[As a video is triggered Selina can be seen curled up on her chair right in front of the computer, bundled tighter than a California roll. She’s burrowed up to her eyes under what appears to be an armada of wool blankets. Apart from her own pale eyes, the pointed black tips of what are clearly Miss Kitty’s ears can be briefly glimpsed before disappearing.

There’s a barely visible mug of what appears to be steaming-hot cocoa with miniature marshmallows cupped in her hands, but something is amiss. While it’s winter in her world, Selina shouldn’t have to be so weighed down by all this heavy material.

Upon closer observation, a network of rime has settled into even the remotest corners of the room, covering everything with a thick layer of frost and the vaguest traces of mist. Not that it could make things worse, but the ceiling also appears to be raining tiny flakes of ice.

She’s gazing at the community as if she wants to say something, but she’s too reluctant to lift her head out of the warm cocoon of her blankets. Eventually (which is to say several minutes later) she pokes her head out long enough to address the community:]

What the hell?



(ooc: Frost, it's a metaphor for the glacial edge she's adopted to her personality...and she spent the past few evenings in the presence of the person she loathes most which doesn't help at all.)

[Selina’s ability to lock is actually pretty good now, but not super secret agent good so if your hacking skills are better, then anyone she’s locked out might be able to hack in. If they have the ambition and means.]

Since the community promises to be a constant thorn in my side for the foreseeable future, I might as well say this since it is one thing I can do of my own free will.

Some of you are aware of my…situation…and since trying to hide it would be an exercise in futility I’m not going to bother. Yes, I have launched a vendetta against a certain someone and I fully intend to see it through to its inevitable conclusion.

Unfortunately, as with all of life's grand goals…I have a couple of obstacles. I knew from the start the vigilante, Batman, would get involved…but I was naïve in thinking that the community would stand by and watch idly.

It doesn’t seem so. Not that the regular broadcasts are doing me any favors.

I have no quarrel with anyone here and I don’t want to have to go through gods and other well meaning heroes just to accomplish what I feel I’m justified in doing. I have no interest in killing anyone else.

Stay out of my way.




[ooc: Selina is starting to get a little edgy, especially after this conversation with Thor. She doesn't necessarily have anything against SHIELD, but she is aware that Thor has a connection to SHIELD...and Thor...Thor you glorious well meaning pain in the butt. Isn't the Batman enough?]

I have recently been made aware that a great war hero by the name of Steve Rogers is member of this community.

I have something that I would like to talk to him about...it's not an urgent matter and I understand heroes have a very...active life. So no pressure or anything, it's a pretty casual request actually.

Anyway...I'd like to make this contact as discreet as possible and I would be grateful for anyone's...assistance...in making this contact.

( It happened one night! )






[Unfortunately the community will miss all the lovely explosions and events that follow which will make this next scene slightly perplexing.

It looks as though Selina made it home in one piece, but somewhere along the way she managed to tear the mask of her catsuit up just a little bit...and the material on her left arm seems to have been burnt or melted away which is nothing compared to the disfigurement of her upper arm.]

Tch...that Batman really is a bastard [when she goes to brush herself off fine granules of rock and dust fly everywhere] because of him I have eight lives left...he could be a real nuisance if I'm not...oh?

[She just remembered that the community seems interested in every untoward aspect of her life so she'll take a seat in front of her ill gotten computer and with a how d'ye do hand wave she becomes more engaging...might as well.]

Since you're probably watching could you all be little lambs and tell me what you know about burn remedies?

( cut for video and...er...blood? )

[A few hours later Selina can be seen draped on her couch in her freshly decorated apartment...it's a lot less pink and a lot more black.

Since the community is horrible with the whole keeping of secret identities thing she can be seen without her mask, but still in the suit, making the connection between Catwoman and Selina painfully evident.

Everybody just loves a vigilante though, right?]

All in a night's work Miss Kitty [no, she's not talking to herself, a slender black cat comes sauntering up to her] it might be enough to knock Cobblepot off of the front page, but that's just a start...It's time to put ourselves on good old Max's radar.

[It takes her a moment or two to realize she's being recorded by her newly acquired computer...don't ask. Clearly this kind of invasion will turn into a major thorn in her side if it continues.]

Is it possible for a gal to get a little privacy?

[That's right, the shows over, just as soon as she shuts off the monitor.]

[The video begins and the viewer is greeted by a view of Selina Kyle entering her apartment with its faded pink walls, very 90s, very…quaint…or small…]

Honey, I'm home.

[Beat]

Oh, I forgot. I'm not married.

