Episode 1: Pain is Power

[grandest_delusion]

[The Camera opens up to a lone figure walking down a hallway with sirens blaring and a SPD symbol on his back. Oh, Special Police Dekaranger. Or maybe Space Patrol Delta? Either way, he seems to be narrating it as the music blares behind himself.]

Emergency! I deliver with a cool style and a burning heart. I am... Red.


[Breaking out into a run, he charges forward -- and opens a door suddenly into what appears to be a delivery service.]

Where's the scene of today's crime, Umeko?!

[For a moment there's an awkward pause before his boss stands up and WHACKS him with a clipboard.]

Akagi! Are you daydreaming again?

[Despite his protests, she rips the colored tape off his black pants and whirls him around as a quite nerdy SPD logo is stencilled on paper on his back.]

And this! What the hell is this?

[Grabbing it, Nobuo exclaims.] It's the SPD logo from the twenty-eighth Super Sentai series, Special Police Dekaranger! See, Special Police Deka--

[Whirling him around, she smacks his back.] Sasaki! Ponpoko! Delivery! Here's your first run for today.

Right. [For a moment Nobuo looks depressed, but then he brightens up instantly.] OH YEAH! I get to see her today!

[And excitedly he grabs everything and runs out the door with a warning of no detours and no daydreaming. He got as far as a merchandise store in Akibahara when he came to a screeching halt.]

What?! An Aurora Sentai Maskman Deluxe Chogokin Lightspeed Combining Great Five, mint in box?! The release that revolutionized Sentai toys with genuine ABS plastic and accurate sticker application, and it's going onyl for 100,800 yen?!

So cheap! So expensively cheap!

[Grabbing his debit card, he tried to walk into the store, but was waylayed by a merchandise standie of a girl in armor shaped to look like wings and a cannon on her arm and leg. On a television, a clip was playing as well.]

What was I made to shoot? A sudden nightmare? A grim ending?

A... Aoi-tan...!

You really do love Sentai more, don't you, Nobuo? Even though my movie is coming out soon... Even though I have releases like figurines and hug pillows coming soon... Bang.

[All of this, and Nobuo is crumbling quite literally in front of her. Demoralized, he staggered away from the doorway.]

Forgive me, Great Five! I may have sworn to dedicate my life to Super Sentai, but I, Nobuo Akagi, at 29 years old, am disgustingly moe over Aoi-tan!!! I was glad I could at least meet you...

[Getting up, he made several poses in the style of Maskman as his mental narration went on.] Allow me to at least leave in an appropriate fashion... Onto my unstoppable machine!

[And he tore off, seconds before remembering his bike, and returning to grab it.]

[On the other side of the street, a woman in a dark suit looked back at him through a window.]

That's... Nobuo Akagi...

[Ominous music!]

[Unbeknownst to anyone, something strange began to happen seconds after that as this video continues to play on the community in real time, giving title credits, actors and such. However, none of the people from this world seems to realize this.]

"A Tiny paradise amongst a sea of skyscrapers: Akihabara. There we find three warriors who believe pain is power, and who fight battles that exist entirely in their heads. They are... Hikonin Sentai Akibaranger!"

Comments

[Not Here]

[do_it_ecstatically]

[Gai's busy looking at the screen. And back to the screen. Gai Ikari, the Super Sentai fan who became a real Sentai is just dumbfounded by what he's seeing.]

Re: [Not Here]

[grandest_delusion]

[Can't take the extreme nerdiness when confronted, eh Gai? This is YOU.]

[sumofallreds]

[Marvelous can't help but slump defeated in his chair as he watches this...madness. It's like seeing Gai amplified by 1000.]

What....what did I just see?

[grandest_delusion]

[This is when Nobuo notices his cell phone is being weird.]

Eh? What's what?

[sumofallreds]

YOU. That's what.

[Scowlcam activate!]

[grandest_delusion]

[Stare. Tick. tick tick tick tick tick DING.]

No way... this can't be... it is...! Captain Marvelous phoning me! This must be a SIGN! First I get recruited to be Red and now this?! It's like a dream come true!

[sumofallreds]

[Head...hurts...so...much...]

I didn't call you. YOU appeared on my screen. Stupid ducks....

[hisownpath]

Maaaan... It's like a older, male and more extreme version of Yayoi.

... Um... Is everything okay over there? You looked really caught up in all of that stuff.

[grandest_delusion]

[It's sad when Yayoi is portrayed as remarkably sane compared to Nobuo.]

I'm uh, having difficulty with the merchandise. And a lot of things are cropping up that are giving me difficulty and uh... yeah.

[hisownpath]

Calm down for a minute! You're 28 years old and you're still playing with things like that?

[grandest_delusion]

29 actually, but I've devoted my life to being a fan of Super Sentai, and I recently got selected to become a Red!

[hisownpath]

Oh! Well... Good luck with that! Red's a pretty cool color if I can say so myself.

[yes_im_kawaii]

Auu? Is this TV?

[grandest_delusion]

Eh? [Guess who's getting bored waiting for his transformation item.]

No it's not TV. You another community person?

[yes_im_kawaii]

Auuuuu! *She flails and stumbles back.* It's a person! An actual person!

[grandest_delusion]

Oh sorry, I didn't think you'd react that way. [Embarrassed now.]

[yes_im_kawaii]

Well, it looked just like the things they show on the TVs in the store windows.

[Video. Because Hiroya Matsumoto]

[boostup4beetbuster]

Huh, you're not in the file. And since when do we have "Unofficial" Sentai?

Re: [Video. Because Hiroya Matsumoto]

[grandest_delusion]

AAAAAAAH! Hiroya Matsumoto! Tsubasa Ozu from Magiranger! Wait, wait you look older... could it be you've been asked back to play him again?!

Re: [Video. Because Hiroya Matsumoto]

[boostup4beetbuster]

That's the second time someone mentioned these Magiranger guys to me. I really got to meet that Tsubasa guy sometime.

Re: [Video. Because Hiroya Matsumoto]

[grandest_delusion]

W-wait you're not Tsubasa Ozu but you ARE in Super Sentai? Are you that Jin guy from Tokumei Sentai Go-Busters?

[nowarningshots]

...the hell did I just watch?

[grandest_delusion]

I know, laugh it up I... what the heck are you?

[nowarningshots]

Oi, oi, that's rude! You don't see me going 'round, asking people what they are! Geez, what, have you never seen a non-human before or something?

[grandest_delusion]

I haven't seen anything non-human except in Toei shows! You kind of look like one of the monster suits though, except real...