You're fucking kidding me...

[ what. there is someone standing there with her hands on her hips who looks like ange. and she's posting from ange's account. but that is definitely not ange. ]

This bullshit again? I was getting ready for something important, y'know, I don't have time to play community games... Aaah, maybe I should just be glad I'm not a ✖✖✖✖ duck this time.

Seems like some people have got it worse than me now, so maybe I should just laugh. [ after a pause, she actually does throw her head back and laugh. ] Ahaha! For once, a virus took it easy on me, huh? That kinda puts me in a good mood. Oi, oi, Ange... I'll make you a deal and say that I won't do anything weird if you don't. Other than that, go wherever you want with that body of mine.

[ she sighs and stretches. ] But if I'm too boring to do anything, someone else has to make up for it. Someone's gotta be interesting, right? Hey, who's going to do something fun with their new body? I'll give you ideas if you need 'em.

( ooc | replies will come from ange's journal, entreats! )

I know it now. This community's totally tsun for me. I'd rather it be all deredere for me than keep cutting me off and bringing me back. (/ﾟДﾟ)/ That'd be boring, though. Nothing like being constantly spoiled to spoil the fun for you. But can't it spoil me just now and then? I'd like to receive cake and candies. Wonderful, delicious sweets. o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o That'd be a better show of its dedication.

Dear book-people,

I believe I have found a way to escape my library. I'd like to thank you for all the advice you've given me...though I'm afraid my solution is fitting with this world, rather than the more active suggestions you have made.

It will involve the potential burning of a book.

Do you think that is alright? To destroy a work, no matter how vile, just for my own sanity?

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

Marianne Zahm-
Under Assistant,
The Library
Chaos: 374 Order: 909

[ as if it's being recorded on a particularly bad camera, the video shakes and flickers. Bursts of static dart through the frames, sometimes obscuring parts of the view. But, if you try, you can make out most of it.

A darkened theater, large and grand. Two people sit in the audience, the empty seats around them almost swallowing them up. One is not from the community, though its members might have seen that person before. Another Ushiromiya, by the name of Lion.

The other one.. is Ange.

( She didn't elope. WARNING: GORE )

Hey...let's play a game, community. I have lots of ideas.

[ the video starts in mid-conversation. In a chapel, Bernkastel stands on top of an altar covered with golden roses, her shoes crushing the petals underneath.The same roses fill the interior of an open casket in front of the altar. Strangely enough, there’s no one in it — just a single bound book.

There are also two strangers standing in front of the altar: a man in blue and another person in red. ]

I didn't come here because I wanted to.

We're wasting time, so let's move onwards. [ a pause. Bernkastel smiles. ] Wright. Try and beat this game. As the Game Master, Bernkastel, I invite you to join this game.

[ The man — Will — looks annoyed. ]

I refuse.

[ Bernkastel’s smile doesn’t waver. ]

Why?

I'm retired now. Reasoning and mysteries aren't my business anymore.

How do you intend to spend the rest of your life? Is Wizard-hunting Wright going to give up witch hunting?

Oh, there's fox hunting and clam hunting. I didn't come here to discuss the rest of my life with you.

( so, you came here to refuse? )

[Video]
[A girl in a strange dress with too many ribbons appears on the screen. Her expression's briefly surprised, and then she points her finger at the screen accusingly.]

Oh, come on, why did you ditch me, Drama Drama Duck? You should've known you'd want me back!  There isn't any comparable products to Super Uber Lambdadelta brand. Even if you replace me for the newest model, it won't be the same. You can't tell me you'd already gotten bored of me! Well, I see you saw the error in that since I'm back.

It's Feburary here already? Awww, I missed Valentine's Day already!  A wonderful day for stuffing yourself with chocolate until you get sick of them and then some more, and I missed it. I'll have to make up for it. All the more chocolates! Mountains of them! [Chocolates begin raining around the girl as she continues speaking.] Ahh, my mouth's watering already! Though I don't regret missing out on that red string virus. There's only one for me, you know!

[She leans back in her ridiculously over-ruffled pink chair, relaxing.]

