(no subject)

[screwloose]

Yeah, yeah, the change in the community is really fascinating and I'm sure there's some explanation which I don't currently understand.

When someone figures it out, let me know.

Now that I have addressed that, I want to talk about something that's actually interesting.

Many of us may be aware that there are a lot of trolls on the community, and that apparently they are the last of their race. I'd like to see what we, as a community, can do about that.

They're kids. And they need our help.

So, scientists from advanced civilizations, come pool your cloning technologies here. I'm gathering DNA samples, so let's see what we can do with them.

I'm thinking test tube troll maggots and hopefully figuring out how to clone a new Queen Bee (they call them mother grubs) for these kids. Who's with me?

Comments

Scratch: Step right the fuck in.

[docfoul]

Trolls are a violent race.
Are you truly willing to experiment with such volatile biology?

Stein: Step off, Scratch

[screwloose]

Is there some reason why I shouldn't be?

[docfoul]

I am the greater authority here.
I can tell you right now that you will not be able to fabricate a new Mother Grub.

[screwloose]

Explain.

AGH FUCK TYPOS

[docfoul]

I am Alternia's first guardian. I have overseen the trolls' planet nearly from the moment of its creation and, as such, am intimately familiar with every aspect of it.
You cannot simply clone a "Queen Bee", nor can you create wigglers in test tubes.
If that were possible, I can assure you Her Imperious Condescension would have an army of genetically-engineered supersoldiers at her command.
As it stands, all she has is a following of bloodthirsty trolls.
Or, well, had.

[screwloose]

I have to admit that sounds bad. But I'm not going to give up that easily. Just because it's not possible in your universe doesn't mean it's not possible.

[docfoul]

Tell me, how do you intend to make wigglers from scratch, exactly?

[screwloose]

I intend to start with genetic material, and see if I can make an embryo, using hormone therapies and cloning techniques. It's pretty technical.

[docfoul]

I am perfectly capable of understanding technical speech, you know. Not only am I omniscient, I am also extremely intelligent.
But very well. For the benefit of whoever might be following this conversation, I will not press any further regarding that matter.

[screwloose]

I also don't really feel like explaining it. But unless you're going to try to stop me for some reason, I'm just going to go ahead and try. Maybe I'll fail, or maybe not. Either way, I'll learn something.

[docfoul]

Why would I stop you? I know you won't succeed before my death, and whatever happens after that is none of my business.
I am only giving you advice.
In fact, would you like some more? This is important.

[screwloose]

I don't know why you'd stop me, but it seems like you're trying to discourage me, which is weird.

Sure, what's the advice?

[docfoul]

The troll empress is still very much alive.
You may want to let her know about this idea of yours before you go through with it.

[touchofgenius]

The troll empress can suck our dicks. For starters, she's not the boss of us, and secondly it's not like we're not doing her a favor getting her more subjects.

Besides, Stein's a Pisces and I'm a Capricorn, which means we both get purple-y colored trolls, which essentially means the trolls think we're the shit, right?

[docfoul]

She will be arriving here soon, you know.
If she saw your comment, well, you might not like the consequences. Hee hee.

Actually, the Alternian zodiac and the Earth zodiac have nothing to do with each other. Your birth signs mean nothing to an average trolls.

[touchofgenius]

Don't you ever just speak plainly?

My birth signs match one of the trolls' symbols so obviously it means something.

[docfoul]

Would you rather if I said she would have you culled for your insolence? There you go.

Yes, it does. It means that, when the twelve trolls you know were rewarded for their victory at the game, they were immortalised in the world they created.
Nothing more. It's not about you, it's about them.

[touchofgenius]

Yes, at least it's more honest.

Wait wait, back up. "World they created". Are you seriously trying to tell me that the trolls created earth or something?

[docfoul]

That is exactly what I said.

[touchofgenius]

...Wait, seriously?

[screwloose]

Why? She'd object to us resurrecting her race?

[docfoul]

She might have particular demands.

[screwloose]

Well, if she does she can apply through the proper channels.

If she were on the community, I'd say she can just ask me. Since she's not, I'm not too worried about her opinion.

[docfoul]

I warn you that Alternian royalty was never known for their pacifistic demeanor.

[screwloose]

I still don't see what I should be worried about.