[As Issei speaks, one might notice that he's wearing a maid outfit with fuzzy blue cat ears. One might notice anyway.]

My phone says my employer's number is out of service. This is obviously a problem - has anyone else who works at the cafe run into this?

Thank you for your time, community.

I want everyone who was in that mall to report in their status, and the status of anyone else they know who was in the mall with them.

I'll start. Issei Ryudo and Diarmuid Ua Duibhne both confirmed as healthy and home.

*The room in which the video starts is definitely not Retasu's; it doesn't have much in it, but it looks very fancy and very... green. Retasu is huddled up in a corner, though, wearing a dress you might have seen before. She looks up at the source of the video, blinks, and cautiously wanders over.*

Is... is it back?

*She shivers, draws back, and looks around. Finding nothing happening, she steels herself and squeaks out another question.*

Is anybody still alive?

I need the attacker in this post to die. Payment is negotiable.

[Issei himself is hit with yandere virus for his close CR and may be very unstable.]

*What possessed Issei to turn on his camera, still in his pajamas, and flail around stammering like this?*

Th-this, I, um, I, ah, virus, um-- help! Ah! I mean, it's not dangerous, I know a lot of you are probably going to worry because he's very well-loved, but nothing really bad happened, I just, um.

I can't even change my clothes or shower and I'm sure a lot of people will be upset and I already tripped and hit my head and he's going to have a bruise and...

*Maybe it's not Issei.*

A thought exercise for you, community.

There is a cage containing one person in it and a cage containing ten people in it. If you open one of the cages, the other will immediately drop into lava below, killing everyone inside. You must open one cage or the other.

What do you do if:

1. You know nothing about the people in either cage?

2. You know that the ten people in the second cage are all criminals, and nothing about the person in the other cage?

3. You know that the person in the first cage is a saint who has never harmed a single fly, and know nothing about the people in the other cage?

4. You know that the person in the first cage is a saint and that the second cage contains all criminals?

5. You know only that one person in the second cage is a murderer, and nothing about all the other people?

Thank you for your time.

[As the video kicks in Cu Chulainn can be seen wearing a forced grin, it's actually a little manic. Almost like he'd been slipped a ton of caffeine.]

So my little redlegs (he has indeed been hanging around London too long)...[ as he says through clenched teeth doing his best to maintain his broad, twisted smile]...you wouldn't say this is a scary face right? This is a friendly face. This is an approachable face. This is a face you can trust.

[If only he could take you all and put you inside of his head.] Right?

[ bet you thought you wouldn't be seeing this particular account name again.

oh, ye of little faith.

her surroundings may be different, from what little can be made out of them over her shoulders; they look suspiciously like a normal teenager's bedroom, in fact. maybe one that some of you recognise. Saber herself is dressed much more casually than she has ever been before; no armour, no dress, no suit, just a white t-shirt paired with a brown cardi. very average-looking. but otherwise, she looks much the same as she ever has. ]

Hello, community. I apologise for not letting you know of my whereabouts earlier, but the past few days have been more hectic than I would have expected. But please rest assured, I am completely fine, in no small part thanks to the efforts of others.

[ it's not a complete lie. she's physically fine, at least. ]

I need not say, I hope, that the Fourth Holy Grail War has ended. [ her expression tightens for a second, there, with worry and something like frustration. something smaller behind that like regret. ] I realise some of you may have questions about what has transpired in the past week, and I will do my best to answer them if I can.

[ she knows some of the events were broadcast. the events, and part of the aftermath, apparently; she made sure to go through the community and get up to speed. which is partly what leads to her next question: ]

Relatedly, would I be able to trouble anyone with a request for a world-hop? There are... a few things that I would like to check up on, if I may. Thank you for indulging me.

Are you a tea drinker?

Are you a tea?

[OOC: I am super sorry but I need to delay tagbacks while I work out how that last plot resolved exactly. Sorry about this, my bad!

OKAY NOW WE'RE GOOD sorryyy]

( Read more... )

[Once Kirito was out of sight, he hightailed it out of the dungeon into the next town, and its there that he brings up his access, having noticed the recording duck icon in the corner.]

You all saw that, right?

I don't know what to do anymore, except walk this road I've made for myself.

Suguha, sorry. Your brother made an enemy out of the whole game for the sake of the many.

<ooc: video starts at 11:00 to the end.)

[The video ahead is actually a series of brief clips focusing on Lancer and his brand new life of luxury. Or life with Lord Akeldama and the Drones.]

( cut for numerous clips )

Well this is awkward. Back again...? it was nice while it lasted, i almost forgot the world outside my own home existed.

[it's a known smile; to those that know him, a familiarity, all unchanging for the most part. the camera is a little off-point more showing from the nose and down. He doesn't seem to care too much to do anything about it, and finishes off a cigarette.]

... Or am I dreamin'? I wouldn't be surprised. ... Where's the time gone? It's gotten cold and the world keeps turning turning and people are changing like the seasons. I hate it.

I can't say I've been doin' much. I made a resolution to smoke 'less' because I'm sure it's not great for the cat, but you can say I've failed - if it's possible, I think it's only made me smoke more and that's a problem.. well only because I have to leave the house to get more.

My birthday is soon. Who's trying to change themselves this year?

[he seems a bit distracted. sort of fidgeting in place - a show of restlessness and unease if you knew he didn't normally make much effort to do anything but lay there and smirk stupidly at his audience.]

Talk.

What are the chances that Chat with iGod is actually a "God" pretending to be an automated script response system pretending to be God? Not high but certainly within the possible, wouldn't you say?

In a related question, what do you do when it's the middle of the night and you're incredibly bored but can't sleep?

Do you have a New Year's resolution? If so, is it any better than these people's?

A casual reminder that my home is always available as a safe house. To anyone, even those I've never met.

Whatever the boundary field around the temple doesn't get, Diarmuid can take care of. Stairs are sort of difficult for animated snowmen, apparently.

I'll make you tea.

Thank you to the members of the botany department for helping me to find a place to purchase cattleya orchids on short notice.  Life would be slightly easier if I was less picky about my flower meanings, I suppose.

And, while I'm here, the drama department students are taking suggestions for next year's shows.   If you haven't made a suggestion already, consider what you'd like to see performed.

Question One: How do you view the community?

Is it malevolent or simply a force? Are its viruses and who they affect randomized, or does it have a goal? When it chooses to allow some people's fates to be altered and some others are stuck as they are, why is that? Or do you just not think about it too much?

Question Two: Is being missed by a romantic virus for once worth breaking out one of my better teas for?

Everyone involved on my side of that whole mess gets to come over for my very best tea and unlimited hugs for as long as we both shall live.

William, are you all right? Do you have enough ice packs, would you like me to pay for your medical attention? I can treat you myself if necessary, I have a bit of knowldedge of first aid.

Right, I haven't posted anything generally relevant for a while... Well, what are your favorite flowers? Planting season is almost upon us.