[The video starts up and it appears it's recording from his phone again. He's appears to be some kind of alter and sitting on the highest step of the stairs, with the Master Emerald behind him.

He looks rather bored.]

Another day...

[He rubs his forehead with one of hands.] I'm starting to regret making that wish. Sure it protects the Master Emerald from Eggman, but at least I could take a break once in a while.

[He sighs and shifts slightly to get more comfortable.] I got to do what's best as Guardian though.

[He looks up at the sky.] I wonder what everyone's doing now that Eggman has given up a while ago?

[The video then ends.]


(OOC: Basically he's in an AU where he's the guardian of the Master Emerald instead of Knuckles. Behind the scenes, apparently Tails was first meant to be the guardian and there was even a level where he would cameo. Those plans got scrapped, but you can access pieces of that lost level with hacks and Knuckles was created instead. Because of this, he doesn't know who Knuckles is (since he doesn't technically exist in this AU). )

Dear book-people,

A man came to my library today, and actually looked at me.

It made me realize how few people actually look at each other here. No one refers to each others by name, or talks directly to one another. Requests are made to the air, in hopes that someone might complete them. In the all time that I've been here, that man was the first to look me in the eye and notice my existence.

Is that...is that normal? To be noticed? Should I be worried that he spoke to me as me, not as an automaton?

Thank you for your advice,
Marianne Za
Under Assistant
The Library

Order: 1130 Chaos: 79

[Bowser sits on his throne, with a bored and slightly annoyed look on his face, drumming his fingers on the armrest. His gaze doesn't seem to be on the computer, but rather on a spot below and behind it.]

(unenthusiastically) So, Mario's not only made a full recovery from that pounding I gave him a few days ago, but he's even managed to beat the Koopa Bros. and free the first Star Spirit. I guess I expected this, but he went right to it, like he knew right where it was. Mario's always been lucky, though, so I'll just keep an eye on him for now. If he starts heading for Dry Dry Ruins, I'll have to find a way to confuse him.

Okay first my TV showed a duck and wouldn't go away so I unplugged it, next my cell phone wouldn't work due to the same duck showing on its screen so I had to turn it off, then I went outside and found that you asses posted a duck on any flat surface you could find, now I'm back on my phone and I want to know some things.

First: What is your fucking problem?
Second: How the hell are you doing this?

So, ah, looks like people are acting odd again. Or maybe I'm just seeing things I'm still weirded out over that red string stuff...

Oh, speaking of people acting odd: hey, Tails - you think we can finally set Eggman back to normal? Not to be a party pooper and all, but him being nice and cuddly like that is really disturbing after awhile.

Not to mention boring.

[The feed opens with Bowser holding the camera and standing in front of Princess Peach's bedroom door. Angry but dainty pounding and shouting can be heard from the other side of the door. Bowser looks for a few moments at the door, then turns slowly to the camera, stifling a laugh.]

You know... (snerk) ...sometimes I just can't help myself...

[Bowser facepalms and laughs loudly, more at the ridiculousness of his own psyche than out of any sort of malice:]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- [The video ends. Bowser signs into chat about fifteen minutes later.]

[Player's note: I originally posted this on Bowser's journal by mistake. Deleted that one and posting here.]

[Dated to about fifteen minutes after this post. The video opens with a view of a Koopa Troopa holding the camera toward his own face and giving a short introduction. There's a lot of wind, so he's a little hard to hear.]

Koopa: --s is proof that King Bowser is a good ruler. The Mushroom Kingdom isn't even allied with us or anything, but here we are, going down to evacuate Toad Town so they don't get flattened in case all that ground above us comes crashing down. (points the camera upward, and the dark silhouette of a very big chunk of land can be seen, even against the night sky) He's even taking Princess Peach back so she can help with the evacuation! (aims the camera ahead, and both Bowser and Peach can be seen in the Koopa Kopter in the lead) To be honest, I didn't know he had it in him.

Bowser (annoyed): What're you jabbering about back there?

Koopa (nervously): N-nothing, King Bo--

[The video ends. Several hours later, the following video appears:]

Bowser (looking disappointed): So Princess Peach is back down there making sure the Toads are okay, in case my kingdom falls on theirs. So much for my awesome plan. I'm not sure what to do with this thing now, though (holds up the Star Rod).

