29; helping a sisbro out; now kiss!!!; clearly this plan has no flaws; stop flirting you guys

[sandinmyboots]

Hello, community! I must inform you of a terrible and nasty issue:

[Kefka raps on a blackboard with a riding crop. Chalked on it are the words SEXUAL TENSION.]

There are a great many of you flirting! And making doe-eyes! And not doing the proper thing about it, which is to stick each others' tongues in your mouths or confess your love and cuddle or go find a private area in order to proceed to do things I cannot mention on the public televisions!

Now. I will start naming names soon. Please come write in so I can help you with this terrible terrible problem. Or! Ask me about other problems like the Earth Dear Abby. I will fix your lives! I can give you a compatibility test to show your true loves! I will tell you how to deal with bad in-laws! I will make sure that you do not end up dying! In a cave! From a box of scraps!

[With any luck, Operation: Help Yuri Out will be a success.]

Comments

[unknownrival]

You have such a romantic way with words, Kefka.

[sandinmyboots]

That is because I am terribly romantic!

[Video]

[material_guy]

I know the perfect way to vent this sexual tension shit, too!

[Video]

[sandinmyboots]

Before they can sex, they have to admit it first! Otherwise they're too afraid to make the next step!

always video;

[createswithink]

Just another example of you trying to help others.

always video;

[sandinmyboots]

Hush! This is to rid of the community of nasty sexual tension so I don't have to deal with it so much!

[IT'S NOT LIKE I LIKE THE COMMUNITY OR ANYTHING, B-BAKA]

[starblaze]

... I don't understand.

[sandinmyboots]

You're...Dead Master's friend, right? I don't think you have anyone you need to go kiss at once, although you could go kiss her if you really felt like it. [UH] Or you could go kill something and give it to her as a gift, that is also good.

[doesitwithtrees]

...Really.

[sandinmyboots]

Really!

[IT'S BLUFFING TIME]

[quicktoreward]

Alright, okay. What's your idea?

[sandinmyboots]

[Kefka pulls out two dolls. Of Utena and Anthy. And starts waving them around and speaking for them.]

Dear Anthy, I think you are really cute and must inform you that my feelings for you are not just platonic. Let us become equal partners and I will take on your burdens and you will take on mine and then we will cuddle a lot.

Ah Utena! I think this is a nice idea and perhaps this would allow us to deal with all the weirdness on our world together.

[Kefka sits the dolls together in a nonsexual cuddle.] And then you hug a lot.

[loyalbound]

[ ... wat ]

That last part seems a slight exaggeration.

[sandinmyboots]

Well, some people think with their genital areas and I can't figure out how to stop them, so I'll shove them in a room together instead.

[anonymous]

[exceedingwords]

I can bet you that I know more how to resolve this tension than you do.

[sandinmyboots]

If you do, you suck at actually using this information because it's come down to me.

[swordplay]

Kissing's fun.

[sandinmyboots]

So I am told! Don't worry, you are not one of the problematic few!

[enshrined]

...A box of scraps?

[sandinmyboots]

They can be dangerous, you know.

Also! Are you interested in romance or would you prefer friendship?

[HOW DOES HE MAKE HER HAPPY because he's not bringing up marriage, utena is throwing a fit and he's not touching that with anthy. instead. HOW DOES HE HAPPINESS HER.]

[makewayforroze]

You want to help people get together?

[sandinmyboots]

If it gets them to get a room, yes.

[masked_god]

So you took my words to heart after all.

[sandinmyboots]

Something like that. So, are you and the Visitor up for three?

[Video]

[darklycharming]

[Gellert looks amused.]

Re: [Video]

[sandinmyboots]

Having fun?

[Video]

[sotobas_lot]

[His wife just finally flat lined completely today. He's convinced you're mocking him with this talk of romance and couples.]

[Video]

[sandinmyboots]

What's that face for?

[HE'S BEEN OFF WORLD DEALING WITH THE DEAD EIGHT YEAR OLD, HE HASN'T GOTTEN TO THAT YET.]

[soulfist]

Oh~? I keep telling people that they should do that, maybe they will listen to you better.

[sandinmyboots]

I can only hope!

[the_visitor]

While I do appreciate bluntness, I hardly see why this post was necessary.

[Locked]
Kaaree said you had something to talk to me about?

locked

[sandinmyboots]

It's for a friend. She's been under pressure after she and a friend had a huge fight and I'm trying to get the attention pulled away.

And yes. I. Uh. [lfkaj;dsas HE CAN DO THIS.] Howdoyoufeelabouttakingonlovers.

[jailbirds]

What the fuck is this...

[sandinmyboots]

I am mashing people's heads together so they stop flirting in front of me. Very simple. You're not part of the problem, you're part of the solution, which is yelling at them. I salute you, wise woman.

[He's serious.]

[yacantdoitkid]

What the fuck.

[sandinmyboots]

Don't you have something better to do?

[atadflamboyant]

La, my dear sir, you are so forward!

[sandinmyboots]

But....I'm not telling people to kiss me. Just to go do it in places where I can't see it.

[madeitsquare]

What are you doing?!

locked

[sandinmyboots]

I'm helping a friend out. She's having relationship issues and people keep on asking about it, so I'm being a big dumb clown to pull the attention away.

[glass_secret]

This is definitely a what the fuck moment.

What if you just want to flirt because it's fun?

[sandinmyboots]

But why.

[catears]

I can help! I've got experience in helping people get together!

[ Well, sort of not really. ]

[sandinmyboots]

Fantastic! Hop to it; we've got people in desperate need of your help!

[tenminutes]

Having any luck?

[sandinmyboots]

Eh, enough. It's a distraction anyway, so I just need people to boggle a lot.

[delilahs_reaper]

Have you decided to become the community's love doctor, Kefka?

[sandinmyboots]

Yes. I'll put down any unhealthy loves I see.