[Denzel can be seen in his broken down and quite frankly messy room. Speaking to himself which isn't all that unusual. Crocker is making very immature faces in the video camera before continuning on]

I shall record this for future generations so that all may learn - [Finger twindle]

[Denzel is intruppted by this mother who comes literally banging in though the door by destorying the door with battering ram.]

Denzel Crocker! Can you stop the crazy long enough to help mommy?

MOTHER STOP INTERRUPTING! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY RANTING!?

But you need to put on this dress so I can hem it for the big dance tonight.

[Ms. Crocker quickly puts the red rubber dress on her son and somehow cartoon undresses the man in the process]

I HATE MONLINGER DRESSES!... Although it does make me feel pretty. Oh well, not like anyone I know can see this.
[Or can they?]

...Who pinged?! SOMEONE OPENED MY FILE! Most people would assume this was the work of a hacker but I know some child most have wished himself into the internet with the help of his - FAIRY GODPARENTS!

(Denzel is blue and Ms. Crocker is pink)

[an ancient TV flickers to life in what looks to be the basement of the worst episode of Hoarders ever, or a very badly-kept pawn shop. bric-a-brac, large machinery, and crates labeled in a variety of languages and symbols are everywhere. An aging man with a gigantic nose and receding frizzy hair is standing in the middle of it all, bent over what looks like a jury-rigged executioner's chair. he tightens the last of a series of car seatbelts around the man in the chair...

who happens to be a very concerned-looking Kevin Brown. Agent Jay stands by off to one side, near a console that looks cannibalized together from old Mac computers and various machine parts. he looks completely unconcerned, if a little impatient.]

Have you removed all your jewelry? [Kevin just stares at him, unimpressed. does he look like he wears jewelry, moron?] ... Are you allergic to shellfish?

JEEBS!

RIGHT THEN. Smoke 'em if you got 'em. [he moves over to the console and pulls the start cord on an outboard motor attached to the whole thing. it starts to clatter to life, slowly]

[Jay shoots Jeebs an uncertain look] You ever used this thing before?

I used the exhaust once to make some hot-air popcorn, but that's about it. OKAY! Let's make it happen, Cap'n! [the hodgepodge deneuralyzer starts to hum and whir - various gadgets attached from the console to the chair rattle - eggbeaters, literal bells and whistles, pipes .... and then the power blows. the room goes pitch black.] Hmmmmm. [as fast as it was gone, the power comes back back on. the pipes and wires all start to shake, lights attached to the console flash erratically, and all three participants in the process look sufficiently unsettled. it all looks as though it could fall apart at any second, and just as it seems like it might, a teakettle whistles, the chair tips flat onto its back, and Kevin is shot out of it onto the floor, steam whistling from his ears. Jay looks less than satisfied - since it's possible the alien pawnbroker could've just killed his former partner. for his part, though, Jeebs just beams] Perfect!

[the agent and the alien lean over Kevin ... and Jeebs' head explodes in a shower of green goo. Jay beams.] You're back.

[understatement of the century: Kevin is less than pleased.] No.

[... waitwhat? Jay frowns] Then how'd you know his head'd grow back?

[his eyebrows crease in disappointment] It grows back?

Real nice. See, that's the last time I help out a friend.

You remember anything?

[but Kevin's already on his feet, heading past Jeebs as his head grows back to normal size, not even looking back] Goodbye.

Kay, WAIT! I never got the updated software - still workin' off the 6.0. Your brain needs to reboot!

KAY!

Bottom of my heart, Jay, really sorry. I hope this doesn't affect our friendship. All those years of loyalty and trust ... respect for one another ...

[the back wall of the basement explodes in a shower of concrete and rubble, and four nasty-looking alien thugs muscle their way into the storeroom. acting fast, Jay's already diving out of the way. Jeebs points after him, not missing a beat]

Right over there!

Where's Kay?

He's not here, he -- [Jeebs' head explodes again. as he falls over, Jay's standing behind him, pistol in hand]

Kay is officially retired, I'm his trigger-happy replacement. Something I can do for you gentlemen?

Oh great, right in the pie-hole. Now nothin's gonna taste right.

Lower your weapon.

[Jay drops his voice an octave to match the alien's, pointing his gun at the thugs surrounding him] Noooo.

[there's the faintest jingle of the front door bells, upstairs. sorry, Jay, you're on your own...]

((OOC: Action will continue in the threads! You are absolutely encouraged to interrupt our boys as things progress.))

( cut for badass rap video, yo )

What y'all think? The new video's bangin', right?

( Cut for length - and a worm eating a subway car... )

((OOC: And thus was Jay pushed to the beginning of MIIB anything in bold is anyone other than Jay))

[The video opens to a shot of the torso of a man in a black suit. He gestures, pointing as he talks to someone]

Naw, naw, don't give me none of that bullshit, T. What I tell you 'bout messin' with them Ditroxans, man? I told you they was gonna toss yo ass in the Hudson but did y'all listen to me? Naw. You had to go in all [his voice drops into a mocking baritone] Now don't tell me, Jay, I know what I'm doing. [His voice raises to its normal register and he waves an arm, dismissing the other man] Now get yo dumb ass home and take a shower 'cause... damn.

[He sighs and plops down in his computer chair, shaking his head and muttering to himself]

Don't know the difference between an arm and a... [He spots the video feed and his eyes get wide] The hell?

[He hits a few keys on the keyboard. Nope. it isn't going away.] Q? Girl, you been messin' with my computer, again?

[He looks around, but gets no response. Making a frustrated noise he hits the keys harder this time... as if that's going to make a difference.]

Frank? Frank! What I tell you 'bout playin' with my station, man? If you been usin' my webcam in those nasty-ass chatrooms again, I swear...