[Suddenly, Kammy Koopa bursts into the throne room. Bowser dejectedly turns his attention to her.]

Kammy (off-camera): Sire! I've just received word that Mario has defeated the Koopa Bros. and rescued the first Star Spirit!

Bowser: 'Kay.

Kammy (shocked): That's it? You're not worried he's going to rescue them all and take back the Star Rod?

Bowser: Nah. This plan's wrecked. He can have it if he wants.

Kammy: Your Sullenness, are you... giving up?

Bowser (not nearly as annoyed as he should be): Of course not. But without Peach, there's no point to this one. We're just waiting now.

Kammy: But what about defeating Mario?

[Bowser simply rolls his eyes and happens to glance at the camera. Noticing it's still on, he quickly covers it with his palm, and this video ends, as well. He soon signs back into chat.]

[Dated to roughly an hour after this other post. Bowser stands in front of the camera looking rather displeased. The viruses were fun when they were happening to everyone else, but now it's kind of annoying.]

I'm guessing this-- (turns camera toward a window, through which falling snow can be seen, then jerks it back, leaving it slightly tilted) --is one of those viruses. This is worse than just the snow, by the way.

Somehow we're on the ground without even landing. Half my kingdom is up here with me, and we're still in the air over Toad Town! On top of that, everything's covered in snow! It's even coming in the windows!

So what's gonna happen when the virus ends, huh? Is all that ground out there just gonna disappear, or is it gonna flatten the city? [The way he sees it, the Mushroom Kingdom is his, too, just not officially.]

[Bowser strokes his chin thoughtfully for a moment, then shouts off to one side:] Kammy Koopa!

[Kammy's voice can be heard giving some sort of acknowledgement.]

Go down to Toad Town and get everyone out. If this stuff falls (points his thumb toward the window), that's where it's going.

[Kammy says something, and Bowser steps off-screen toward her.]

Well, if they don't listen, chase them out! Use force if you need to, but I want everyone out of the city by sunset! Got it?!

[Kammy says something again. A pause. Bowser returns to the camera looking more concerned and serious.]

(sigh) I can't believe I'm doing this... [He seems to be talking about something that hasn't yet been spoken. His palm covers the camera, and the video ends.]

[And the snowmen haven't even started attacking yet...]

[The video opens with Bowser roaming the halls of Peach's Castle, searching with what seems like a look of concern. The entire castle is swaying a little, sitting atop Bowser's own castle, which itself is floating in the air. He approaches one of his guards.]

Bowser: If you see Peach, just tell her I want to talk. Just... forget what I said about locking her back up. She's not going anywhere.

Guard: (this particular guard is a Koopatrol) Sir? Are you all right? You seem... (trails off for a moment, trying to think of the right word)

Bowser: (not enjoying having his orders questioned, interrupts, getting in his minion's face) I mean it, Corporal! If she ends up locked away again, or if anybody so much as makes her squeak, then you go out the window! Got it?

Guard: (falls over and scrambles to his feet to run off with the order) Yessir! Got it! Going, sir! Right away, sir! Bye, sir! (vanishes around a corner)

Bowser: (turns around and walks the other way, wearing the concerned expression again; grumbles:) That goggle-girl better know what she'stalking about...

[Bowser continues walking off-screen, and the video ends. Shortly after, Bowser reenters video chat (below).]

[The camera seems to be sitting on a desk inside Peach's bedroom. Bowser bursts through the door. Neither Peach nor Bowser seem to be aware of the camera.]

Bowser: (cheerfully) Hey, darlin', how about a tour of the castle? It's had a lot of changes since you were here last.

Peach: (huffily) I think I'll stay here, thank you.

Bowser: (gently) Aw, c'mon. You're already here, and Mario's not going to be able to reach us now. Besides, it'll let you get out of your room for a while.

Peach: (angrily) I don't want to see your dank, gloomy castle! You're just trying to make me a more agreeable prisoner, and I won't stand for it!

Bowser: (offended) Fine! Stay in here, then! (then somewhat more gently:) But if you change your mind, I'll be waiting.