I'm seeing some new faces, so I'll introduce myself. I'm Lambdadelta, the Witch of Certainty and the strongest witch around. I'm a really fun girl if you get to know me!

[Action]
[Hey, Bernkastel? There's a hill of neatly, carefully wrapped Valentine's chocolates waiting for you. All of it lovingly homemade with magic. The pile is so huge that it'd pass more for a large store display than a gift left for someone. A note's been left with familiar handwriting on it, "To My Belated Valentine~ ☆(⌒▽⌒)☆ <3"

Guess what? Most of the chocolates aren't even trapped in any way! Lambdadelta's in that good a mood.]

[ The video shows Yuri standing in front of the camera, which is at eye level and completely motionless as if it was sitting on a tripod or being held by someone with uncanny stillness. He looks a little uncomfortable — embarrassed even? There’s an obvious pout on his face. ]

Isn’t this more your kind of stuff? Why do I have to be the one to do it? [ He tries to sound grumpy, but it's obvious he's just uncomfortable. He shoots a questioning look towards whoever is holding the camera. ]

[ there’s a slight pause before that person speaks. ]

… Well, why would I do it? You know I prefer to stay off the stage.

[ It’s Bernkastel. ]

[ There was a sigh from him. He really shouldn’t have been surprised, when it came down to it, he was the more social out of the two of them. He faced the camera, a stoic expression on his face. ]

Hi. Bernkastel and I are engaged. Later. [ He said, in a completely serious voice. He blinked, now addressing the camera lady once more. ] That good enough for you?

… It gets the point across, so it’s fine. [ Here, the video goes dark... although, it seems that it’s still recording. ] Did you really have to make it sound like you’re about to be executed, though...?

[ There’s a chuckle. ] I’m just bad at this, that’s all. I’m really happy too.

Ah, don’t go all out in the other direction either. [ She giggles. ] Something that’s too sentimental might just make my ears rot and drop off.

[ And the recording stops entirely. Replies will come from both Yuri and Bernkastel.]

[ a deep rumble of a snarl opens this recording a second before the video begins — in the very center of an elegant room lined with bookshelves, there's a large dog pacing in a tight ring. Fire blazes around its paws, flickering against the glowing lines of an intricate magic circle inscribed on the floor beneath it. Outside the circle, a dozen or so black cats surround the dog.

Whenever the dog comes too close to the edges of the circle, a sudden light flares up in warning, and the dog backs off. Still, the cats tense, baring their teeth, their claws scraping against the floor. A few bold ones even make as if to lunge at the dog, but they stay where they are. Their green eyes reflect the flames, shining with malice and hatred. But the dog pays no attention to them whatsoever. It snaps its jaws, fangs closing on empty air blurred by heat, and growls again, glaring at something off-screen.

As if following its gaze, the camera swivels in that direction and stops on Bernkastel. The witch sits still in one of the chairs, like she isn't bothered at all by the dog's presence. At this point, her cats show more expression than she does.

When she speaks, however, it's obvious that she's just managing to keep her voice calm. ]

Handing out cute animals only to have them warp into monsters... if this is the community's idea of an early Halloween trick, it's —

[ the dog interrupts with great booming barks, accompanied by yowls from Bernkastel's cats. Bernkastel closes her eyes until the din stops. ]

... Boring beyond belief.

So, since I'd rather not have all these books turn into ashes in case that thing escapes, does anyone want to take it away? I'm sure there's a person here who wouldn't mind bringing it to a special gathering for their enemies or something like that.

((Purple is Bernkastel, and pink is Lambdadelta.))

[ When the recording picks up Bernkastel’s voice, she sounds somewhat annoyed — though there’s a faint weariness beneath her words. ]

… How exhausting. We must have spent a hundred takes just on those couple of lines. What a waste of a day.

[ If Lambdadelta’s exhausted, her attitude doesn't show it. Her voice’s perky and full of energy.]

Ah, some of those takes were hilarious! They should go on a blooper reel. I’d totally buy it if they put that out.

[ Bernkastel makes a small sound, half-laugh, half-scoff. ]

Sure, yeah. Especially that guy’s, right...? They could be a blockbuster all on their own, titled “It’s All Useless.”

( Cut for length )