(no subject)

[sandinmyboots]

[Behold: a bed in a stone-hewn bedroom. A bed full of sheets and rather more quilts than are probably necessary. There is movement under the quilts like the beginnings of an earthquake. Something rolls out from under the quilts and onto the floor, something small and blonde and wearing fluffy red pajamas.]

I'm awake, Sarge...ugh. I'm up, I'm up. [Kefka sits up and rubs his face. He looks tired, and his hair is long and tangled.] How am I expected to get up when there's nothing to get up for? At least being in the military meant I had a proper schedule.

[Then he notices the floating camera.] Hey! Community book! [He jumps up and tackles it, sending the screen blurring red and grey and blonde. When it recovers, Kefka's set the book up so it can face him on a white vanity; the table is covered with cosmetics.]

[Kefka picks up a brush and waves it at the camera.] You have to stay here so I can talk to you, you naughty page-flapping phase-clapper! [He pauses, then adds matter of factly:] My connection to the community is alive, so I have to make sure it's paying attention to what I say or it'll fly off and ditch me for a few months like a very very bad flying book monster. It looks like a lot of you are new, so let's get some introductions going!

I am Sir Kefka Palazzo, formerly of the Gestahlian Empire, currently god of the world of Woolsey. [He bows.] I'm bored out of my mind because it turns out 90% of being a god is doing upkeep to make sure the world is running properly, make sure the monsters are fed, blah blah blah I need something to do. If you need a fighting companion, new armor or weapons, healing supplies, miracle cures, et cetera, I can provide it for a reasonable price! Or we can talk! Talking is very reasonable and I want to know all of you new people. [Beat.] Talk to me now. Do it.

Comments

[aquaticrush]

I'm not sure what to talk to you about!

[sandinmyboots]

Tell me about an activity that's taken up your attention lately. You must have some sort of hobby, yes? What consumes your mind?

[lil_tanuki]

Miracle cure? [Try not to derail too much there Kefka.] Well maybe. I'll think about it.

We can talk though. I've been playing a game lately.

[sandinmyboots]

Miracle cure with god powers! For very reasonable prices and deals! I am so bored that I have become very magnagi -magnigon - manga - [facepalm, and then he looks back up with a grin] Temporarily benevolent!

What sort of game is this? A deadly game or a normal game?

[havesomedeath]

Whoa, an actual god? Neat! I've never met a god before! There sure are a lot of interesting people on the community, ha ha!

Oh, I'll introduce myself too, since I'm one of the newbies! I'm Henry, nice to meetcha!

[sandinmyboots]

Yep, an actual god! That is me.

Henry, huh? Nice to meet you. What's your world like?

[former_endboss]

...do you do jailbreaks, oh god?

[sandinmyboots]

Yes, yes I do! Give me a time and place and there will be some jails broken!

[unknownrival]

Hello, Kefka. I'm sorry to hear you were bored.

[sandinmyboots]

Yes. It's terrible! You should fix it at once!

[makewayforroze]

I didn't think you were coming back.

[sandinmyboots]

Like I'd leave so quietly! I'm going out with a bang! Hahahahaha!

[refinedvillian]

I wonder if you're really as powerful as you claim. What is it you can do, aside from the daily maintenance of monster feeding?

[sandinmyboots]

What part of 'god' did you not get through your thick skull? Use a little imagination about the sheer might of someone consumed with the magic of a world! I've leveled and rebuilt the world! My powers can wipe towns off the map and crack continents! I can fight any pissant with a bad attitude, buddy.

[chestboard]

Ke... Kefkaaaaaa?! It feels like it's been forever!

[sandinmyboots]

Battler! Battlerrrrr! It's been so long! My connection ran off to who knows where and I couldn't get it back and now I am back! What did I miss?! What's going on with you??

video;

[selfished]

Yo, the new people ain't very interesting. I dunno if talking to them is gonna make your day anymore fun! [ But even so, Kyouko is grinning widely like she's at least having the time of her life here. ]

They might just bore ya to death!

[sandinmyboots]

Well, better die in company than all alone! Then they'll get to clean up after me, hahahaha!

How have you been?

INCOMING NERD ALERT! /bodyslams

[pathofthorns]

Kefka Palazz-AS IN THE FINAL BOSS FROM FINAL FANTASY SIX!?

[her meh geeeeeeeeeerb its Kefka! gosh i hope kefka-senpai notices me today!

OMG EEEEEE [hi five!!!]

[sandinmyboots]

The one and only! [He quickly applies some lipstick and eye make up to give him his characteristic look, ponytails his hair up, jumps off his seat and spins around whistling the victory theme.]

[...he's shorter in person.]

[masked_god]

You could always come visit me, you know.

[sandinmyboots]

I was having trouble with the world hop! And my bed, it was comfortable! I didn't want to leave it.

[....kefka, not being able to get out of bed for a few months is generally not a good sign.]

A MOMENT OF DESTINY

[twobloomsup]

[Stanley didn't really understand most of that. God and monsters? Woolsey? What?

But he hears the last part and he brightens up.]

I can talk to you! What would you like to talk about?

DUN DUN DUUUUN

[sandinmyboots]

Let's talk about you. Who are you and what are you doing here?

[Someone who listens to him! Someone who is obedient! Kefka is all over this.]

[embersandashes]

This sort of thing is the reason why I thought you would get me a strange birthday present, for the record.

[sandinmyboots]

What sort of thing? There's nothing strange about this.

[rosejam]

Being bored isn't a very good feeling, I agree... However, would this miracle cure be due to magic?

[sandinmyboots]

Yep! The magnificent magic powers of a god!

[tenminutes]

I'm not talking to you.

[ Just because he said to do it..

what a loser here.. ]

[sandinmyboots]

What! How rude!