[Bowser turns away to leave but stops for a moment. The camera clearly picks up a saddened expression on his face. He rubs his eyes a moment, then continues offscreen, closing the door hard behind him.]

[The slamming door causes Peach to jump, and her previously angry expression collapses into sadness.]

Peach: If only someone could help me...

[A tiny knock is heard on the glass door leading to the balcony. Peach walks over to investigate. The moment her hand touches the curtain to pull it aside, the video ends.]

[Bowser reenters video chat shortly afterward, unaware that the above has been posted.]

[Bowser sits on his throne with the Star Rod in one hand and what looks like a barbecued turkey leg in the other.  Between sentences, he's happily taking large bites out of the drumstick.]

(with mouth full) Sho, ah've got the Shtar Rod, and it'sh aweshome.  (swallows) I can do anything with this thing!  I mean, check it out!  (motions to the window and takes a bite)

[The camera operator walks to the window, and we're treated to a breathtaking view of the Mushroom Kingdom, far below.  There is a rather large crater near a pond.  Those with higher-resolution monitors, a keen eye for detail, and a shocking familiarity with the Mushroom Kingdom would notice that that crater is exactly where Peach's Castle used to be.]

(swallows) Not only is my castle flying, but it's got Peach's Castle right on top of it!  (bite of drumstick) She'sh up vere right now.  Ah'm gon' go shee 'er in a few minnush. (swallows)

Yeah, it's a good day to be me...

[End of vlog post.  Immediately after posting it, Bowser reappears on the community in video chat.]

 [The camera gets jostled around, and there's a lot of noise from wind as Bowser (in his Koopa Kopter), Kammy Koopa (on her broomstick and wearing what looks like a rebreather), and someone else holding the camera are flying rapidly upward to a land in the night sky made of clouds and stone.]

[As they approach this land, a temple is revealed.  Small yellow Stars are visible, some of whom are staring in confusion at the incoming Koopas.  As they get closer, the Stars begin to scatter and hide within the various stone structures built on the clouds.]

Bowser:  (shouting over the wind, as they draw closer to the temple)  "This is it!  Kammy, you go in the front and distract 'em!  I'll go in from the back and grab the Star Rod!"  (looks at the camera, or rather the one holding the camera) "You hang onto that thing and follow Kammy in!"

[Kammy simply nods, as her mouth is occupied with the rebreather.  The camera nods, too.]

[OOC: I'll leave the next part open for a bit in case Kyouko Sakura is also present.  This post will resume tomorrow.]

(there's static for a few moments as the camera gets jostled around.  when it comes to rest, it's placed slightly off-kilter.  a somewhat diagonal Bowser appears, looking somewhat pleased.)

All right, Ducks.  I've found some new information that should turn things around for me: there's a thing called a Star Rod that's been granting everyone else's wishes.  Sounds great, right?  But it's been totally ignoring my wishes.  I aim to change that.

For once, I'm gonna make a wish, and it's finally going to come true.  There's only one problem.  This Rod is kept in a shrine in some sparkly land where all the Stars live.  My Koopa Kopter can't make it all the way up there, and Kammy's asthma doesn't like altitude, so that's where I need some help.

I've heard of some lupine mechanic around here who might be able to give the Kopter a boost.  I'm willing to pay loads of coins and grant honorary member status in my Koopa Troop in exchange.  Oh yeah, and you'd need to help make some modifications to my castle. (casually flashes a blueprint showing Bowser's Castle atop a gigantic version of the Koopa Kopter) Nothing major.  Probably.

(Bowser pokes at the camera in an attempt to turn it off.  instead, it falls backwards and is now showing a stone-brick ceiling and the back of his monitor.  the sounds of moving objects can be heard, as Bowser mutters under his breath about the "stupid camera".  eventually, the camera moves again, apparently being held, and shuts off.)

[click]

 What's up, chumps?

I've been poking around your little site here for a little while, and I'm surprised it took me so long to figure out what was missing: me!

Bwahahaha, that's right!  Now with a million... ish... percent more BOWSER in this place, this little community-thing is sure to be that much more awesome!

You guys really should be thanking me!  I mean, c'mon, I make everything better.

[click]