Alright. Which one of you stole my owl?

[Have a view, people of DDD, of Severus Snape, sleeping in his four-poster bed. The bedding is green and silver - a perfect match for the house colors of Slythern. What is not a perfect match is the little cowboy hat perched on Severus's head as he sleeps.]

[OOC: I have decided that Snape won't be able to get the hat off his head because OMG so much more fun that way. MUWAHAHAHAHA!]

[In extreme close-up is what appears to be a parasol. It starts spinning and a familiar (to some) voice can be heard, all excited and enthusiastic.]

Wheeee!!! Wheee!!!

[The parasol keeps on spinning then it's abruptly lifted and Cosmo can be seen spinning it around over his head - even though he's tiny in comparison. While he plays with it, the parasol suddenly closes and something shoots up from its tip into the ceiling. Cosmo looks upward, blinks then opens the parasol again, He's suddenly drenched in a mist of what may be water. He looks confused then as quickly recovers, laughs and begins twirling the parasol again. Water droplets fly everywhere.]

Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

My hat is missing. I know I didn't leave it at that ballroom mansion. Anybody seen it?

And what the hell is this? I found it on my desk today.

[Jack holds up what some may recognise as Denzel Crocker's fairy tracker.]

What does 'Fairy Godparents Exist' supposed to mean? Is this some fairy-tale Cinderella thing? Maybe someone's kid left it behind?

[Gellert appears on screen. He has what looks like a thick, short branch of wood in his hand. Not realising that this is, in fact, Buffy's stake, he tries flicking it in the air.]

This is a very useless wand...

It seems that strange occurances are happening again in the community. This appeared in place of my proper wand. It's similar but bigger and very unwieldy for spells... Beside the fact that it does nothing to channel them.

[River is sitting atop a high pile of cushions on a crate - her throne - and wearing a nice crown. A very nice crown. Actually, some of you might recognise it as Azula's Fire Lord crown. She is grinning a little too smugly and looking as regal as a dishevelled girl can.]

There's been a shift in power. Changes in the system of government. [She taps the crown.] I overthrew the community and I'm Queen now. It's okay, I'm a benevolent ruler. You can have cake and bread. A misquotation, but you can have them anyway. We're going to build a new society.

But it's still a monarchy and you still have to listen to me. [She smiles cheekily - but after a moment of sitting there frozen, it starts to slip, and something takes a serious turn in the mood.] Because they... There's punishment for bad little ones who won't listen or talk or jump when they say jump, [she snaps it, nearly shouts,] they'll loop pretty ropes around our brittle bones and snap, and we can't get rid of corporal punishment, oh no. No, it's too deep, too deep in the roots and if you want to take them out you have to take the whole tree - but it's all connected, if you take the tree out it's going to die and we'll, we'll all--

[She's trembling slightly. Her hands are shaking more violently. She's muttering to herself, fast and low.]

There's something, there was, [she sways to the side a little and her head turns dazedly - then she sits bolt upright and her head snaps back to the front.] Something was lost in the exchange. Conservation of energy, the law of equality, you can't get something for nothing. It was...

Medicine. I lost... There was a cure. Simon's. I can't find it. It puts the cotton back in my mouth. Is there a lost and found?

See, now you've gotten me into this whole "community does everything" thing. I'm going to give you guys the benefit of the doubt and say that one of you wasn't stupid enough to try and steal the Millennium Falcon because I'd hate to come and retrieve it by shooting you.

So, whoever has it has roughly 30 seconds to return me my ship or I'm afraid that I'm going to have to look for it with Chewie. And I don't think anyone wants to get their arms ripped off today.

[it's so rare for Rufus to show himself in such a state, but thanks to someone stealing his alarm clock (read: pet leopard) he didn't wake up for his morning run. so, as the grump miester stumbles down the stairs only to find his two other cats stretching on something.]

If that's another one of Tseng's jackets, he isn't [yawn] going to be- [nope, just Reeve's ugly coat.

Oh, they're getting treats today.]

[The video manages to come on to show familiar suit of armor , for those who know Shuten, though there is an unfamiliar face in the helmet. Purple eyes go from slowly opening to completely wide, her hands moving to feel what it was she was wearing. Even as she kicks off the sheets and runs to a mirror, the camera somehow follows.]

Oh, no! [She knows what this is! She's seen him wearing it and she knows it's name. Hands fumble in an attempt to get the armor off, not sure what kind of latch to be looking for.

This wasn't going to be a good day]

[The video feed comes on to find Rachel, all smiles, as though she's to give a presidential sort of speech. Maybe she is. Either way, it seems important. She clears her throat.]

Dear community, and particularly, members of the glee club whom I don't happen to like very much,

It has come to my attention that, unlike me, a lot of you happen to be missing things. In lieu of this mess, I seem to have come across a little tool that will make my rise to stardom and inevitable popularity much, much easier.

I'm currently making a list of those of you whom I happen to dislike. Should any of the people on that list double-cross me, insult me, or make my life any harder than it already is, drastic consequences will come upon those individuals post-haste.

