How can one politely tell an Inquestor-to-Be to think harder? This is the fourth one who cannot solve a simple makrugh puzzle. I understand I am more difficult than my predecessors, but when one plays this game one expects puzzles!

Bah. Simplifying things for fools was never my forte. Does anyone have suggestions for easy riddles? Then I can just send them on to Kaaree and let him harangue them into quitting. I don't have the heart to disappoint them.

I know it now. This community's totally tsun for me. I'd rather it be all deredere for me than keep cutting me off and bringing me back. (/ﾟДﾟ)/ That'd be boring, though. Nothing like being constantly spoiled to spoil the fun for you. But can't it spoil me just now and then? I'd like to receive cake and candies. Wonderful, delicious sweets. o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o That'd be a better show of its dedication.

So this is what the kids are all using these days, hm?  It's no wonder everyone around here has been so preoccupied with their little gadgets. Too preoccupied to chat with their own mother.

[She sighs dramatically before shrugging, obviously she doesn't actually care.]

Before I get ahead of myself, I'm Kyrie Ushiromiya, Battler and Ange's mother.  Now I am going to need to hear every story you may have about either of them here - you know, to get caught up on all I've missed.

[...well, Oriko doesn't seem to be bothering with theatrics this time. If anything she looks completely exhausted; slumped at a table with several stained cups of coffee with that distinctly frazzled, crumpled look of someone who hasn't had any sleep in the last 24 hours. That idiot version of her has managed to create a complete and utter mess for... herself... and urgh things had been going so well. Or at least, mostly according to plan.

Personally, she considers herself just a bit too busy right now to be doing this sort of thing, but some things need to be said.]

Hello. Again.

As you probably gathered, I was under the influence of a virus in my previous announcement. Any promises made are hereby considered null and void.

That's all. Carry on with your day. Miss Tomoe, we need to discuss things.

[and yep, feed cuts out.]

[hat, hair and skirts billowing, Oriko stands, royal and resplendent, with perfect balance atop the tallest spire of Mitakihara, the recorder at the perfect angle to capture the city beneath her in all its glory, despite it presumably being in mid air (hint: magic. Or possibly one of the spheres and some duct tape BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER).

From her place at the top of the world, she preaches, master of all she surveys, seven silver spheres spinning as planets orbit the sun.]

Greetings, my kin!

I hear there are dark times afoot! Matters of machination, of death, destruction and hollow glory, but hold no fear!

I will protect you.

I will save you!

If you would follow my lead, and accept this will and wisdom, then harken to me! None shall falter under my gracious watch, and together, we shall lead into a new world! Without grief, without despair, without loss! We shall form a world so perfect none shall be sad!

What say you?

[...so yes, Oriko has snapped. Sort of.]

[ the video starts in mid-conversation. In a chapel, Bernkastel stands on top of an altar covered with golden roses, her shoes crushing the petals underneath.The same roses fill the interior of an open casket in front of the altar. Strangely enough, there’s no one in it — just a single bound book.

There are also two strangers standing in front of the altar: a man in blue and another person in red. ]

I didn't come here because I wanted to.

We're wasting time, so let's move onwards. [ a pause. Bernkastel smiles. ] Wright. Try and beat this game. As the Game Master, Bernkastel, I invite you to join this game.

[ The man — Will — looks annoyed. ]

I refuse.

[ Bernkastel’s smile doesn’t waver. ]

Why?

I'm retired now. Reasoning and mysteries aren't my business anymore.

How do you intend to spend the rest of your life? Is Wizard-hunting Wright going to give up witch hunting?

Oh, there's fox hunting and clam hunting. I didn't come here to discuss the rest of my life with you.

( so, you came here to refuse? )

Settle something for us, community.

I want to know about the different kinds of "worldhopping."

Do some of them work when others don't?


(( OoC: Her world is sealed off, for the safety of all not already there. ))

[Video]
[A girl in a strange dress with too many ribbons appears on the screen. Her expression's briefly surprised, and then she points her finger at the screen accusingly.]

Oh, come on, why did you ditch me, Drama Drama Duck? You should've known you'd want me back!  There isn't any comparable products to Super Uber Lambdadelta brand. Even if you replace me for the newest model, it won't be the same. You can't tell me you'd already gotten bored of me! Well, I see you saw the error in that since I'm back.

It's Feburary here already? Awww, I missed Valentine's Day already!  A wonderful day for stuffing yourself with chocolate until you get sick of them and then some more, and I missed it. I'll have to make up for it. All the more chocolates! Mountains of them! [Chocolates begin raining around the girl as she continues speaking.] Ahh, my mouth's watering already! Though I don't regret missing out on that red string virus. There's only one for me, you know!

[She leans back in her ridiculously over-ruffled pink chair, relaxing.]

