[accidental video]

[lazyfacepalm]

--ind of virus?

[A feed opens up, directly in the middle of the man's conversation with himself, looking rather confused and showing mild signs of tension and worry.]

Looks like some BBS of sorts. What in the world did Haruhi install on this thing...

...Did she just find the ducks amusing or something? Is it their mascot? What...

[The video continues with him currently displeased, and confused. And the camera rolls...]

Comments

[denies]

You might not want to say that too loudly. Some of them might take it as a challenge and start some game with you in which they kill your family over and over.

Believe me, it's not fun.

[lazyfacepalm]

Some game, that sounds like mass murder to me! (Sorry, but if you're expecting me to go along with a joke dealing with that? You've got another thing coming...)

Come on, that's enough of that. Come back to reality.

[denies]

If you think I'm doing something lame like roleplaying right now then you're wrong, you know.

[lazyfacepalm]

If we were, then I'd like to know before hand. I can be a mean witch too. Wanna have a tea party?

[Because he's still not buying it.]

[denies]

You aren't a witch.

[ even though she's sort of using magic (what else could spoken colored text be, let's be honest here), she's still straight faced. ]

.. Still don't believe me? Or are you going to make up some ridiculous theory now as to how that special effect happened?

[lazyfacepalm]

(Wh-what the hell...?!)

What was that?! Why did...

[denies]

Interesting, isn't it? [ still the straightest face and most deadpan tone. ]

[lazyfacepalm]

(What...what's with this girl...at least smile once in a while! But I guess that'd be pretty creepy from where I stand...)

...Do it again! That thing you just did! How...

[denies]

You want to see it that badly, huh? In case you're wondering what it's all about, the red only tells the truth.

.. Satisfied yet, or do I have to do it again? At this rate it's starting to feel like some lame magician's trick.

[lazyfacepalm]

... (You're telling me that whatever is said in red just tells the truth, like that?!)

Once more, I'm right-handed. Say that for me.

[denies]

You are right-handed.

[ a beat. ]

Man, now I almost know what that witch must've felt like.

[lazyfacepalm]

(Aren't you a witch anyway?!)

..............

You are right-handed!

[He awaits flashy red-ness.]

[denies]

[ sorry, kyon, you can't be the battler to ange's beatrice just yet, apparently. she needs to murder your family first. ]

Only witches can do that, don't even bother. You'd just end up looking like an idiot.

[lazyfacepalm]

(Somehow I knew nothing would happen.)

So that means that thing you can do just proves you're some witch, then.

...Great. Just one thing after another. Isn't that thing weird anyway? You can just say just about anything on accident, and it'll be red if it's true.

[denies]

No, it's something you have to do on purpose. It's not like everything I say that's true instantly turns red or anything, that'd be pretty weird and annoying, not to mention not practical. [ she shrugs. ]

Do you get it now?

[lazyfacepalm]

(Playing Truth or Dare with you might be more fun than it would be on paper...)

I guess. Could you say "witches exist" then? Or "magic does exist!"

"Santa Claus is real!"

[denies]

I could. But.. do you really think a witch is going to proclaim her own existence to be fake? [ well, not that she's fully a witch, but hey, let him believe what he wants. ]

Besides, that way would make it boring.

[lazyfacepalm]

Does that mean I can say you're lying to me? (Of course, no one human can actually do something like that.)

...And that Santa Claus is real?

[denies]

You're free to go ahead and say that. After all, I wouldn't want to ruin your innocent childhood beliefs.

[lazyfacepalm]

Oh no, please don't. [Of course, after this, he eases up a little.]

...Can I ask how you became something like that? I can't see you just being born one.

[denies]

[ kyon, why do you ask the questions that are the easiest to abuse with answers which taken out of context (and in context, but..) are really weird but legit.. ]

I jumped off a skyscraper and became one.

[lazyfacepalm]

Will I ever get a straight answer from you.

[denies]

Hey, do you want a honest answer or a straight answer? You can't always have both.

Besides, it's pretty simple, isn't it?

[lazyfacepalm]

Sure, but what sense does it make?! None!

[denies]

Actually, when you try looking at it from another perspective [ no chessboard flipping here, okay ] it makes a lot of sense. After all, if you could become a witch through some mundance activity, everyone would be one.