40; Anon Post; kefka is actually not exaggerating much this time; no seriously; i can't make this up

[sandinmyboots]

Dear Community,

I need your help.

I happen to be part of a friendly neighborhood crime syndicate. My sister is a cop and she is dating. However, thanks to my criminal connections, I know the man she is interested in happens to have his dead girlfriend taxidermied in his basement. (No, I don't know how she died. I'm pretty sure the fact that she's taxidermied in his basement is warning sign enough.)

How do I go about getting her to realize that he is not a good match for her without getting stabbed?

From, Worried Brother

[[All tags will be anon unless otherwise stated!]]

Comments

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[boostup4beetbuster]

Have you thought about trying to get photos?

[text]

[sandinmyboots]

[Drat! There are no cameras on his world. Taking a picture would be useless. But saying so would blow his cover, so. Uh.]

It's unlikely. If I snuck in and got caught, she'd blow a gasket. And if I did get them, would she dismiss them as being manipulated with Photoshop?

[HOW DOES TALKING ABOUT EARTH STUFF WORK. Wikipedia can only tell him so much!]

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[boostup4beetbuster]

Good point. Let's see...

How good is she at tracing people back to you? If you can manage to get someone hired very under-the-table, they might be able to get the evidence or at least if they get caught, you won't get traced to them.

Alternatively, there's coming up with some kind of ploy to get her down in that basement to see for herself.

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[sandinmyboots]

Most of my people are pretty obvious. [Given that they are a) monsters b) cultists or c) himself.]

[....hold on. He has illusion powers. He could disguise himself and then do it!]

But I bet I could find a way to do it so she can't connect it to me!

And that's possible. I'm not sure how to, though. I mean, it's a basement. You don't expect much in basements except food storage, right?

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[boostup4beetbuster]

Good! Especially since it's always hard to find a non-sketchy reason to bring someone into a basement.

[text]

[sandinmyboots]

Especially since I'm the mafia brother who she doesn't trust. I don't want to make things worse between us than they already are.

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[boostup4beetbuster]

Right, right. Looks like blaming it on someone else is the best option.

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[sandinmyboots]

Yep! I know of a ninja she knows. Maybe I could blame it on him!

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[boostup4beetbuster]

Perfect! Ninjas are easy to blame!

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[sandinmyboots]

Yes! You can't trust them because they're mercenary scum! And this one's particularly untrustworthy, going around and betraying the people he works for all the time!

[Kefka, he betrayed you to the good guys. He's proved his loyalty to the good guys ten times over. Betraying you was a good thing.]

I know what he likes, too, so I bet I can get him to cooperate for a safe amount of time.

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[boostup4beetbuster]

Just in case, make sure you use a proxy to hire him. If he's that much of a weasel, he might crack under pressure.

Re: [text]

[sandinmyboots]

He's hard to crack. I've never seen him blink under pressure. But that's a good point.

Re: [text]

[boostup4beetbuster]

Good luck then.

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[sandinmyboots]

Thank you!

[note to self: bug this guy later. maybe get him a gift in order to encourage this kind of kefka-helping behavior]

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[boostup4beetbuster]

Not a problem!