Alright! Listen up you punies. I, Jorgen Von Strangle, am your English Professor. For those of you in my class, I expect you to have read da Red Badge of Courage by Thursday. We shall be discussing dat! And if you don't learn proper English like me. You will do 500 push ups!

Understand? Good!

Now, see you at seven hundred hours!

To all my students, I expect your in depth Theoretical Science paper in my mailbox no later then 4:00 on Saturday evening.

The excuse that time is an infinite loop and the paper has been in my mail box after 4:00 pm and yet in theory still in on time isn't an excuse.

I look forward to reading your insights you have been researching this semester and wish you all the best of luck in the future.

[Teachers Lounge: Open to Staff]

Dr. Brown is chilling in the teacher' lounge with a cup of espresso. As he jots down things on his notepad.

So, Professors, how do your students really make you feel?

Or just general mingle!

Anyone willing to trade roommates?

And anyone here who thinks they're evil talk to me. I have a special unauthorized club here at the school.

[anon, published simultaneously on the network and in the school papers]

Hello, members of this glorious institution! You're here with me, Love Master Tori, here again to brighten up your world by fixing the problems in your lives. So...

LET THE LOVE ADVICE and general advice BEGIN



( seriously, ill-advised advice column here )

Well, that's all the time we have for today. Post your replies and I'll get to them as soon as I can!

So the holidays are coming up. Does anybody have plans for the break? I'm still debating how long I want to actually stick around at home. Maybe a week or two. I think I'd like to go somewhere for once, though I'm not sure where.

So what about you guys?

[All responses will come from sovanessessary.]

Thank you to the members of the botany department for helping me to find a place to purchase cattleya orchids on short notice.  Life would be slightly easier if I was less picky about my flower meanings, I suppose.

And, while I'm here, the drama department students are taking suggestions for next year's shows.   If you haven't made a suggestion already, consider what you'd like to see performed.

By the way, would anyone be interested in a matchmaking service? I understand some of you have roommates who won't leave their rooms, or friends who are in need of a pick-me-up, and something a bit more forcible than speed dating may be required.

Who would like to volunteer someone else?

[Feel free to post anon, threadjack, and so on. Michael is the most ethical of staff, clearly. He's doing it for people's happiness.]