[Then she goes through a series of motions, as though she’s done this a thousand times before. Drops her keys on the table, turns on the lamp, drapes her coat over the back of the chair and then sojourns into the kitchen where there is an open window…and through the open window slinks a beautiful black cat]

Miss Kitty...Back from more sexual escapades you refuse to share [as she removes a carton of cat formulated milk from the refrigerator that she pours into a small bowl] not that I'd ever pry. Drink your dinner.

[Miss kitty looks up at her a yowls]

What? "How can anyone be so pathetic?" Yes, to you I seem pathetic. [with Miss Kitty squared away Selina leaves the kitchen and heads toward her bedroom, hitting her answering machine on the way] But I'm a working girl, gotta pay the rent. Maybe if you were chipping in, 'stead of stepping out...

[While pulling down her Murphy bed a voice can be heard coming from the other room, distinctly female]

Selina dear. It's your mother. Just calling to say hello…

Yeah right, "but"… [like any petulant child she rolls her eyes]

…"but" I'm disappointed you're not coming home for Christmas. I wanted to discuss just why you insist on languishing in Gotham City as some lowly secretary…

Lowly "assistant".

[The answering machine beeps and message one ends moving on to message two, this time it’s a man’s voice]

Selina, about that Christmas getaway we planned? I'll be going alone. Doctor Shaw says I need to be my own person now, and not an appendage.

[Selina hits the fast forward button on the machine before dropping into a nearby chair inhabited by embarrassing stuffed toys, her face fixed into a sullen expression]

Some appendage…Well the party never stops on Selina Kyle's answering machine…Guess I should've let him win that last racquetball game.

[And just as she’s starting to make herself comfortable, toying with the taser she nicked from the clown the next message rolls]

Hi, Selina, this is yourself calling. To remind you, honey, that you have to come all the way back to the office unless you remembered to bring home the Bruce Wayne file [she quickly jumps out of her comfortable spot and begins to scramble around for her coat and shoes] because the meeting's on Wednesday…

Stupid corndog!

[And as she's at the door the video cuts...

...only to open once more with Selina back a Shreck Industries.]

~*What did curiosity do to the cat?*~

[Cut]

((ooc: She will not be responding to this for obvious reasons XD Is Kefka getting his wish? Lol.))

[The video opens on an extravagant conference room with a round-faced friendly cat bedecking the walls. In the middle of the room is a large around table occupied by four men, but only two are engaged in conversation. Man one is a snowy-haired individual in a respectable gray suit, man two is also snowy on top, but he looks as though he might have crawled out of a cliché mafia movie.

Selina can be seen making her circuit around the table pouring coffee.]

( cut to save the f-list + video )


((ooc: Normal text is the Mayor, bold text is Max, italics is Max's son, Chip. Selina is defined by the purple text.))

Oh...so this is one of those recurring events? I guess it would have been idiotic of me to think it was a one time thing...not that I mind, it just seems to happen while I'm at work...I guess that's because I have a computer at work and not at home. It makes sense.

This would be a good time for me to say thank you though, for the reassurance, I talked to maintenance and apparently there's nothing wrong...and no one saw this...community so I didn't get into any trouble, but I did have to stay late...a little.

That wasn't a problem though, actually, it gave me a chance to look over some of the files for Mr. Shreck's future Power Plant...actually some of the plans don't make any sense...oh, but you don't want to know about that.

I just wanted to say thank you...

...and sorry, Sinbad, I couldn't get in touch with anyone by the name of Jafar...not one who knew you anyway...and I used all of my contacts. I hope you were able to find who you were looking for...er...and that you found something to block you from the desert sun. Nothing can ruin a good day like a bad case of melanoma.

[As the feed cuts to the on position the community is greeted by an image of this woman...not particularly dazzling, especially while wearing spectacles you know your grandma used to wear. She also seems to be a little bit on the frazzled side as is not uncommon with the new and the blessedly benighted community members.]

Oh darn!

[She gives her computer screen a little slap which results in the screen going dark for a second before coming back into focus.]

Shoot, shoot, shoot...I didn't mean it, don't die on me now! I'm sure that wouldn't impress Mr. Shreck...breaking the equipment...

[She scrubs her hands over her face looking slightly panicked and frustrated.]

Not even here for a week and already I'm messing up the programs and the equipment, Selina you're such a deep fried corn dog...a thousand things to do...something was just bound to go wrong. That's the law of probability, right?

[Once the self-loathing has a chance to pass through her system the woman, Selina, sits back in her chair exhaling slowly. It seems as though she's pulling herself together...somehow.]

Hoookay girl, get it together, there's bound to be a computer maintenance man on one of these floors...I mean, huge corporations usually have things like that, right? Right...so you [pints a finger decidedly at the screen]...don't go anywhere, not that you'll hear any arguments from me if you do.

[And soon enough she can be seen flipping through a Rolodex...this was before the days of those handy cellphone things and other computerized organizational equipment.]