To all students in my Tuesday and Thursday afternoon history class,

A reminder that you will have an exam on the Crusades this Thursday. The exam is in essay format, so please remember to bring an essay booklet, as I will no longer be bringing spars, considering what happened last exam when over half the class didn't bring any.

This exam will count for a good portion of your final grade, so it would be wise to be prepared. Unless you are in the hospital dying, or a similar emergency, there will be no make-up date, so be there. And no, bribing me will not get you a better grade either. It did not work last time, so it will certainly not work this time.

- Rose

What grows faster?

[Raenef is shown sitting in front of his computer, wearing a pair of oversized pajamas. Though several tabs are shown to be open, most of which seemed to be research related, he's currently focused on what seems to be Farmville. Online games for the win!

And then there's a sound from the window, causing him to jump and almost fall from the chair. Though it's out of range of the recording device, Raenef obviously sees SOMETHING that causes him to throw one of the books off screen, ducking under the table for cover.

The video cuts off there but the sound is still audible.]

Oh...Did I get the scariest room mate?

I have been informed that is unfair to spend one of my Psychology classes playing nothing but Pink Floyd albums and not do the same for the rest. So, to my morning class tomorrow, please prepare to relax.

Of course, you will still have to analyze the Wall through the lens of Carl Jung's concept of individuation for homework. But during the class itself I encourage you to sing along to all the songs you know, and you will not be graded for pitch or accuracy.

Hello there, students.

I would like to inform all of my Anatomy and Biology courses that we are going to be holding a very special field trip this Wednesday evening. I’d like all of my students to meet me at the local cemetery at midnight by the churchyard entrance. All students are required to attend. Yes, even if you have a doctor’s note.

Everyone should bring the following:

- A flashlight

- A shovel (the bigger, the better)

- Black clothing (to be worn to the cemetary)

- A pair of gloves

- Shoes that are easy to run in (just in case)

Please make sure to wear your gloves at all times. We don’t want to have to worry about any pesky fingerprints, now would we?

Also, if anybody has a wheelbarrow they’d be willing to bring along, it would be most appreciated.

I might not have run this past the professor, but for any of those in biology who object to desecrating graves, there will be an alternative workshop available Wednesday night in the dorm's multipurpose room.

Sorry, anatomy. I'm trying to see if any of the TAs for that course are willing to do the same thing.

Also, let me know how many are coming, and I'll try to grab snacks for everybody. Doubt I can pull off coffee too--there's only so much I can carry while hobbling around on crutches.

To all of my students in my Friday evening psychology class, try to remember that you have an essay due about frontotemporal dementia. I expect to have all of the essays in my office bin by 3 PM Wednesday. Any of you who try and turn it in later, even if by a minute, will have your essays rejected and earn a zero for it. Remember, this is worth 40% of your overall grade in my class.

Professor Mewtwo

I've heard some people spreading rumors about the older dorms being haunted. Does anyone know anything about it? If you've experienced anything let me know. I've never actually been in the older ones so I don't have any first hand experience with it.

But if you're just making up stories...you really shouldn't, okay? You should be careful with something like that.

[ooc: replies will come from Mai's aged-up account: felldownwells]

Guys. You know me. You've all gotten greeting cards from me with flies on them, seen me wear a shirt with a fly on it, seen my pendants, been to my dorm room and seen the glasses or the sculptures or the prints. And there's more that only my roommate can tell you.

I like flies.

But I draw the line at cutting up books. Even if you put them into fly shapes.

Worn out books are still books that can be read. Give them to the library! Or to charity! Or something! Don't wear them.

If any of you wear any books around, it had better be the dictionary.

Listen up! As most of you may know, the students in the fashion design department take turns putting on a fashion shows of their designs. This semester just so happens to be my turn, so I need volunteers to be models. Don't make me go to the student union and start drafting everyone I come across there.

The show will be held at the student union at the end of this month.

This is Kashiwazaki Sena, making a very important announcement.

This is open sign ups for the Kashiwazaki Sena and friend's club! Not all of you are as popular as I am so I thought I'd help.

So, who wants to join? It's for almost anybody who needs friends.

Goin' on a grocery run in a little bit.  If you want something, come meet me in front of the dorm with the money 'cause I ain't got enough for everybody this time.

EDIT: I AIN'T BUYING PEOPLE CONDOMS

I'm not sure what postzygoats mechanisms of Reproductive Isotopes have to do with anything or how I'm going to write underwater. I'll figure out a way, just like the invention of underwater soccer, but does anyone want to get together a study group?

[The sound of a deep, muffled voice begins speaking as if addressing a large room:]

There has been a rather disturbing lack of cooperation in all of my political science classes. The lack of debate and the apathy towards the state of the world has been very disappointing.

As a result: all political science students must turn in an assignment in a week's time.

The assignment is: Why Democracy Is a Lie, and Why All Governments Are Unjust Tools of the Elite Used to Destroy the Working Man.

All papers must reference at least one government-related atrocity and use statistic to estimate how many have perished at the hands of their government of choice.

[And suddenly Darcy's voice pipes up.]

Woah, woah, woah. Should we give them something a little more open ended? And less...depressing? We want them writing papers, not spiraling into a fit of depression.

What about a paper on Obama vs Romney? They can defend one candidate.

[There is a low, muffled sigh of frustration before Bane adds:]

Or a paper about Romney or Obama. Either is fine.