You may consider this a two-strike system, which I think more than fair. Presently on this list are:

Quinn Fabray
Santana Lopez

Should you wish to escape your inevitable execution, I suggest that you start being nice to me.

[Someone seems to be finding this virus pretty amusing.] I'm not certain, but I think this is probably Thor's.

[Flynn holds up something that looks more like a sledgehammer than an actual warhammer, but whatever. Magical artifacts can look like whatever they want.]

...Honestly, I thought it would be heavier. [Guess who's pure enough of heart he can pick the thing up?]

[there's the faint hiss of white noise and the flicker of static as the microphone clicks on. as a very pale boy comes into focus. and for once, it happens to seem intentional as he lets his eyes settle on the camera. lets his fingers drum - and once - thoughtfully on the box he has upon his lap.]

I am not entirely certain who this garment happens to belong to, however... [and he's delicate as he tips the box toward the camera. delicate, as he lets long fingers hook under the lid. lift it.

inside, neatly folded, is a kimono. a wedding kimono. he seems to have taken great care to refold it properly so it does not wrinkle or tear. does not become damaged. and the material seems to be quite expensive, so it is notable when he does not touch it with his hands. does not think to reach in to display it:] I tend to think it is one that will be notably missed.

[a beat. and he goes to speak, but pauses. stills.

cuts the feed. out.]

[Oh, what's this? York is wearing a snazzy white fedora!]

People have been asking me where I got this hat all day. I said it's from the internet - it's true, isn't it? - but there might not even be wireless in Greenvale, so it might not stick. So, who does it belong to?

[... And then, as if believing nobody's going to notice, he does that thing where he turns away and presses two fingers to his temple again:] Honestly, Zach, I wouldn't mind keeping this. It's a very nice hat. But we need to recover the item we've lost, too. With any luck, it'll be a simple exchange.

What is this? [he holds up Flynn's disk before hitting it on every known surface.] It glows, yet has no purpose. Is it merely for show? [holding up and looking under it.] 'Tis useless, surely.

CURSE THE COMMUNITY! OFF ALL THE ITEMS TO TAKE?! THEN TO HAVE THE ARMOR RECEIVED BY SOMEONE WHO HAS NO CLUE HOW TO HANDLE IT?!

The armor is a deadly weapon in a trained soldier's hand! Giving it to someone who can't wield it is asking for certain death.

I need to get to Roze Thomas's world.

Shin, if you are able I would like your assistance in this case.

[Kefka is on top of a tall spire of rock, standing on his tip toes, and he's holding a paintbrush in midair. His eyes are closed, serene.]

[Lightning strikes. A dragon appears from nowhere, shaking off black liquid--ink?--and curling around the rock, leaving trails of ink where scale brushes stones. A second appears, then a third, until there are six of them drawing over the rock.]

Alright, Ink Dragons! Stop fluffing around. I have a job for you!

[The dragons tangle up to listen at Kefka's feet.]

Go find whoever stole the Gem Box! Bring it back along with whoever took it! [One dragon squeaks.] No, they don't have to be alive. When you find the thing that the community used to steal it, bring it to me however you please!

[And he looks up the screen.] And you! Community! If you see my Gem Box, you should bring it back!

[The view will be continually blocked as various items of clothing are tossed over the lens.

There is a lot of muttering every so often there's an annoyed grunt.

Finally Crown Prince Arthur will appear in frame looking very irritated indeed.]

"Where the Hell...Merlin? Merlin! Get in here!"

[A few moments pass and it becomes clear his servant isn't going to show up any time soon. Throwing his hands up in despair Arthur returns to his hunting.]

"Stupid circlet."

( OOC cut for context lol )

Anyone here on this community named Jecht? Or maybe Auron or Braska? I've got some things that might belong to them.

The item I lost was a paintbrush.

( Locked to Natsume )

I WILL MURDER WHOEVER HAS MY WAND IF THEY DO NOT RETURN IT THIS INSTANT.

'Grimoire for Summoning the Zoologically Dubious'. Normally, I would not complain about the kitschy book cover and title. However, it is remarkably impractical for combat and a severe drop in power from my usual spellbook, in addition to looking childish.

[Considering the dark forces contained within, that's a bit telling.]

Would the owner of this book kindly return the Revelation of the Gods to me? I have some attachment to it.

I demand to be taken to the home of this...person, creature, whatever he may be. He is in possession of my parasol and in his hands it has already caused significant damage. I must have it returned to me immediately.

I cannot help wondering if my missing dispatch case is the fault of the community as well. If it is there are some choice words I have for it.

I am willing to compensate anyone who can give my the worldhop I require. I have just landed in Scotland and shall be there for some time. Please find me there and take me to my parasol.

[There is a REALLY PISSED OFF RUSSIAN GIRL on your screen right now, DDD.]

The first thing I would like to ask.

Where is my sword?! Who the hell has my sword! I demand it's return immediately!

[And now she's holding up Renji's Zanpakuto.]

And who does this annoying sword belong to?

I do not want it! Someone come and take it right now!




It is talking to me! Literally speaking with me and the things it is not saying is making me want to leave it Limbo to cruel devices. I am saying you should come claim it now before I make it not exist here soon.