Ladies and gentleman~

[Kaito's last magic show was FOREVER AND A DAY AGO, so he looks v. pleased to be performing again for his favorite audience. He's even twirling a black top hat on one finger as he grins confidently at the camera~]

'S been a while, hasn't it? Missed me, didn't you? Heh~ Don't worry! I plan on making up for it!

[He takes a sweeping bow for the camera, before extending his arm to the right and pointing to the side to indicate one VERY EXCITED looking Issei] '

I even have a special assistant helping me out today. [... that is when Issei waves VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY at the camera and Kaito snrks]

Watch closely now-- [He shows the camera the inside of his top hat, which is EMPTY but obviously not going to be empty for long. And sure enough, Kaito reaches into the hat and pulls out a GIANT SHEET, before throwing it on top of Issei's head. Issei is clearly startled by this development]

Kaito, what are you--

Hold still! [He reaches out and spins Issei around by his shoulders a bit, before grabbing the edge of the sheet and yanking it away-- TO REVEAL EMPTY SPACE.

Issei has officially disappeared, but... he didn't step into a box first! He just kind of vanished. With a smile, Kaito reaches out and waves his hand in the space Issei was once standing. Naturally, he doesn't come into contact with anything. IT'S LIKE ISSEI JUST DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR.

Kaito takes another bow, and the feed cuts :|b]

I, Karen Minazuki, propose we play a game!

This is some kind of body shuffling virus, right? So why don't we try to guess who got shoved where? You don't have to hide how you talk or anything, just don't tell anyone your name. 'S easy, right?

Might as well have a little fun with this while we can, heh~

Y'know, after being here for so long, I don't think I ever figured out why this weird place likes ducks so much. Dunno why it had to choose ducks either; there are much more interesting animals out there.

'Sides, 'Dramadramallama' sounds better.

. . .

'Dramadramadragon?' 'Dramadramachocobo?' 'Dramadramaplatypus?' No...

Aha! I've got one!

'Dramadramacassowary~'

I was surprised that Kaito didn't pull any sort of magic trick now that it's Houdini's anniversary. And then I remembered why.

For those who knew Kaito Kuroba (pansbox) , I have to inform you that he can't access the comm anymore. And neither does Kaitou Kid, I'm sure.

It seems the members of this community have had a rough few days, correct? I extend my sincerest apologies and best wishes to everyone who was affected by the latest goddess's practical joke. One would think deities would be more creative than that, particularly since she has used the same ploy more than once already.

[that's a dig at you, Izanami, for breaking your word :T]

In the interest of lifting the spirits of those who were affected, I offer my services as a magician in the form of an invitation to my next performance on my world:

"One the night of the second month's nonexistent day, I will steal the largest sparkle on the Princess's Crown."

The larger the audience, the better. As always!

~ Kaitou Kid ♥

((Mini-plot with Suki! Basically he's stealing some diamond on March 1st on his world and inviting people to go. ANYONE IS WELCOME TO ATTEND, it's just your run-off-the-mill Kid heist. You may or may not run into Itsuki in a dress while you're there))

The heck do ducks have to do with Kaitou Kid-- Ooooi! I dunno what this forum is, but it showed up when I searched for 'Kaitou Kid,' so it's gotta be relevant somehow.

I'm Kaito Kuroba, and I'm looking for any information you guys might have on that thief that everyone is suddenly going crazy over. You'd think the guy was some kinda celebrity based on how people were talking about him at school today. Keh... you dress up in a funny outfit and steal something from a museum, and suddenly everyone thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread. Annoying...

I've got something to prove to a friend of mine, so if you could get back to me before he heists again tonight, I'd really appreciate it.

The heck does Aoko know, anyway? Can't beat Kaitou Kid... I'll show her!

((Pre-canon! Or basically, Kaito from chapter 1 of MK, before he figures out all this Kaitou Kid business))

[Have a video of Winry. She looks...irritated.]

Um, hi.

Can anyone tell me what this is?

[Winry holds up a sketch.]

You're on a boat!

It's on fire as it sinks, and is surrounded by elf pirates wearing green hats with red poof balls and eye-patches who will storm your boat and take your treasure if you don't find a way to escape. There are also Canadian reindeer-sharks in the water ready to eat you if you jump off and try to swim away.

You were given the treasure by the great King Santa Claus to protect, but the only items he gave you to protect it with are a box of glass ornaments, a strand of tinsel, and a quickly melting snowman.

You guys know how to play this game, right~? No powers allowed! What do you do and how do you escape?

Oooooi!

Has anyone seen Fuu? She's-- uh, a canary. 'M guessing it's a virus. I took her back to my room to look after her until she was normal again, but she disappeared! Umbreon didn't see what happened to her, either.

If you see her, lemme know, all right? Geez... where the heck would a canary disappear to?!