I'm seeing some new faces, so I'll introduce myself. I'm Lambdadelta, the Witch of Certainty and the strongest witch around. I'm a really fun girl if you get to know me!

[Action]
[Hey, Bernkastel? There's a hill of neatly, carefully wrapped Valentine's chocolates waiting for you. All of it lovingly homemade with magic. The pile is so huge that it'd pass more for a large store display than a gift left for someone. A note's been left with familiar handwriting on it, "To My Belated Valentine~ ☆(⌒▽⌒)☆ <3"

Guess what? Most of the chocolates aren't even trapped in any way! Lambdadelta's in that good a mood.]

[She's once again in a super lush, super girly bedroom. Think four-poster bed and all.]

Well, that was an exciting end to the sixth game. It ended with Battler's victory, too. Of course, that useless loser had to depend on Beatrice to rescue him from the closed room. At least she wasn't boring about it! Heroically storming the chapels, fighting with absolute determination against overwhelming odds, and winning anyway. Now that's the kind of performance I like to see! Since there wasn't a wedding, I got to have the cake all to myself.

Now I'm beginning to get bored again. Anyone got an interesting game for me? Not just any game will do! Simple things like chess or go absolutely, definitely, certainly won't do. I'm looking for something like a game with complex and unknown rules, especially with lives on the line. Something really pop and cute. Something like that'd do for now.

Or anything'll do as long as it's interesting enough. It's not as if I can't find another one on my own, but it's rare to find a witch like Beatrice. You can't just pop down to the nearest witch store and say "I want a new witch to play with, what've you got today?" like it's a candy store. Ahh, if a store like that existed, I'd never ever get bored! I could say that I wanted a bittersweet licorice flavored witch, a light and fluffy cotton candy witch. a hard gumdrop witch that you have to suck on until she dissolves, or a crunchy konpeito witch.

Instead, I have to search the endless worlds for another game. It'd be quicker if someone on here could pop up with a fun game. It'd save a lot of time, right? That's what a networking site like this's for, meeting new people and opening up new possibilities. Even if your game isn't up to my level, it might at least amuse me for a little.

((Purple is Bernkastel, and pink is Lambdadelta.))

[ When the recording picks up Bernkastel’s voice, she sounds somewhat annoyed — though there’s a faint weariness beneath her words. ]

… How exhausting. We must have spent a hundred takes just on those couple of lines. What a waste of a day.

[ If Lambdadelta’s exhausted, her attitude doesn't show it. Her voice’s perky and full of energy.]

Ah, some of those takes were hilarious! They should go on a blooper reel. I’d totally buy it if they put that out.

[ Bernkastel makes a small sound, half-laugh, half-scoff. ]

Sure, yeah. Especially that guy’s, right...? They could be a blockbuster all on their own, titled “It’s All Useless.”

( Cut for length )

[The screen is filled with a petite cake. Not just any petite cake, but possibly one of the most ridiculously overdecorated cakes ever. Just to start with, there're pink frosting and red ribbons made out of candy. As well as candy pumpkins. And then there're the miniature candy gingerbread house atop, the candy canes sticking out all over and... let's just say that it looks like someone tried to cram as much candy onto and into the cake as they could, and then added a few more beyond that.]

Look, look! It's the Lambdadelta cake. Isn't it so wonderfully delicious looking? I want to eat it all right now!

((From this thread.))

[The background is a luxuriously girly room lit dimly by candles. A woman in a strange dress is sitting there.]

Found you!

Or are there any other possible explanations for the visitors out of nowhere, like that candy-haired girl who keeps showing up? Definitely, certainly not!

You see, ever since I found you on my diary a few days ago, I've been observing you. Such a wonderfully marvelous thing, an internet community that spans worlds, where curses are doled out! Ahh, if only I had thought it up. It's definitely a wonderful game, and one I'll play.

After all, it's a game with power beyond even that of the strongest witch in existence. Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to bulge it from my diary. Yes, I can see that I'm in a player in this game regardless or not I want to play. There's no need to humilate myself with multiple futile attempts, right?

Good thing this promises to be a game that won't bore me! It definitely wasn't boring reading the results of all those curses. And I must say I approve of the duck theme. It's perfectly <cute> and <pop> enough for me.

Whoever might be responsible for this game, as the Witch of Certainty, I accept your challenge. I'll beat your game, and impose a wonderful punishment game upon you. Perhap some of those curses you love so much? I could turn you into jealous lovers and have you carve each other up nicely for a lovely dinner.

Oh, I wonder what Bernkastel'd think of this. I should hurry up and tell her about it! But perhaps it can wait until after she's done with the game.

You there, Battler? This is where you've been getting all those guests from, right? Pulling them from outside the chessboard. It's too bad you didn't use that more intelligently. I would've made super good use of that ability!