  god, men.  he grasps the knob then

KA-CHUNK

the entire door, hinges and all, is ripped from its frame with ease.  both stare in awe.  after a long beat, kamina says in a small voice,]

Guess we should tell 'em about the door.

[kamina sits crosslegged on a couch, shirtless as per usual.  it'd be a normal sight if it weren't for the two small unkempt-looking light orange wings on his back.  but those aren't the reason for this post.]

Hey, community. [he flicks the golden ring above his head, and it makes a dull ringing sound.]  Nobody else got it during that virus, right?  So what's this thing?

[a lovely park in early summer.  ah, you can almost smell the grass and feel the sun's warmth radiating from the sidewalks and--

feel the pain of a sudden blur colliding head-on with a tree in the foreground.  ow.  the blur, now identifiable as thor since he's no longer speeding along, rolls onto the grass face up.  he lies there spreadeagled until kamina arrives on the scene about four seconds later.  kamina surveys the scene--a banged-up bike, a tree with a huge thor-shaped hole in it, and thor doing nothing about the huge gash in his forehead.

he says,]

I ain't paying for this one.

[hello, community.

you are greeted with some fine kamina ass.

he's busy digging through a bag, nodding his head (and sorta singing, but he will deny it) along to some super awesome music.  maybe he hit a button while pulling it up on his computer.  we may never find out.  all you know is that he is stark naked and OH MY GOD IS HE TURNA;DKFJALDFKJ

thank jesus.  there's a table blocking the...er.  goods.  and that is when he looks up to find the computer recording.]

...oops.

[he calmly pads over and fiddles with the buttons for a minute or two.  the last shot before it cuts off is this.  WELP.]

SOMEONE TURN ME INTO A TALKING DOG

[ic edit a short time later:]


AND TURN ME BACK LATER WITH NO FUNNY BUSINESS

Whoa.  I hadn't paid attention to how everything looked since I've been off training, but now everything's sorta red instead of blue.  I like it!  Red's the best color there is!  New place and new people means I better introduce myself all over again!

SO LISTEN UP GOOD 'CAUSE IT'S RARE I EVER DO THIS KINDA THING TWICE!

You're probably wonderin' what kinda guy would make this sorta intro and I'll tell what sort of man he is!  ONE THAT'S A BIG DEAL!

THE SORT OF MAN WHO CRAWLED FROM UNDERGROUND WITH NOTHING MORE THAN HIS SWORD AND BADASSERY!  THE SORT OF MAN WHO MAKES HIS ENEMIES RUN IN FEAR AT HIS VERY NAME!  THE SORT OF MAN WHO SURPASSES THE IMPOSSIBLE TO BECOME A LEGEND IN LIFE AND DEATH!  EVEN NOW, HE LIGHTS A PATH TO THE STARS OTHERS WILL FOLLOW FOR CENTURIES TO COME!

THAT MAN--NO, THAT LEGEND IS ME!

YOU ALL ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GREAT, UNSTOPPABLE, MIGHTY, TENACIOUS, AUDACIOUS, DEMON OF A MAN!  IT IS I OF WHO I SPEAK! 

THE GREAT KAMINA-SAMA!!!

AND THAT'S WHO THE HELL I AM!

[kamina (with sudden shorter hair?!) is haggard-looking with bags under his eyes and messier hair than usual, but that doesn't detract from the utter fury in his voice.]

Where.  IS.  MY.  KID.

((ooc: surpraiz, this is kamina like...maybe a week after his first child is born.  all three kaminas, older, present, and wee kamina from about 5 years old, are in attendance and will be responding!))

I hate to be a bother, but it seems I'm in some need of assistance. Is there someone on here by the name of Sheryl? I need to speak with you for a moment- it's about Kamina. I promise I won't be long.

[[REFERENCE]]

[you are now treated to an intense close-up of kamina. red cheeks, glossy eyes, an even louder conversation voice than normal all point to the same conclusion: he is so very. very. drunk.]

COMMUNITY! Today was Renji's birthday and he's an old fart now-- [renji yells "SHUT UP, MAN" from somewhere close by] so I gotta be faster than him. I mean. I got to. But he's being all stubborn like old people are ["I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD"] so we're gonna race. You're judgin'! No cheating 'cause this is real important, ya hear me! THIS IS FOR MANLY PRIDE! ["YOU'RE TOO LOUD, EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU"] Stay right there.

[the camera is then placed on a large rock so the community jury can view both the contestants and playing field. he unsteadily walks to their makeshift starting line.] Okay...we're going to that big tree?

Yeah, that huge one.

Mkay. 3...2..1..GO!


[THEY'RE OUT OF THE GATE

and kamina trips over his own feet, accidentally bringing renji down with him (who was on his way to falling anyway). the birthday boy shouts,] CHEATING ASSHOLE!

SAY THAT TO MY FACE!

I AM, IDIOT!

I'M NOT AN IDIOT

[and then they drunk wrestle. nobody wins.]

[kamina, bloody but alive, is standing on top of a long red mecha with a young boy to his left, a busty redhead to his right, and a huge group of men in front of him.  they're all cheering, they did, they captured dai-ganzan and turned it into the dai-gurren, no one was hurt, he'll be with his family for years to come.....

he and an older man that looks almost exactly like him embrace.  the elder says, 'you did good, son'....

he's riding a raptor and being cool....

kamina's a lot taller....

he's scooping up a little boy that has his wild hair under one arm and a little girl wearing sheryl's earring under the other....

he and renji and an older simon are all jamming to fire bomber....

humans daydream more than half the day about no specific subject.  the post can only grab pieces and parts, but it's enough.]

Somebody help me pick a birthday!  I'm supposed to be an Aries...however long and whatever that is.  And what all do you do on birthdays, anyway?  Just eat cake?