[anonymous]

[archicheck]

Since this community is used to dealing with...odd relationship questions I thought I would ask one.

We all know that the community has a habit of cutting people off after a while. Sometimes they return with their memories and other times they return with a completely different set of memories. Sometimes they don't return at all.

My question is, if you were cut off from a person you really, truly cared about how can you find the strength to move on? Or should you even move on at all? Should you keep hoping that maybe someday they'll come back and you can just pick up where you left off?

Isn't thinking like that unrealistic? I'd like to believe it could happen, but I don't know if I can.

[ooc: please assume all tags are anon!]

Comments

[anon + text forever!]

[likethetragedy]

You just do. I'd say let them go. Help from afar if they reappear without their memories. See if you can pick things back up again if they do remember.

[archicheck]

Have you had to do that?

[likethetragedy]

Which one?

[Anon]

[precursorstone_gun_nest]

I'd like to think it isn't unrealistic, but I can't really answer. I know I sucked at comforting a friend of mine when it happened to them.

[archicheck]

What did you do to comfort them?

[anon]

[precursorstone_gun_nest]

... Not much. And that ended in an argument. One of these days I'll learn to leave philosophy to people who are actually good at it.

[anon and text forever as well]

[justanothercop]

I've never been cut off from someone I felt like about on the community but I have had it happen in my life. I don't think you ever really come to terms with losing someone you care for like that. You just learn to live with the loss because the world keeps moving even though it seems to end for you. You pick up the pieces and move with the world or you pack it all in.

[archicheck]

I know I have to do that, but the uncertainty, the what-ifs, make it really difficult.

[justanothercop]

You can only do what is good for you at this point. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting the person.

Text

[grimdarkseer]

[Rose doesn't bother with anon. She has no problem letting people know she's still a little miffed about Kanaya being gone]

Yes, incredibly unrealistic.
Yes, there is the chance that the community will cut them off only temporarily and they will return with full memory of all that had transpired.
However.
Far better not to expect it and enjoy the pleasant surprise than to hope for it and have your dreams trampled when the harsh foot of reality lands on you in the shape of your loved one speaking with no memory of what you have shared.

[archicheck]

But what if you do move on and they come back someday. Isn't that like a betrayal?

[timey_wimey]

I don't think anyone ever really moves on from losing someone like that. Whether it's on the community or off it. But ultimately... it hurts less trying to move forward than it does hoping for something that might never happen. And it's hard, it is. But you'll go mad, waiting for something like that.

[archicheck]

I know.

I know that's what I should do, but it's so much easier to say than to actually do.

[ anon ]

[seasaltzombie]

... I think it's kinda hard not to hope for something like that. Even if you know it'll probably never happen.

[archicheck]

I don't think a day has gone by where I didn't think of it for at least a second.

[croibhristeoir]

...I think anyone would hope for a good resolution, whether the community cut them off or they simply drifted apart normally. Sometimes one moves on, sometimes the pain caused by it seems as if it may never heal.

I wish that I could answer you properly, but my case is a special one--were I to be cut off from that person, I would most likely die in a very literal sense.

[archicheck]

Literally? But why?

[nofondueforyou]

Time and the support of other loved ones will help you cope, but I'm not sure that you'd ever completely move on. Even if the person doesn't return, they'd still hold a special place in your heart.

[archicheck]

You're right. I don't think I could ever forget him unless the community tried something stupid.

[heavenlyhome]

There is always the chance they will return, but the more time passes... the less likely it seems. One never stops missing them, but one can move on.

[archicheck]

But when and how is it appropriate to move on?

[hart_on_sleeve]

[Captain John doesn't answer anonymously because Captain John has no sense of boundaries.]

"I've been there. Left behind, cast aside without so much as a 'how do you do?' I always recommend a bottle of hypervodka, some karaoke and just kick back."

[archicheck]

Well, in this case the person in question didn't have a choice in the leaving...

text; anon

[tenminutes]

[ She almost doesn't respond to this. Just because she doesn't know what she would do. She'd thought about him dying, about her disappearing, things like that-- but them both still existing and just not being able to talk to him, do anything for him--

Not that anyone could know that anyway. And she'd.. already tried to come up with what he should do if she forgot him. She already knew that was impossible. So she doesn't have a real answer. ]

If you figure it out, let everyone here know. It might help someone else out, even if we're all hoping it doesn't have to.

[archicheck]

Just from talking with people here, and my own thoughts, I'm pretty sure it would vary from person to person.

People recover in their own way and in their own time.