[audio]

[king_bowser]

[click]

 What's up, chumps?

I've been poking around your little site here for a little while, and I'm surprised it took me so long to figure out what was missing: me!

Bwahahaha, that's right!  Now with a million... ish... percent more BOWSER in this place, this little community-thing is sure to be that much more awesome!

You guys really should be thanking me!  I mean, c'mon, I make everything better.

[click]

Comments

[ video ]

[soulfist]

You can't make anything better, I already have~

[text]

[king_bowser]

Huh? And just who the heck are you?

[ video forever ]

[soulfist]

The greatest woman you could ever meet~ And who or...what are you?

[video]

[king_bowser]

(raises an eyebrow) Well, you're pretty. I'll give you that. But I've already met the greatest woman ever. Heck, I'm gonna go kidnap her again this summer! (looks way too pleased about that)

Anyway, I'm Bowser, King of the Koopas, all-around awesome guy, and stomper of plumbers the world over. (he might be lying about that last one)

permavid

[windgodgirl]

Oh my, you're certainly a confident one.

[video]

[king_bowser]

Well, yeah, of course I am! I'm the biggest, baddest guy around, and I'm a king to boot!

I've got loads of troops, a bunch of great kids, and a castle to put all of 'em in! Not to mention my own kingdom that's totally defensible against... everything!

So confidence? Yeah, just another little thing on the loooooong list of "what Bowser's got".

[windgodgirl]

Careful, your words will turn into steam and spittle at that rate.

[mightletyouknowme]

What's a bowser? I don't think we need one.

[king_bowser]

What do you mean I'm not needed?! Look at this place! You totally need a Bowser!

[mightletyouknowme]

[As if important, she flips her hair behind her.]

If I needed one, I would have heard of it.

[king_bowser]

(scowls) Look, little girl, I don't have time to educate you on the benefits of having me around. Just take my word for now that this place just got a lot better with the Koopa King around. (grins smugly as he leaves)

(several moments later, he returns and shuts the camera off)

voice;

[selfished]

Heh, so what'cha planning on doing to make this place better? I'll give ya a chance if you have a funny plan!

[video]

[king_bowser]

Doing? You kidding? All I gotta do is be here! (grins)

[selfished]

Aw man, looks like another big guy who's just all talk and no fun. And here I thought you'd be better than that.

[locked from everyone but Kyouko, low to moderate difficulty]

[king_bowser]

You caught me. To tell you the truth, I am planning something. There's this Star Rod I've heard about around here that can grant wishes. Not like a genie-in-a-lamp kind, either. It's an actual tool that you use to make your dreams come true.

My plan is to get it, take it for a spin, and see where things go. I like you, kid, so if you tag along and help me out, you can even have a turn with it. (grins)

[text] If the white text bothers you, just say the word and I'll cut it out. o7

[docfoul]

I must inform you that there is very little you could add to the community in terms of charisma that my presence here has not yet contributed to.

[And if Bowser doesn't feel like highlighting that, Scratch could not care less.]

[video]

[king_bowser]

[He just wouldn't think to.]

(leans in close to look at the icon) Who's the lightbulb-head guy?

(leans back, musing) That reminds me of a joke...

[docfoul]

Go on. I will be here until your inability to read what I am saying stops being funny, at which point I will switch to video as well and instruct you on the complex art of highlighting text.

[oceanicbutterfly]

So far, you only make it noisier.

[king_bowser]

Yeah, well, it looks to me like this place could use a little more noise.

[oceanicbutterfly]

It provides its own noise with frustrating regularity.

[Video]

[blahblahblah]

Welcome. You're stuck with this thing now. They say that once you join the community, you can never leave.

[The girl on the other end of the feed frowns.] And on a more relevant note? All you're doing is giving me a headache. What makes you so amazing?

[heavenlyhome]

Welcome to the community, Bowser-san.

[king_bowser]

(Bowser smiles. It's a bit difficult to tell if it's genuine or malicious.)

[heavenlyhome]

Do you have any questions? I would be happy to answer them, if you do.