dramadramaduck | [video] // black heart inertia

...right. The facts of the matter are...I have sworn an oath to my Master. My existence is this world is devoted to his purpose and making sure his wish is made reality.

What complicates things is that my Master does not seem to trust me--and lately I find myself doubting that I can truly place my trust in him.

I see.

[Boy, doesn't that sound like ~~Shuten~~ someone.]

What brought you to swear this oath in the first place?

He summoned me to his side to fight in a war. In answering to the summoning ritual and accepting him as my Master, I swore to fight for him and bring him victory.

[Nasuti sighs. This sounds just like Shuten. She should really get him to comment on this situation.]

What were you doing before that? Did you have any dreams and goals of your own?

Before that? I was dead.

[Like that's totally normal.]

I am a knight who lived and died centuries ago. My only dream then or now would be to serve my lord or Master with absolute loyalty suiting a knight.

...have you had different masters?

[She's heard stranger. Or equally strange, at least.]

I was in service to a knight in my lifetime, yes. But I failed him, and I wish not to repeat that failure with my Master now.

Is this not your first crisis of faith, so to speak?

...I've never doubted myself before. Not like this.

Did something happen to shake your faith?

...and...correct me if I'm wrong, but...

You have no say in who your Master is, is that correct?

That's correct, basically. He is the one who chose me, not the reverse.

As for what happened, events have simply begun to lead me to doubt the fight I was summoned for will end in anything but betrayal at his hands.

So what are your options?

Assuming what I've seen is true and not mere fabrication?

My choice is to either turn my back on him and leave this world completely or die at his hands.

This is where it gets complicated. I have my own opinions, but I understand that our cultures and ways of thinking could be drastically different.

I personally find a person living for another person not of their choosing to be problematic, but I understand that it is a reality you must face every day.

Let's look at both of these options? What would the negative consequences be of each of these outcomes?

I have no issue with being called to a Master rather than choosing one myself. I chose to swear loyalty to the one who summoned me, and I accept that my existence is to fight for him.

Very well, let me see. In one outcome, I would again die due to betrayal at the hands of my lord. That is not something I seek to repeat. In the other, I violate all that I stand for by breaking my word and turning away from the loyalty sworn to my Master.

While I find cowardice far worse than death, I remain undecided as to which of these is truly preferable. What I should say is 'I would rather die than betray him', but events have me wondering if...if he's truly worth dying for, even as my Master.

Is it possible for you to be summoned by another, while serving a master already?

The contract between Servant and Master can be broken and a Servant contracted to another, but that usually requires the death of the original Master or the willing forfeit of his right to command a Servant.

Hmn. Doesn't sound all that different from the shogunate.

And the likeliness of your Master forfeiting..?

Kayneth-dono will not forfeit. I can at least say I know him well enough to be sure of that.

So it sounds like you have a decision to make. Is your biggest dilemma the idea that you would be "betraying" your ethic code?

...essentially, yes. Someone on the community once suggested that should I have no choice, I should abandon this world rather than let things come to such a conclusion. Though in my heart I feel as if that would be preferable to death, it would not be the right thing to do.

I can not turn my back on my Master; when I say I would die for him, I do not mean 'unless something better comes along'.

Having to choose between what is right and what is convenient for me should not even be a dilemma in any sense of the word. The answer is obvious, and yet I hesitate.

You hesitate because there is more to an oath than simply the logic of it.

To die for someone is only noble if your heart is in it. Otherwise it's just a waste.

I...I know that. But I can't abandon him. I can't turn my back on my lord and run a second time.

You've run before?

[Nasuti shakes her head. It doesn't matter.]

It takes more courage to look past your pride and do the right thing. A vile Master does not make self-sacrifice right.

Forgive me, it's a long story with difficult circumstances.

He's not...he's not a terrible person. [So you think.] He just does not understand the heart of a knight. I can not fault him for being born into an era where honor seems to count for far less than it once did.

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