I was wondering if someone of the more versed members of the community could be of some assistance. At the Halloween party and I happened to have run into two of our community's phantom thieves.

Needless to say, I was rather confused because I can't tell the difference between the both of them: both are mediocre, both are compensating for something, both have nothing better to do than to stroke their egos and they both dress as if they're over half a century old (now, from what I've been told one of them is almost a millennia?). So, could you please help me discern between Phantom Thief Dark and Kaitou Kid?

( cut for images )

I really can't tell the difference.

Oh yes, before I forget. Before you try to hawk my property, please realize that their body parts, no matter how enchanted or no matter if they can provide you the ability to world hop, they still belong to me. Take that into consideration -- this means you too, Azula.

[this is a video so Kaito can show off his AWESOME ACTING SKILLS. He sounds juuust a bit concerned, and perhaps much more soft-spoken than he really is. His posture is also much more feminine and awkward, almost like a girl stuck in a guy's body.

Speaking of that last point...]

Oh, my... I suppose I spoke too soon when I said the community had been far too kind to me lately.

[he lifts a hand as if to brush hair behind his ear, but stops when he realizes it isn't long enough]

Kaito? I… ah… can only assume that if I am in your body… you must be in mine. It is very... different. And, well… improper in the strangest form of the word—ah—


B-but I digress. Might it be possible for you to inform Ferio of the [pause] situation? It might become a bit awkward if—a-anyway.

And... might I ask if anyone else has suffered from anything similar?

((FYI he's faking |D Kaito and Fuu are trollin' the comm by pretending a bodyswap \o\))

It seems I wasn't quite myself these past few days! I'm sure our good friend the community is to blame, as it always is.

Your items will be returned to their proper owners shortly. I thoroughly enjoyed the chase if it's any consolation! And I extend my apologies for anyone who was inconvenienced. My targets have, and always will be, museums and expensive jewels, not personal items.

~ Kaitou Kid ♥

( Locked to Yako//Unhackable )

( Locked to Issei + Fuu//Unhackable )

((all comments anon as always!))

My dear community, it has been quite some time since I last performed for you, hasn't it? Aaaah, what kind of magician would I be if I deprived my audience of their right to entertainment?

( OOC Cut: Heist note under here )

Catch me if you can!

~ Kaitou Kid ♥

((... and since I keep forgetting to put it in the subject lines: all comments anon, ip-untraceable, etc etc))

Alright, Ducks, I'm sure you guys are familiar with a guy named Kaitou Kid.

I wanna know everything I can about the idiot - he just so happens to have something belonging to my boss, and we need it back before I'm shipped off in a few days. 

And I'd rather not have to listen to people bitching and complaining while I'm tryin' to focus on fighting, so let's hear it.

And of course it's only a couple days before I have to leave and that dumbass toddler decides to give me a job.

Might be a good way to test out how much better I've gotten, but I'm still sore all over from 'baachan's training from Hell. Goddammit. But it shouldn't be too hard, only one thing was stolen this time around, and it was only one culprit. Though I gotta give 'em points for style... I guess.

Somehow I get the feeling that it's got to do with the community, too.

(Kicking off a mini-plot before Yuusuke gets shipped off to participate in the Dark Tournament! Styx and I never got the chance to do this when I had him before considering how Chapter Black worked, so we're making use of it now, fufufufu~)

How is everyone enjoying the beginning of the year so far? Classes have barely even started and already things are looking like they'll be pretty exciting, right?

I think this is cause for celebration! I'll provide the music and you guys provide the entertainment!

[... students might notice that each and every time they open a book, it starts to sing at them. Loudly. Someone (along with his Gryffindor prankster friends since he couldn't do this alone) charmed the books with singing charms. That isn't all though, because every time someone casts a mute charm on said books, the singing just gets louder.

Good luck studying with that music filling the air]

((RIGHT SO... most of the books in the castle are affected, but if you wish to opt out feel free to assume Kaito and his prankster buddies missed a few in your character's personal collection or the Forbidden Section of the library or something. Feel free to pick whatever song you want for the book to sing at your character, if you want to join in. And if you're a Gryffindor, feel free to assume Kaito recruited you for this task o7 Action, network responses, and threadjacking is encouraged because Kaito might not respond to everyone. GO WILD :3))

In an act of shocking heroism, Mr. ShinRa has offered to take up everyone else's detention time for Slytherin, so you brats are free to go. Make sure to give him a nice pat on the back later, okay? I'm sure he'll love it.

Mr. Kuroba, this doesn't apply to you. I took the time to give you your trap back, so watch where you step. Better luck next time.

And would the lovely young lady that put chocolates on my desk please step up~?

-Prof Mousy

Mou, I remember seeing those two talented anonymous writers on this stupid community, and I've been inspired! So I wrote something about a dear friend of mine. It's very small like Kaito's dick but I hope everyone likes it! ♥

( WARNING for explicit language and intentional badfic. )