[text]

[structuraldefect]

Has anyone seen my cell phone lately?

[ETA: Twenty minutes later.]

Nevermind. I think I know where it went.

Comments

[jailbirds]

infamous thief of peoples shit?

[ the funny thing is that she's right, she just has no idea who the thief actually is or what the hell gil's name is. ]

[structuraldefect]

Struck you too?

[jailbirds]

i live pretty spartan theres not much to steal

ive heard other people bitching about it though

[structuraldefect]

I'm surprised it's taken this long for it to get back around to me, to be honest.

[jailbirds]

i take it youve got no idea who the thief is either then

the fucking mystery of the ages i swear to god

[structuraldefect]

If I had any idea, I couldn't tell you.

[jailbirds]

thats suspicious why not

[structuraldefect]

Simple. I'd rather not end up their next target.

[jailbirds]

what a loser why dont you just fight them

[structuraldefect]

What? With my philosophy notes?

[jailbirds]

oh wow how do you hold notes if you dont have HANDS

fight with your hands is what im saying you useless piece of shit

[structuraldefect]

I'll make note of it.

[jailbirds]

heres a pro tip if you curl your fingers you can make a fist

theyre good for punching people

[structuraldefect]

Are they?

[jailbirds]

yes

especially in the face and/or dick

[structuraldefect]

Very strategic.

[jailbirds]

do you need lessons

[structuraldefect]

I don't see why not.

[jailbirds]

really? ok cool hit me up whenever its not like i go to class

[structuraldefect]

Will do.

[heavenlyhome]

I'm glad you found it.

[structuraldefect]

Thank you.

[heavenlyhome]

May I ask if it was a thief?

[structuraldefect]

It certainly seems that way.

[heavenlyhome]

Ah- then you haven't found it?

[structuraldefect]

No, not yet. But I'm sure it'll turn up again soon.

[heavenlyhome]

I'd assumed from your addition that you had. Hm, I'm sure you've checked the commons desk. May I ask what it looks like? I can keep a loot out for it, at the very least.

[structuraldefect]

Flip open phone. Fairly old. Black.

[heavenlyhome]

I will let you know if I see it.

[structuraldefect]

Alright.

[regalbearing]

... I will make a mental note to ignore any texts I receive from your phone from this point onwards.

[structuraldefect]

If you'd be so kind.

[regalbearing]

Of course. And I had hoped I would go a full week without this nonsense, too.

[structuraldefect]

There's your first mistake.

[regalbearing]

I suppose so. I will know better next time.