[video]

[madeitsquare]

[... Huh. Odd video here. Looks kind of like... Scrooge is recording this inside a tiny locked room?]

I've gotta be quick. My nephews caught wind of what I'm planning to do, and they want to stop me, but I have to do this!

Somebody, go on a date with me. I'll pay.

[THIS IS THE MOST DASTARDLY VIRUS EVER.]

Comments

[unknownrival]

This is a terrifying virus!

[madeitsquare]

What's that?

[unknownrival]

You are offering to pay for something unnecessary.

[madeitsquare]

Do you honestly think anybody would go for a date with me if I didn't promise money?

[unknownrival]

Yes.

[material_guy]

SOLD!

[madeitsquare]

...

Well, darn, I guess you'll do.

[material_guy]

Damn right I'll do! We'll go shopping!

[madeitsquare]

Now hold on! I only offered to pay for the date itself.

[material_guy]

A shopping date's a date. The shopping part of a shoppnig date's part of a shopping date. It's right there in the name.

[didiscareyouyet]

Hey, mister, are you okay?

[madeitsquare]

For now, I am.

[didiscareyouyet]

If you're that lonely, you can play with me.

[madeitsquare]

Bah! Do I look like I've got the time to play with little children? I didn't even when I was a child!

[didiscareyouyet]

I'm not a kid and it's better than being alone, right? You wouldn't even have to pay me.

[makewayforroze]

What's wrong?

[madeitsquare]

...

That's none of your business! I just want a date!

[makewayforroze]

If you would tell me, I could help.

[madeitsquare]

With a date?

[makewayforroze]

By being a friend.

[mightletyouknowme]

Wow, you are desperate.

[She says this without even knowing how stingy he normally is.]

[madeitsquare]

I just thought people might need the incentive.

[mightletyouknowme]

Desperate.

Since when do ducks date people?

[madeitsquare]

Oh, shush.

Well, I don't discriminate!... As long as you people have normal noses.

[mightletyouknowme]

At least you have SOME standards.